11/15/24

 This morning as Paul and I were chatting over coffee I was telling him about my thoughts and things I noticed at the Theresa Caputo show. Paul thought it was very odd the way that I process things in a crowd.

When we arrived, we stood in a line going out the door. I noted that all the doors were unlocked and both sides opened that way in the event of an emergency, we don’t wind up in a situation where there is limited escape. This is something that my father taught me to check when I was little. He always checked to make sure that both doors were open and none were locked. If they were locked he would unlock them. He was once questioned by someone about this and he told them it was illegal to have both doors locked during business hours for public safety. He then went on to tell them he could call the fire chief on the spot if the establishment wanted to challenge it. No one ever took him up on that offer.

As my friend and I found our seats, I located the fire exits just in case we had to make a quick exit. I also scanned the area to find the quickest way to an exit. I saw that there was a row of seats that had no people in it and that was going to be my route.

I also thought about the person that I was with. If there was an An emergency event that needed quick escape and we got separated. How would I react? The situation that kept coming to mind was an explosion or a fire. What would I do?

As we were exiting the event, we were in the stairs well together. The stairs were crowded shoulder to shoulder people. I thought about what 911 must have been like. Those people trying to panic exit the building all on the stairs. 

We were exiting under calm circumstances. There was no emergency situation. All it would take is one person flipping out and bowling down a few people like pins at a bowling alley. Then there would be a domino effect. 

As we were crossing the street, I paused to make sure no person was aiming their car for the crowd of us walking across the road.

Paul said he doesn’t have those feelings when he goes into crowded events like that. I just assumed everyone had those thoughts. 

Those feelings weren’t crippling. I have been having these thoughts for years and years. The planned escape route. The being aware of exits and making sure doors weren’t locked……It was almost like systematic planning. It came naturally and I wasn’t having any trouble dealing with the thoughts. I noticed them, but could move on quickly. I felt like it was more being “aware” or “prepared”.

I am sure it is a coping skill. I don’t like to be caught off guard. Damn Leo’s we always want control.

Always a great morning chat over coffee. 

I felt overwhelmed this week at work and asked a coworker for help. We worked together to come up with a solution where everyone wins.

Another coworker and I put the finishing touches on the presentation I am making. Monday is my practice run. I will probably go through it this weekend and make notes. I think it came out pretty good.

This week has dragged on and on. That never seems to happen with weekends.