6/9/22

I am excited for this weekend. There is a group of us (minus a few 😢) that are going up to our College for Alumni weekend. I haven’t seen many of them since 2019 or maybe even before. I am looking forward to laughing and having fun.

Today Avery sent me a screenshot of a letter she received from the Rochester section of the Chemical Society saying she is receiving an award for being in the top 10% of Chemistry students in a 6 county area. WOW! This is my bright spot. This one may glow on for a while as my bright spot. This confirms she has all the “elements” to be a success. Her basic classes days “argon”. She keeps her “ion” the prize. Yes. I think I am funny.

I am still a member of the pediatric heart transplant group. There was a mom today that has an 11 year old son on ECMO. I reached out to her to offer hope and invite her to vent, share her worries and be a support. 

Today as I was monitoring a patient under anesthesia, I kept having flashbacks from when Ethan was in the hospital. The beeping of the anesthesia machine really bothers me. Today I had a patient with an arrhythmia. The pattern of the arrhythmia tickled my brain and I was remembering the moments leading up to and when they shocked Ethan awake. I remembered how his body was flailing in the air from the jolt of electrical current to regulate his heart. 

Some days my chest gets tight. There is a physical reaction. I get grumpy and have trouble concentrating. Other days I am fine. It is so weird to experience. Today wasn’t that good of a day. I had the tight chest and kept taking deep breaths and doing box breathing exercises. It’s all part of the trauma. Just working through it.