As Avery left for school this morning she calls out “Bye Mom, I hope your day is good even though I won’t be here.” And just like that…..a smile came to my face. She’s pretty funny.
In bird feeder news, the squirrels have told their friends about all the food available. One squirrel was showing off doing his upside down P90X sit ups while eating sunflower seeds.
Quarantining is no fun. I am sick of wearing a mask in the house. I am ready to be done with it. Monday is the magic day. Just in time to go to NYC Tuesday for Ethan’s Wednesdays appointment.
I am now conditioned to be so careful and actually have anxiety regarding this. I avoid stores. I avoid crowds. I try to be cognizant of who has been around someone that may have been in contact with someone positive. I try to evaluate the risk of someone that I will be around. It continues to be a huge source of anxiety for me.
Paul doesn’t seem to share my level of cautious ways. It’s not that he isn’t cautious, it just isn’t the same level of caution that I have. He has been out snowmobiling a couple times and stops at bars even though he has been exposed to me. He justifies it by wearing a mask. He washes his hands and sanitizes. I just hope no one gets sick because of the unnecessary exposure. Also, anyone he is exposed to increases his chances of bringing it home. I get frustrated by this behavior given all we have given up and endured over the past two years, but as long as the kids stay negative I will feel ok. We all still have to live so where do you draw the line?
It does frustrate me though. For everyone Paul has exposed, there are so many people doing the same thing or not being as hygienic as they should be and that is why it has continued for so long. I just want it to end.
I know I am sensitive to it. How could I not be? I do NOT want to go through another hospitalization with Ethan any time soon. He does NOT need that either.
I just want to be able to do things again without the fear of sending my kid to the hospital….or worse. I have been extremely careful and STILL got it. It is all just so frustrating.
You are SO close to Monday! What matters the most to me is that you were okay in your fight with Covid. You got through it. It wasn't ideal, but so far, the rest of your family is okay and that is truly everything! This pandemic is completely and utterly frustrating. It has caused so much worry, stress, anxiety and heartache. So many people share your same feelings. It's hard to watch other people's behaviors when you know what's at stake- keeping Ethan out of that hospital again! This pandemic is teaching us lessons though....about resilience, about kindness, about how to deal and cope should you get Covid, about creating joy and in many ways about letting go. There's so many things out of our personal control. It's terrifying to start thinking about all the horrible things that can happen, but YOU can choose to let go of these worries and veer of this worry path! You, Ethan and your family have PROVEN you are strong enough to deal with the very worst things that can happen. You've triumphed under incredible odds. We WILL TRIUMPH over this pandemic. We've got a huge world of people that experience and cope with life challenges differently and in so many ways. Deep breathes... YOU are okay right now. That is everything.
ReplyDeleteThanks Melissa. I needed that. Sometimes it does get overwhelming. These are the times when I have to remember to kick HELL in the balls. ❤️
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