Road Block (bad word warning)!

I am sad, mad and frustrated.  We hit yet another road block today. Our appointment was CANCELLED in NYC. The reason is because....wait for it...... they are telling me that the insurance is “Out of network”. How can a New York insurance be out of network....... IN NEW YORK?!?!?!? WTF???

Apparently there is insurance in NY for upstate people and insurance in NY for "the city".  Well that is fucking fantastic.  So I guess Pittsburgh being out of network and declining that because NYC was "in network" was a bunch of damn bull$hit. We have already emotionally prepared for Next week.

I am not just mad about the insurance portion.  I am mad that I had to cancel our hotel reservations quickly to avoid a cancellation charge. This is after I had already put in the time and effort to make them. I am mad we spent the effort contacting each and every one of Ethan's teachers to make alternative plans for Ethan’s classes he was going to miss.  We now have to go through that again. We had already arranged to rearrange our work schedules (which  included scheduling of other people's lives too). Now we have to rearrange again....and again...

I am most of all mad that when I had to text my family, Ethan's response was "It's like they just want me to die."Let that sit a minute and resonate.  How do I respond to this?  I get mad.  I get mad that he even has this as a thought.  WTF?  Kids his age shouldn't have to think like this. No one should really.

I responded by pulling up my big girl pants and getting on the phone.  Paul called the insurance company.  I called NYC.  I spoke to a few people.  I was proud that I maintained my cool but was firm. Now we have to wait until this is resolved to get another appointment in a couple of weeks?  A couple of days?  A couple of months?  Who the f*ck knows? I will call daily to check on the progress. DAILY.

The bright side.  Must stay focusing on the bright side or my head is going to explode.  After a while of searching for the bright side and having a pity party of one for myself, I have determined that the bright side is that I am glad that Ethan is not sick enough to panic/worry about this.  I am mad but he isn't suffering.  Patience.  We must have patience.  Nothing good comes of things that are rushed.  The bright side is that we have time.  We will focus on that.  I just don't really care for the yo-yo bull$hit of moving forward, just to get behind.