Ethan’s Journey

 Day #3 with Mossimo. I started the day with taking the dogs out. It was raining. Penny and Ferguson had a giddy up in their step. Ferguson is stealthy. He tip toes like a dancing fairy in between the raindrops into my garden does his poops and pees lightening quick. Penny just pees and calls it a day. She earns crate time or else she will decide our house is her toilet. We try again later on these days with her. Jiminy uses his potty pad. He was trained on a potty pad and uses it well. I didn’t decide this, he came programmed like this. I hate it, but it works. Especially since he is not built for cold weather or rain….or crates. Mossimo did well today. He met some new people, was less timid, wasn’t lunging to aggressively attack, minimal growling and no barking. We will keep diligently setting the ground rules and reinforcing positive behavior. The weather was not pleasant. I spent a good portion of the day cleaning our house. Deep cleaning! There was rug shampooing, couch cushio...

Full day #2 with Mossimo. I have been studying him to see what his triggers are. It isn’t just men. It’s anyone new. It also seems worse if Moe is in between Ethan or I and said person. It is a resource guarding situation. To combat that, we are trying new things. This morning Moe heard Paul upstairs and did a low growl. To combat that, we took a walk (we still have him leashed anytime he is out of the crate) around the house to look at stuff.  One of the places we went was in our bedroom where Paul was minding his own business. Moe was distracted with new things to see and smell so he didn’t much care about Paul. He didn’t growl or bark. He let Paul approach him and pet him. That is progress. We just have to learn how to redirect him. Moe does fine when Ethan and I are home. The other dogs don’t mind him. We go on several walks around the field. He has graduated to his 30 foot leash for his walks. He walks very calmly and doesn’t pull. I also found that the bark deterrent device i...

We popped over to the lab this morning to get Ethan’s lab work. It took about an hour total which isn’t bad. I am thankful I can take my work with me. I still like to go because they ask Ethan questions like “which tests are we running today?” He doesn’t always know. Today was one of those days. After lab work, we rushed home so he could meet with his therapist. I was happy he shared his thoughts about this new possibility of immune disease. He does feel better knowing he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He shared a few more things and they talked through it. This lady is good because she asks questions without being therapist-y. It’s more conversational. I think Ethan responds better to that. I also got the ultrasound report back from Ethan’s kidney ultrasound. There was a small kidney stone seen. Of course there is! So that’s going to be so fun for Ethan to look forward to when he is starting a new job in 10 days. It’s quite small but it’s there. We have not gotten communication from the...

We met with our new nephrologist this morning. Based on the trends we are seeing with Ethan’s lab work, they are going to do another kidney biopsy in 3 weeks. Last year’s kidney biopsy ruled out rejection. But it did shed some light on an immune system disease that he has. He has a disease with his immune system that is causing his immune system to produce antibodies in his kidney. This triggers inflammation in the kidney. This inflammation lowers the kidney’s ability to filter out toxins, protein and more. Basically, once they confirm it is this issue going on with the immune system and not rejection, they can give medication to slow down the progression of this disease process. The kidney biopsy is already scheduled. Ethan seems to agree that he wants this as a next step. He also has a sense of relief that this is something out of his control. He was feeling like he was doing the right things and still getting bad results. After work, Ethan and I drove to Buffalo to get our new dog. ...

 I felt bad for Paul today. He has stepped into the world of management and is discovering the highs and lows of that position. Today he got home from work and proceeded to have a 3 hour meeting regarding work things. What a long day. He was not able to do the things I needed him to do to prepare for our new dog tomorrow. I wasn’t even upset about it. I just felt horrible that he essentially had no break. I at least made him dinner. Ethan was supposed to get bloodwork done today, but we are going to go on Thursday instead. Ethan’s medication times were delayed because of his ultrasound yesterday and he didn’t want that to screw anything up. Tomorrow morning we will meet with the nephrologist to see what else we can do to preserve the life of this kidney for Ethan. I went down a rabbit hole with reading about potassium binders, Ace inhibitors and more. I am curious what the doctor will do.  While I am excited about getting our new guy tomorrow, I have been anxious about Ethan’s...

