1/19/2023

The instructions for surgery are kind of funny. I was supposed to shower this morning. It was written down that I should brush my teeth and use deodorant. EWWW! They had to add those to the pre operative instructions for a reason. Some ninny decided to arrive to surgery with their mouth full of bacteria from the night before. Why wouldn’t you brush your teeth? Yuck! 

The direction was also to apply deodorant.  I can see where someone may get confused when it said to avoid lotions and perfumes. 

Ethan was my driver today as Paul was working. Ethan dropped me off at the door and had to meet me in the surgical check in area. This meant I had to stand in line to check in at the check in desk, walk to the elevators, wait for the elevator, walk down a hall and then stand in line to check in when I got to the surgical check in area. I was DYING! Woah! It was excruciating. 

Ethan had to park the car and then meet me at the surgical check in area. Neither one of us had ever set foot in that particular hospital. He didn’t know where to go in the parking garage let alone in the building. 

He made it to the surgical area as they were taking me to prep me. First, before anything, they gave me a pregnancy test. I chuckled. Not only do I have the birth control implant, I have not been in a physical state which would allow any actions that could result in pregnancy for the past month. I am glad they are thorough.

My nurse was helpful and nice. After I changed into the fashionable hospital gown,  the nurse brought in a few heated blankets. They were glorious. I got my IV and answered a slew of questions. Ethan was allowed to come back in the room and wait with me until surgery.

I was asked to blow my nose. Then they had to do beta-dine swabs in my nostrils, which were like the deep Covid swabs for Covid tests. It made my eyes tear up which made my nose run.There were two in each nostril for 30 seconds each. This was because it helps to decrease the chance for MRSA infections. 

I was able to wipe my nose but not blow it. I wiped my nose several times.  I asked the nurse for some hand sanitizer, because I had been wiping my nose. I didn’t want to touch anything with my nose funk all over and contaminate anything. She gave me a funny look.

“I have never, in 42 years of nursing, been asked this question.” She said.

“Really? I was touching my nose.” I thought  for a moment. “I have conditioned myself to be extra careful with my hygiene since I have an immunosuppressed kid at home.”

She came back with a few wash cloths so I could scrub, rinse and dry my hands. I thought that was sweet!

The man across the hall from me was getting a knee replacement. He was there with his wife. He had to use the rest room and she followed behind him holding his gown closed. She went back to wait in his room. When this man was done, he proudly strolled back to his room with his back side fully exposed. His wife stood up and quietly reprimanded him for his butt out.

I was then given some delightful medication and I don’t remember anything after Ethan left and was heading up to the waiting room.

The next thing I remember, my doctor was in my room trying to shake my hand. I remember thinking, oh no! I need hand sanitizer. I don’t know what viruses he could have on his hands. I was kind of out of it, so he told me some things that I don’t recall. 

I asked the recovery nurse some questions. We got talking about how people wake up from anesthesia. She shared a few fun stories about some people. I told her that I had a theory that the way you wake up from anesthesia is a direct correlation to that person’s authentic inner self. 

She agreed and went on to tell me about some nasty patients she had. I asked her how I acted and wondered if I should be embarrassed. She said I was giggly and smiled a lot. I like that. I will take that as my true inner authentic self. 

Ethan showed up and we chatted here and there until they said I could go home. We arrived at about 10 and left around 3:30.

When it was time, I sent Ethan out to grab the car so and they had me sit in the wheelchair. I felt sore, but my leg wasn’t hurting at all. It is crazy to think how crazy it was that I had this relief. I rode home in the front seat, sitting up! Woo hoo! Ethan did some gentle driving.

When I arrived home, I stood for a while..because I could. I sat for a while and laid down.by TV It is sore when I try to switch positions.

My drugs make me loopy. Jiminy and I are headed for a nice evening slumber.

My bright side is modern medicine. The fact they are able to fix this for me is mind blowing.