2/28/22

I got an email today that we should be expecting a letter from Ethan’s donor family. I got sick to my stomach for how difficult it must have been for this family to write. I had anticipation butterflies in my stomach. I am curious about our donor but also can’t imagine the loss they experienced.

We had been warned that we may never hear from our donors family. I reached out anyway. I do t really know what I expected but I asked the donor family for a name and some characteristics of our generous donor.

I waited until we were all home and sitting together and I read the letter out loud. It was written by our donor’s mom. She shared that our donor’s name is Nicole (her friends called her Cole or Colie). “I KNEW it was a girl! I totally KNEW it.” He said.

Colie was a nurse that was ambitious, adventurous, loved animals and loved being outside. I really felt that Ethan was the perfect vehicle to help her continue to live on, and they, as a team, can conquer the world together.

Ethan let the letter resonate. He was quiet. Paul, Avery and myself were trying to make connections. For example, “no wonder you clicked with all your nurses, Ethan” or “she likes animals too”, “she was nursing Ethan from the inside” or “Racing will be the perfect adventure to share with her.”

Ethan stated that he knew it wasn’t his fault that she passed but it almost felt to him, like he caused her death. He knew he didn’t but he had a sense of responsibility and guilt. He said “why did I survive and not her?”

We talked about “survivors guilt” and how it is a real thing. I was so warmed by the note sent to us, that i am looking forward to sharing more with this family.

We we’re talking and Paul brought up a great idea. We are going to design a sticker for Ethan to have on his race car to honor Colie.