We got to Ethan’s appointment on time this morning. He did the fasting and drinking several ounces for water for his prep. He didn’t have any contrast, which is really good for his body. They sent the images off to a certified radiologist analyzing his images. We will learn about it on Wednesday morning.  Lead by example. I have always tried to teach my kids this. To teach it, you have to live it and practice it.  Our elderly neighbor is a quiet and perfect neighbor. He doesn’t complain, he keeps to himself and whenever we see him, he waves and is friendly. We suspect he is widowed. We don’t really see him often. He mows the lawn and stays inside otherwise.  Today I was working and heard him go outside. He mows the lawn around 1:00 in the afternoon. It always has been 1:00. I remember when Avery was a baby, I would put her in for a nap and he would start up his lawn mower. Like clockwork. I heard him just mowing away and then it was quite obvious that he hit something. Th...

 We woke up this morning and Brian and I took the dogs for a lengthy walk. I got to catch up with all the things going on in his life. I really enjoyed the time. We can always share a laugh and I value that. The weather was overcast but calm and pleasant. We had coffee and then it was time to get ready to come home. It then started to rain lightly. Poor Diane made the mistake of licking her keys in her car.  This isn’t a new thing for us. A few years back this happened to a friend of ours. I even got Paul a slim Jim kit. Figures, it was at our house. I ended up getting on the road around noon. I had some things I needed to complete, chores to do and things to prepare for work. When I arrived home with the dogs, Ethan had a friend over. They were sitting on the front porch in the rocking chairs. I liked that they were enjoying them and talking about whatever 21 year old men talk about. I don’t really want to know (but kind of do because it is likely immature and hilarious). Our...

 My brother, Brian, arrived today to spend the night at camp with us. It rained this morning, which was fine, because I needed to clean some things to get ready for 4 th of July week. It rained briefly once Brian arrived and we decided to have a day fire. It was built by us women and burned quite well. We had a table of snacks and we stuffed our faces with junk food. My cousin Andy brought a nose hair home wax kit. He wanted me to help remove his nose hair. He talked Paul into doing it with him. I told him I would heat the wax up but was not willing to pull out his nose hairs. It just feels mean. He and Paul go the wax in their nostrils. They waiting the 2-3 minutes for the wax to dry, and then yanked. Andy’s first try didn’t take. Paul yielded awesome results. He got so much hair, it was crazy. Andy repeated the technique. He is so sick of hair in places he shouldn’t have it. We had a nice steak dinner with lots of sides. Yum! After dinner, it rained again so we went to the neighb...

 Yay! It’s Friday! I made it through work. At the end of the work day, Paul wanted to take the jet ski’s out because the lake was so calm. We rode for about an hour. The lake was pretty calm. We have a little spot we stop at and have an adult beverage. It is peaceful. We saw a goose family take their kids out for a swim and it was so cute. The mom and dad were very attentive to their children. I considered it a gift from nature to witness it so close. We then went to dinner. It was pretty yummy. We then took the scenic route back to camp. It was cool because to get to dinner we had to drive onto an isthmus to get to the peninsula where the restaurant was. It was our kind of speed as the restaurant was not fancy, but delicious. Yes! After dinner, we arrived back at camp and started a campfire. It was really fun because the neighbors joined us. There were 4 of them and we chatted for about 2 hours. It was nice to get to know them a little bit better.  We then sat by the fire lau...

 This morning I woke up and had coffee with my Aunt and Uncle. Camp life is hard.  I took a shower and took the dogs for a walk as my hair dried. I misjudged this sequence of events as the sun was out and HOT. It wasn’t even 8:30 and I was sweating like a whore in church. I sat outside in the shade with the dogs for the next two hours enjoying the dogs, birds and nature’s version of quiet.  I put on my bird app like a geek and caught some new birds that I had to look up. Without a bird feeder, I rely on the trees to lure in different sources of birds. Work was pretty good today. My coworkers keep me entertained in our group chat. I think the are secretly comedians in disguise. I had a leadership meeting that discussed financial well being and how that affects planning, the ability to grow a business and how others are doing things. I enjoy hearing successes and pitfalls of other vet practices and leaders. Paul was working too but also had time to work on the deck we are b...

