2/17

I woke up crippled. The vinyl couch is trying to kill me slowly. I thought we were friends but now we are frenemies. I luckily scored a yoga mat a week ago and have been doing my 10 minute yoga YouTube daily. This morning was extra sore because this couch is as comfortable as a cinderblock.

Ethan slept well. Having an entire new set of people having to learn his normals is a lot of work. He had a nasal cannula put on him in the middle of the night because he routinely dips his oxygen when he is in a deep sleep. It is not at all wrong or inappropriate to put that on, but Ethan woke up panicked because he was “regressing” and had no one to ask. So he laid there upset until I woke up. With tears in his big beautifully lashed eyes, we talked about how it’s just a little different here.

The shower here, there are two, so the odds of getting in to a shower is already double. Win! The curtain is hung from the ceiling so it only comes down to my belly button area and then there is nothing. This confuses me. My brother said it was a perfect shower curtain for perverts. I agree. At least the shower is clean.

Ethan is eating more now that he is off the day time feeds. We are on a calorie count and have to write down everything that goes in his mouth. 

I also had psych come to evaluate Ethan’s  anxiety level. He has complained of laying in bed with his mind racing and worrying as well as just not being able to shut his mind off. These are classic, anxiety ridden symptoms. If there is a way to have help with that, he wouldn’t mind having a little help and suppressing that anxiety. There is nothing worse than trying to go to sleep but you can’t because of stupid worry. After a series of questions, they determined it would be ok to try a low dose of medication to help him ease his worry.

Ethan plowed through the day with more medication weans and didn’t take a nap until 3:30. He got his laptop out and worked on some editing for the first time in so long. He was sharing his plans to some day save up money for his next car that he wants to convert into a drift car. I then looked at a few pictures of Nissan 240 and got an inside glimpse of what he wants to do with it and how he wants to modify it. All great things as I think back, I couldn’t have this conversation, or any conversation 3 weeks ago.

Ethan is now taking many pills orally. Woo hoo! Working towards HD dialysis.

Ethan got into his wheel chair because Janice shit the bed....again, earlier than she was supposed to. Ethan’s poor nurse had to prime the machine. Even when they wheel Janice into the hall, unplugged, it makes this high pitched noise that can only be replicated by Jim Carrey, in the movie Dumber and Dumber as “The most annoying sound it the world.” Unbelievable!

I also got the news my identity had been stolen and used to file an unemployment with. The employer was correct, the info was correct, the address the check was being sent to was not correct. This was through one of my Per Diem jobs and luckily the HR person was diligent and caught it. It caused a lot of extra work but I think I got it straightened around. I am annoyed at the extra work but also thankful that I had a diligent person on my side.  (Bright spot).

Ethan had a visit from one of his nurses that didn’t know that he had moved. She came up to see him before her shift started. She saw a button that made her think of him. It was called the “badass button”. It was hilarious and says motivational sayings like “you are a badass” and “Feed fear a suck it sandwich”. I love this tribe of people. Fun sense of humor. It brought a big smile to Ethan’s face.

I also got a visit from one of my fav’s from 9 Tower. Just someone that is so nice to talk to and has a calming presence. Someone that even if you talk about nothing, it is somehow meaningful. It made my day.

Ethan had his bath early and was fast asleep by 8:00 pm. His feet were swollen from having only one kidney....the lone kidney has gone on strike and a Janice machine that also went on strike. His feet and heels hurt from walking yesterday. His knees are sore and his body aches from just moving. His skin is fragile and wants to rip open every little move he makes and we have to be so careful to protect it. But he pushed through today. He did it well. 

Today’s bright spot was Ethan laughing when we listened to the badass button. His smile was big and genuine.