3/21/23

 After Avery and Paul left this morning, I went up to shower. Ethan’s normal routine is to stay in his room. He will come down and grab food but take it back to his room. If he is not in his room, he is out in the garage.

When I came downstairs, he was sitting on the couch. I felt like a spectator observing a rare animal in the Forrest. He doesn’t like chatting, so I respected that. I played it cool by making my breakfast in the kitchen out of sight. He recently had gotten some feedback from work that upset him. He is in a “me against the world” mindset.

I figured I would let him talk if he wanted to but not force it. Within 2 minutes of joining him quietly in the living room, he got up and went in the garage without a word. Sad face. I accept that he is in an awkward stage of life and it is compounded with the trauma of everything he went through.

The fact that he shared via text his frustration with work was a big deal to me. There is still a little bit of communication there. I brought him up dinner to his room last night and told him “I know you had a rough day at work today, so I brought you dinner. I love you.” And I gave him a hug and left. He ate the dinner, I peaked in to see and the plate was empty. Yay!

Later in the day I walked into the garage and saw him welding. Sparks were dancing all over the place. He had on his welder’s face shield thing. I know he was happy doing that. 

I went outside tonight after dark. The air was still and it was quiet. It was a little chilly but pleasant at the same time. The sky was overcast so I couldn’t see the stars. I imagined them up there though. It reminded me of a chilly version of a July night. I can’t wait for the weather to warm up.