12/25/22 🎄

At about 10:30 pm last night, I got my next dose of morphine. I was then able to use a walker to hobble to the bathroom. I was pleased by my effort. When I came out, the orthopedic surgeon came to meet with me. He saw me hobbling along back to my bed (which I think was a good thing).

He was really nice and we developed a plan. He told me I have two severely herniated discs. He is adding iv steroids. Finally, someone is listening. I told him that I needed to reduce the inflammation so I could be more able to do physical therapy and ambulate around. Then, I can strengthen that area and resolve the herniating, preferably without surgery.

He said “we can start the steroid tomorrow morning.”

Me: “ is there a reason you are waiting until then? I feel like I would like to start now to get a jump on resolving the inflammation.”

Him” I suppose we can start it tonight.”

Me: “do you have some in your pocket?”

He chuckled. “No I am all out”

I shook my head and teasingly told him that “I was disappointed he came unprepared.”

In the middle of the night they took me to X-ray to get a picture done. The X-ray technician had me stand up for the X-ray. He was so fast. I was thankful. 

I have been thanking everyone that I helps me, from the transport people to the nurses, doctors and different places they wheel me, for their help as well as working on a holiday. I find verbalized appreciation is exactly what these workers need as they are away from their families to help others.

Merry Christmas! Ethan and I had a good text exchange in the middle of the night. He was saying that Christmas doesn’t mean much to him anymore. He wished that we all could treat each other kinder every day of the year instead of just a season or day.

Based on the book I am ready and therapy assignment, I kept it “airy” and replied that I could understand his point of view. I told him that it is likely a coping skill he has developed to protect himself from getting let down since he used to get so excited and love Christmas and the past few years he has not gotten to enjoy it. 

I also told him that is why I help to support a few local charities within our community, food shelf, clothing closet, animal shelter and now blood donation. Lead by example right? I asked him if he wanted to join me and exercise kindness the entire year. That was met with silence.

The hens were clucking back and forth about how they drank the “bad water” and now they have diarrhea and need gas ex. They were discussing their stool quality consistency with graphic details and wiping techniques. 🤮. I also drank the “bad water” which was not bad at all. I am fine. One of them saw a news broad cast about city water and assumed that the hospital doesn’t filter their water. Sometimes the psyche can play tricks on you.

 They keep their curtains open for any chance to drag me into their conversation.  I am keeping my curtain closed and staying quiet. Every so often I pretend to snore so they just think I am sleeping a lot.

My doctor today was the crotchety one from yesterday. She keeps discontinuing the medications that offer some relief and continuing the ones that don’t. Yesterday I asked for a muscle relaxer knowing it would help the muscles around the disc to allow healing. It was a Hard no from her she wanted to do morphine which puts a bandaid on pain (truthfully it wasn’t that helpful). So today when I asked for the morphine she had discontinued it with no plan in place. What? The plan was to just let me lay here with a lidocain patch and oxycodone which is similar to drinking water for me to treat pain. Of course I had to summons her to explain what kind of plan she has made because it was late morning and no one had come. I get that it is a holiday and there is a skeleton crew, but do better. Is it a plan to keep me here longer?

I told her my goal was to be comfortable enough to do physical therapy exercises and I am being failed. So today, suddenly the muscle relaxer is a good idea. The gabapentin I asked for was also reinstated after she discontinued it after one dose.”  It shouldn’t be this hard. I wish I could lay out my own plan.

So really it is a crap shoot of information that I take with a grain of salt. I feel frustrated to have to fight for a treatment plan. I can only control certain things here. I am  doing the things I can control, like my stretching, exercises, periodic standing and sitting. 

The nurse came in to give me my nerve pain (gabapentin) medication. He hands it to me. I read the package. Colace. This is a stool softener, which I am not even prescribed (on Miralax instead). I looked at him puzzled as to why I was given a medication that wasn’t prescribed. “This isn’t gabapentin” I said. “Yes it is.” He said. “Ok, read this word here.” I pointed to where it said COLACE.

He made a noise of embarrassment. That’s fine everyone makes mistakes. I have learned you double check everything at hospitals. However, as a nurse myself, that is nursing 101. You check the medication name, dose, patient, instructions and route given. None of my patients can read and it is so important to avoid a terrible mistake.

He scurried away and grabbed the correct medication. He brought it back to show me the same of it. I looked at the name and noticed the dose. It was incorrect. “What is the mg of this that I am supposed to have I thought it was 300 mg” He said “yes, 300 mg.” I said “this is a 600 mg capsule” he looked at it, then scurried away. That would have harmed my kidney for sure.

I then made him go over all my medications with the mg’s and when they were due. I told him my goal was to reduce wind up pain so I can heal quicker. I set alarms on my phone so I could call and remind him when it was time.

Paul came to visit and that was nice. We watched a little bit of A Christmas Story. We have quite an odd Christmas. 

My 7:00 pm medications were due. I called the nurse. He showed up 40 minutes later with one medication. “Where is the other medication that is due?” I asked

“ you are only due for one.”

“No! I am due for two. The steroid and the muscle relaxer.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

“Double check your computer but I am pretty sure.” Are you kidding me? Isn’t he supposed to know? The dude is juggling like 4 medications. Ethan has like 12. 4 medications are nothing. 

He checked and sure enough, I was 40 minutes late for my dose. He then had to go order it, because he only ordered 1 medication.

He left and came back with my medication at 8:05 pm. He gave me double the prescribed dose. I looked at it. Isn’t this 10 mg? I am supposed to get 5 mg right? Then out came the pill cutter. He cut the pill in half. Maybe he wanted to make sure I slept really well.

There was a shift change and I had the girl that I had last night. She is on the ball. She gave my pills a little early and said she would be back at 11 pm. I believe her. She was punctual last night and didn’t make medication mistakes. That makes me feel so much better.

I am hoping by tomorrow I can sit comfortably. We will see. I will have 24 hours of steroids in me.

Merry Christmas to all. I hope everyone had a happy holiday and I will be celebrating it at some time with my family too. Here’s hoping I have made significant progress by tomorrow.