12/8/21

Today was emotional for me. Not bad emotional, good emotional. I am in a state of shock and disbelief. I finally was able to process what has happened over this past week. 

We woke up this morning, no making a dialysis plan for the day. No trying to figure where to carve the hours for dialysis, no trying to condense life to make sure just the most important necessities were met. We had NOTHING on our schedule. 

Ethan took his first real shower in over a year. It is such a simple thing. A thing we all do. As the water washed over him, my emotions were flowing all over me.He can do it by himself with no danger of harming himself from infection of the dialysis catheter. Just like that, another chain to hell is broken. Ha! Take that hell! 💪🏻So overwhelmingly unbelievable. 

We had a low- key day as Brian and Kristen busted their ass cleaning, washing all the bedding and towels, stocking the fridge before they departed. How do you thank someone for uprooting their life to help you with yours? It was so generous and of course they wouldn’t even use the gift card I tried to give them. “Keep it for you guys”. Amazing.

As the day went on I had a sense of relief. A sense of the ending of the war. Now we can have peace talks and all of Ethan’s organs can play in harmony.

We both took it pretty easy and we are both still sore. I decided that last night was my last Tylenol and I don’t think it was making any significant difference.

Both of our belly’s are distended and sore, but not enough to keep us from walking around to look at Christmas lights. Another tradition we do during the holidays, that we missed out on last year.

I always feel like the lights offer a sense of joy and contentment. If you decorate you living space, you will bring joy and contentment to not only yourself, but anyone that sees it. We decided to move our little tree to spread our joy to those that walk by our little garden apartment.

Even if no one else feels this way, we feel good that it could possibly offer someone some good feelings. It seems corny, but I can’t apologize for the way I feel.

This surgery brought so much change to us. Our address, our dialysis schedule, our work status, our school status, uprooted the lives of family for over a week…any change can have a positive spin…..all have been considered positive in my book…there are so many things to be thankful for. Little gifts life has throw towards us as if to say “here, you worked hard, life was shitty, I am sorry about that, you survived and won…..take all this change as a constellation prize.”