As I watched the sun come up, I was a bit bummed about Ethan. I slept like crap because of all the excitement all night. My stomach is off and is hurting a little. The thought that is always in the back of my mind is that he will need to be zapped on of these times and still has that clot in his heart (and brain for that matter). That’s all he needs is for that thing to break loose. What if? What if? What if?
Why am I even worrying about this? Whatever happens is going to happen. I have that anxiety tornado swirling around me. He has stepped in shit again.
I have a friend that I met when I lived in Georgia. She was the one that strongly encouraged me to incorporate and adopt a lifestyle of positivity. Best advice ever. Look on the bright side. I started about 20 years ago. It was so hard. Sometimes your mind can just gravitate to negativity and you don’t even realize it. You then have to pull it back in and regroup to restart your mindset. Thank you Vicki.
Let’s be clear. I get annoyed frequently. I try to turn it into a joke so I can use the energy towards laughing instead of anger. It is not fool proof. But can usually help.
I have really taken a liking to harassing the guy that does Ethan’s pacing. He actually thanked me for my humor. Little did he know, he was actually helping me stay calm by sharing a laugh. I miss Paul laughing at my stupid, dry jokes.
I realized I am letting worry get to me. Look at all the good things that have happened so far. Look how far we have come. Look how many people are rooting for Ethan. I need to get my head out of my butt!
I told Ethan this morning that it is time for him to start smelling like a rose again.
Good for you Patti. You have to get your positivity back. Ethan needs it, his care takers need it, you need it, we all need it. Exhaustion doesn't help either. We are all collectively trying to lift your spirits. I hope you can feel it. Ethan is working hard to get back on track. It sure is time for some roses.
ReplyDeleteI can feel it! Thanks.
Delete🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹A dozen Roses for Ethan (and you)
ReplyDeleteAnd... I seriously wish I could make jokes when I'm angry :-)
It sometimes is hard. ❤️
Delete🙏🏼🌹🌹🌹
ReplyDeleteAs we go thru life, I’ve always said you can’t worry about things u can’t control.. What will be will be..
ReplyDeleteEthan and his toughness has this in control. He will keep fighting and rebuild his new heart to adhere to his body..
You are a strong momma, and person.. don’t beat itself up.. He’s a strong and wonderful kid..
Prayers and virtual hugs to you and Paul..
Thank you.
DeletePatti, hopefully he is resting better now and today will be better. Every day that new heart is in there is healing. Sending calming vibes and healing vibes in waves to you both.
ReplyDeleteYou're an incredibly strong woman, and Ethan is an amazing strong willed young man. Sending prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteSomedays positivity is so much harder than others. On the harder days we’ll pick up the slack and be positive for you guys. So many positive steps have been made and there will be, absolutely, without a doubt greater accomplishments to come. He’s got this and so do you. 💕
ReplyDeleteYou have such a mixed bag of emotions going on right now but I’ve seen your sense of humor and positivity shine through. It will be ok. Ethan is one tough kid, his body is adjusting to a major system change.
ReplyDelete🌹🌹🌹🌹🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Patti, I’m so glad you created this way of including us in your journey. I’m rooting for you and Ethan. Stay strong Patti- you are an amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteIt is so okay to feel and to worry. You just don’t want to stay there. Your friends advice was awesome. Be sure to give yourself a pass every once in awhile too. Yes , there are tons of people routing for Ethan and your family as a whole, xoxoxoox
ReplyDeleteContinued prayers coming your way ☺️ 🙏. ❤️
ReplyDelete