💩 12/10/21

There are only a few people I care to discuss the intimate details of my bowels with. Everyone else, I would prefer, to think I just don’t poop at all. 

The last 3 or so days, however, have seemed like I have been on a continuous loop of colonoscopy prep. It has turned into a game of “Am I going to” : burp, vomit, pass gas or have diarrhea. It’s not really a fun game and I don’t recommend it. It makes me feel gross.

Today was the worst. Thank goodness my appointment wasn’t until later. When I arrived I met with the surgeon and told him about my guy issues. He asked me a series of questions, including “how many times have you had diarrhea today?” My answer: “about 15.”

He asked how my appetite was….terrible. I am doing my best to choke down protein rich, bland foods. I have to mentally prepare to eat because of how bad it makes me feel afterward. I eat, then lay down with an ice pack.  He told me to go to the lab and they would “run a few tests” to make sure I didn’t have a bacterial issue or wonky virus. He said my gut was likely just trying to recover from the monumental movement a few days back and all the medication it took to achieve that.

I went to the lab. There was a lady working there that explained briefly that the lab work was a stool test. 😳. “What?” As I comprehended what she was saying she was quickly giving me directions about pooping in a specimen cup with an opening that was about 3 inches. “I am supposed to poop in this? Right now?” She seemed annoyed at my questions and existence really.

I went into the public restroom and saw that someone had peed on the seat. Ugh! If I had any ammo in the chamber, it was creeping inside my body. I have a good ole college try and then felt the bottom of the container bounce off the toilet water. And…….we are done here. I was feeling a bit humiliated at the entire situation. I threw  the cup away after it touched public toilet water.

I am done. Done with this appointment. Done with trying to balance in a public restroom after recently being cut open….done.

I came out and asked for a “to go” cup because I threw the other one away. She started to question me and I asked if if she could “poop on command with a healing abdomen?” I didn’t give her time to respond. “I need a to go cup.” I was then sent to the front desk to ask for “stickers”. The lady at the front desk was so kind and helpful. I thanked her multiple times. Kindness is crucial. There was no reason for this woman to be nasty to me, yet she was. Crabbiness is contagious.

I decided to spread more cheer when I left. I thanked the Uber driver, I complimented a neighbor on her pretty Christmas decorations and our Grubhub driver tonight god a nice compliment. Kindness is free.

I am still trying to eat a bland diet. I am feeling tired and run down. So I have been napping and going to bed early. I wish we could heal a little faster.

I don’t have to go back for a check up for 6 months so that is good.

Ethan removed his steri strips today on his incision. It looks good…bruised, but good.