Today was frustrating. Last I have started to go to a counselor to learn how to cope with a teenager that needs therapy but is unwilling to help himself. Everyday is a new adventure. You never know what you are going to get. The angry kid that is mad with his situation? The fearful kid that is scared something bad is going to happen? The seemingly happy kid that remains happy unless things don’t go exactly his way?
Today I was told I was selfish. I was selfish for asking him if he had sent a thank you text to acknowledge a birthday gift. I was selfish because I told him he was raised better than to disregard a birthday gift and that it reflects poorly on me as a parent. Very, very selfish!
It is times like this I would like to remind him why we are not doing dialysis anymore. This would only cause him to resent it and I don’t want that either. How much of it is being a teen and how much of it is lack of therapy. I told him I was not going to ask that question anymore. If he does not thank you for a birthday gift, please know that we tried. At this point it is not worth the fight for me.
Each step of this process has been hard in it’s entirety way. I can only control my actions and reactions at this point. Someday I hope he can look back and not resent his struggle.
Paul got home today and that was my bright spot. ❤️
Super, super frustrating! Maybe you should threaten to take YOUR kidney back. Hmmm..... now that would be selfish. LOL. I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself with some professional advice. I have an incredibly stubborn, sensitive, introverted kid and it can be so ROUGH coping with that. Let's just say that I don't handle myself very well when mean or blaming comments are thrown my way. I usually react very strongly. Not always a good strategy, but I don't like to be a punching bag. Who does? Just know that you are in the right even if the kid doesn't see that right now. It's this push/pull thing with moms. They don't want to "need us", but when the poop hits the fan, we are the FIRST person they want. Yep. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWell, first.... Kids are brats.
ReplyDeleteSecond: Boys are stubborn, stinkin' brats. So there's that.
Third: Did I mention that kids are brats????
Fourth: Boys need no help. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. They're just ANGRY FOR NO GOOD REASON!!!!! If you wonder why, see comment #1.
Fifth: Therapy, just having someone to talk to, yell at, bounce things off can be a mind cleanser but there are a lot of personalities that fight that concept.... and maybe they're right, in their own way. Not everyone's a sharer. Not everyone wants someone in their head. But it's tough when the anger and resentment step in, or the self-pity (not like there isn't some reason, but hey: Dude: You're alive. So there's that!!!!!)
I need farm help this summer. There's something back-breakingly awful and wonderful about hoeing out pumpkin plants, spreading fertilizer, basking in the heat (okay, that's not fun) but knowing that you're growing something is always so much better than not growing something. Not that I want to give the lad a heart attack, but working on a farm is the normalest of normal. And makes you really appreciate climate-controlled environments!!!!!