❤️ 12/7 7:05 am

 

When I woke up this morning I could feel the rats nest on my head.  I sat up.  It is so weird to wake up with strangers in your room.  They are in and out all night.

“Hi Mom” Ethan’s nurse cheerfully said to me.

“I know your not going to believe this, but I wake up this beautiful every day.” I said. She laughed.

I could see some of my hair going rogue beyond my face.  

Also, it is so gross to sleep with a mask on. It can’t be good for me.

Ethan had a relatively quiet night. He is stirring more and and has started asking for his phone.  He doesn’t realize his pants are gone and keeps thinking it is in his pocket. Ok we are back to the “I want a toilet” stage.

Handcuffed to the bed again, Ethan stirs when they move him or do anything with his breathing tube. His blood pressure sky rockets. Neurology will be happy. They can get a good exam on him.

With all this exercising of my patience, my patience should be a robust beast asking “which way to the weight room?” because it’s constantly working out.  I still catch myself wanting to rush this along.  When can he get his breathing tube out? When can he get his chest tubes out?  Ultimately, I know that ideally we just have to wait. My robust beast named patience, (what a terrible beast name) needs to get back in the gym.

Ethan’s eyes are so red. He has medication in them but the lids are swollen and the tissue around the eye is fire engine red. I asked if they hurt, he said “yes”. There is medication that they are putting in his eyes. I explained to Ethan that it May look like he is underwater with that ointment in his eyes.  I can’t imagine waking up in his state, confused and not really being able to see.

Rounds will be in a few hours. We will see what Ethan’s X-ray looks like.