3/26/24

 I had a yucky day. I made a dumb mistake at work and it resulted in me looking really stupid. I hate that. I was mad at myself. I made a plan to correct it so that it wouldn’t happen again, however, I stewed about it all day. I don’t like making mistakes and understand we all do, but it was so foolish it just pissed me off.

It resulted in me apologizing for being a dumbass to a few different people. I do think it is important to admit your mistakes, address them and then try and learn from them. 

I could have tried to defend the mistake or lie about it, but what does that solve? Adds a layer of mistrust…which I also hate and isn’t really my style.

I stewed for the rest of the evening and what I could have done differently. I was glad Paul went to bowling. I was a curmudgeon. 

Then I got the news that we are having an insurance issue for Paul, myself and Avery. Good news is that it isn’t Ethan for once. Yay! I anticipate a battle to get it solved. 

I have noticed that as I age, my annoyance for things increases. I try to internalize it because I know it is a me problem. I am annoyed I have to make a call about it. In the past,  have also talked to the lady that I have to call. In the past she has not been helpful. There was a lot of awkward silence as I waited for her to come up with solutions, but she didn’t seem engaged enough to care.

I have decided that I don’t like ER work. I keep thinking about my patients and wonder how they are doing. I have been thinking about the older couple and them wrapping their brains around their dog having a not so great diagnosis. There is no follow up. The animals are sick and then you don’t know what happens to them or their people that love them. I will continue for a while. I do like the people I work with.

Tomorrow is a new day and new beginning.

I did find joy today letting the dogs and rabbit out. Everyone enjoyed a bit of fresh air.