10/30/23

 Paul came home from work tonight as I was pulling out of the driveway. I am not sure what happened because it happened so quick. 

I was finished with work and sitting on the couch to clear my mind, scrolling on Facebook. This beautiful pittbull appeared along side of a desperate plea for someone to adopt this dog. He was the perfect combination of meatball and cinderblock. I asked the person about him and she asked if I could come meet him right now?

So there I was, no time to think. I jumped in the car. I drove to the address given, radio off. What am I doing? Am I ready to do this? I don’t really think I am ready. Sometimes I have to just trust life.

Paul and I have both talked about how much we miss Phineas. But we also enjoy the equilibrium of the house. 95% of the animal duties I take care of, so I know this will be rightfully my project, my hobby.

I pull up to the house and knock on the door. I was met with a hearty low and scary bark, just the way I like it. He had the pittbull smile and was a friendly beefcake.

He appeared to be about 2-3 years old. He was quite hyper which is understandable and expected. He tried to hump me multiple times (can’t really blame him….I am a babe!) . He was un-neutered. He really enjoyed humping. 

I can deal with humping behavior. Look at Paul, he turned out ok. I was very close to taking this dog. I had called Paul to get his stamp of approval as he knew nothing about this. Paul was surprisingly very supportive and open to anything, as he knew this would be my project.

I didn’t really have time to process what I was doing. I took a moment and paused. What about Ferguson? What about the rabbit? What about poor Jiminy’s skull.

I ultimately had to walk away from this beautiful dog. But I knew someone would love him the way that he properly needed it.

I came home with nothing. Empty-handed. It was a hard decision, but it was the right decision for us. As I sit on the couch, I processed the evening. This helped me realize that I am not ready to take that on. I wasn’t this dog’s person. 

I am thankful for the situation tonight. I think it will help me avoid that moment of weakness in the future. It also took incredible will power to make a decision with my brain and not my heart.