 Avery’s birthday is coming up. I have collected some eclectic gifts for her, but today, I found something she is going to love. I can’t wait to give it to her. It was so hot today. Working by the lake offered a nice breeze that dried the sweat up a little quicker. I had all three dogs in the lake today for their weekly baths (that were a little late, because we were tied up on Sunday). With our multiple baths and outside time today, all dogs are exhausted and I feed I did my job showing them a good time camping. Of course I got my work done too! Having WiFi at camp is a game changer. I don’t have to worry about dropped calls. I did have one in-person meeting where my hair was misbehaving in the humid air, too bad! Let’s talk about Juneteenth. Juneteenth is a celebration of this day in 1865, the slaves were freed. Imagine what that day was like. I can’t imagine thinking it was ok to have ownership of people. I think holidays like this are good to have us reflect on the past. It is ...

 I had trouble getting going this morning. I think I enjoyed my coffee a little too much! I sat around a little bit longer than normal. I was able to agree on a time next week with the nephrologist for Ethan. That will be priority. I might also ask to meet with a nutritionist that can guide me through the no healthy foods, healthy food diet. One that takes his potassium, medication dietary needs, complicated medical needs diets all into order. I think at this point water is the only safe option. Ha ha ha Avery showed up and did some work from home on the couch while I was doing my work as well. She had some lazy coworkers. They all missed her and planted themselves right next to her. After work, Paul and I skipped up to camp. We are embracing a fairly empty nest for now. It was a nice drive. I was able to work a little longer while Paul drove to shave off some work time tomorrow. It is going to be so hot out. Might as well spend it at the lake. I only have one on camera meeting tom...

We got Ethan’s blood work back. Grrrrr!  After some of my encouragement, Ethan has an ultrasound of his kidney next week to make sure things structurally look ok. I am hoping to meet with the nephrologist soon to see how we can stop his kidney from getting worse. He is holding steady for now, but each time is just a smidgeon worse. I don’t like that direction. He is doing all the right things. His blood pressure is good. He is at a healthy weight. He is active. His diet is the best he can do with his restrictions. Low protein, low potassium, low salt diet. Basically very little fruits, very little vegetables, very little meats, beans, nuts, protein…. But eat a “healthy” diet.  Sometimes he just gives up for a day. Then starts over. This is typically done out of frustration. The bright side is, these appointments are so much easier being close to home.  Ethan went grocery shopping with me today. It was the first time in years. I was of course thrilled. I know it doesn’t me...

 Happy Father’s Day to all the father’s old, new, in between, and passed away. A former coworker of mine lost her father yesterday morning. She is rightfully devastated. It just proves we never know when someone is going to pass away. Make the best of the moments you have. Share a smile, share kindness. Share laughs and make memories. Someday, the memories will be all you have.  I feel so bad for her. The Dad’s gone club is not a club you want to be a part of. I think of my dad often. I wonder what he would be like as he aged. I think he sticks with us and keeps us safe. Paul and I drove home this morning. When we arrived home, our screened in porch door was all busted up. The screen was torn through and there was dog food and bird seed strewn across the floor. We checked the cameras to find that our untidy, damage ridden thief was a raccoon. 🦝 He was kind of cute as he discovered that he hit the raccoon jackpot. DOG FOOD! We keep a bin out there with dog food located in it. ...

 I started the day very early. I woke up around 4 am with a trip to the bathroom. The days of my bladder being able to make it the whole way through the night are long over. I was trying to decide if I should just stay up or go back to sleep. The fresh air makes for good sleeping weather. I tried to go back to sleep. The next thing I knew it was 8:30. Wow! That never happens. I felt like part of the day was wasted. The days here are lazy and include a lot of outside time. I walked the dogs. I like walking them up here because they get to run off leash, smell all the smells, pee on things, and run full blast. Penny especially loves this. She runs full speed, chasing anything that moves.  Ferguson and Jiminy mostly stick close, stopping occasionally to smell something. I totally enjoy watching them. I enjoy the bobolink’s flying around and singing their song. I call them robot birds. To me they sound like robots. They are cute with their yellow heads. As I embrace aging, I enjoy...

