4/11/24

 Paul has been feeling a little off for the past week or so. He thinks he may have Lyme disease. He set up an appointment with his doctor for the morning and had to fill out his pre appointment questionnaire. He started reading the questions and followed them with a stream of swear words.

“How often do you have gatherings with friends and families”

“Are you a part of a club?” 

“How often does the club meet?”

Paul paused and said “what kind of bull $h*t is this question?”  “Why do they care? What are they doing with this information?”…..pause…he lowers his voice “well I see here you are part of a club….” As if that was helping to make the diagnosis.

“How many places have you lived in the past 12 months” for this one I told him to write 365 places. Just see what happens.

As the questions went on….Paul was getting more vocal about his answers and we were coming up with things he could add to his answers to make them more colorful.

Has there ever been a time when you didn’t have a steady place to sleep. “Yeah…when my wife is pissed at me”

“Have you ever had trouble paying your mortgage?” - I told him to say yes and ask if they could pay it for us from now on…..

He had to update his pronoun in which his response was….

“What is my pronoun? My name?”  He asked

“NO! It’s he. You have he/him pronouns….at least I think you do.”

“How many drinks do you have on a regular basis?” This question got him. He may slightly overindulge on wine. He was asking what he should put in there.

“The truth” I said. “100 glasses a day”. Ha ha ha. He was not impressed.

I then came across a tik tok mobility challenge. I decided to try it. I was able to do the challenge smooth with little effort. Then Paul tried. 

“This is impossible. You cheated!” His legs just weren’t flexible. His excuse was “I am just built different.” His efforts resembled a rhino in a tutu…not graceful at all.

We got Ethan sucked into the challenge. He participated and was able to complete the challenge which frustrated Paul even more. 

My bright side was that I laughed a lot tonight. Sometimes being silly is just fun.