💤11/30 7:25 am

HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. No crisis situations, no 20 people running in with multiple alarms and bells going off all at extremely loud decibels. No me trying to read furrowed brows or having their pitying eyes on me. Inhale big, exhale big. But I am not letting my guard down.

At one point in the night I heard an alarm going off at one point and woke up to ask if everything was ok.  His first contact provider was standing there. I said "Hey, I thought we agreed that you were going to stay out of here tonight." He laughed.  He said there was nothing to worry about he was just stopping by to check in.

Ethan's fever is coming and going but they are doing daily blood cultures and treating the pneumonia.  It doesn't help that he is just laying there (geesh what a lazy kid, ha ha kidding). He is getting breathing treatments to help support him.

I popped out of bed and walked down to the shower, hoping I had beat the other parents.  Have I mentioned how gross it is to sleep in your mask all night and then enjoy your own toxic morning breath that is trapped in your mask? What kind of bacteria party is going on in my mouth while I sleep? Yuck!

On my walk to the bathroom, something was wrong. I felt odd. Wait.  My head is foggy.  I think all the noise from the machines is taking a toll on my hearing.  I can't hear very good.  Normally I take an allergy pill to help with fluid in my ears. I better take two today. Normally the fluid doesn't make things sound so weird. Wait a minute.  I still have my ear plugs in. I am a dingbat. Ha! Glad I didn't take two allergy pills.  I would be a zombie.

I was the first to the shower.  I remembered my towels and my soaps. That makes like two days in a row. I put some laundry in, which is on a different floor.  I went to go get my coffee and the machine was out of order. I must have looked sad, because the respiratory therapist said "is everything ok?" I told her that I just wanted coffee and the machine was broken.  The coffee machine provides free coffee and espresso to parents. It is a lifesaver when you need to feed your daily kick in the pants coffee habit. No big deal, I can go down to the café when they open at 7:00. She asked me how I liked my coffee.  Black.  Like the black hole black. 

Moments later, she came back as if an angel descending from the sky, clouds parted, rays of sunshine behind her, warmth around her.  She is my hero today.  A small gesture that made a big deal. Why aren't we all trying to do this every day? She gave me a cup of coffee, she had to walk to a different tower to get it. WOW! Thank you.

I decided to throw in some laundry. No one was using the machines.  The machines are three floors down. I just leave my clothes there. If someone steals my underwear, they obviously have more issues than a sick kid in the hospital.

Who knows what today holds.  We are going to roll with the punches. I feel like I am in a much better state of mind.  A rested mind.