 Being at camp is a simpler way of life. There really aren’t any rules besides what time the dogs eat.  There is no set schedule. No set times to eat (eat when you are hungry) and you can take the dogs on a walk as many times as you want. I did work today, but was still able to fit in those important things. We had a NASTY storm last night. I went to bed an about an hour later, I woke up to the buckets of rain pounding down on the roof of the camper. The wind was making the camper rock side to side and shaking it. The lightening dances across the sky in what seemed to be a never ending storm. The thunder was fading in and out pretty quick to the reverberating thunder. Another impressive storm! I watched it for a bit. Then I decided it was time for me to go back to sleep. I turned the main fan on and it drowned out the thunder. This morning I found my chair about 100 feet from where I left it. The dogs had a lot of walks today as well as myself. Another good day!

 The dogs and I had a healthy dose of sunshine, fresh air and quiet today. I sat in my chair over looking the lake. Jiminy sat in his chair too. Penny and Ferguson got their time out in the sun to nap as well. The dogs got to got one a few walks today, of leash. The went hog wild on the roads sniffing everything as well as urinating on what they could. They claim everything to be theirs with a few drops of urine. I am so glad the real world doesn’t run that way. I heard back from the Rescue Group. The Nard Dog will be arriving June 25 th. Yay! I have followed up with Ethan’s doctors for answers regarding his blood work. I am waiting on doctors to respond. I am pretty sure I am developing poison ivy on a few spots of my face. So that’s fun. What a wonderful gift from nature! I am glad tomorrow is Friday.

 I was so frustrated this morning. Ethan and I went to go get his blood drawn at the lab and our wait was 30 minutes or less, which is fantastic. They called his name and he went back. When he came out I asked him “did you do the urinalysis?”  I am not sure why I asked that. He replied “No”. Literally this is one of the more important tests they use to assess kidney function. Since his kidney function has been questionable since last fall, I was really hoping the results of this test would help me leverage pushing for more testing. I waiting in line to ask the medical team sitting behind the desk. They looked in Ethan’s file and let me know that all of his urinalysis tests that had been ordered were “used up”.  It’s not their fault. They can only run tests they have orders for. We were told that he had standing orders. Ugh! I was frustrated with this because we specifically went to the lab to get tests done to evaluate Ethan’s kidney function and one of the main tests tha...

 I slept so soundly last night. I went to bed at 7:30 ish and woke up after 6 am. I slept all the way through and I don’t think I moved. I was in hibernation mode. When I did get out of bed, all my muscles were stiff and taunting me for sleeping well. I guess that is the trade off. Avery is enjoying her research program. I have been asking her for pictures so that I can document her career growth and send them to her one day when she is a fancy scientist. She finally sent a picture today. She is such a goofball. It did make me laugh. The brakes on our camper are broken and we won’t be able to move it until we get it fixed. Paul just needs to venture North and work on it in the 1000 Islands, which is where it is parked.  Boo! We lost out on our upcoming trip this weekend. We are still trying to decide what our plans are going to be.

I was excited about leaving at 5am instead of 6 am this morning. That was an exciting gift. I tip toed up the stars and crawled in bed. I promptly fell asleep for almost 3 hours. It was deliteful.  I had to send an email to someone that I don’t particularly like. All of this person’s moral character is executed to specifically only benefit themselves. Ugh! This person reached out and needed my help. I could feel the sickly sweet fakeness ooozing out from each word.  Why? Why do people have to act like this? If you want the answer to a question, ask it.  “Hi, I hope you are doing well” -no you don’t! You need something and are usually a jerk. Now, suddenly today you hope I am doing well? It went down hill from there and their ending was “best” and then their name. Bragging in their sign off? Are they stating they are better or dare I say “the best”? Typical. My response back included factual answers and information. Not “I hope this email finds you well.” It’s not that I a...

 I woke up at 3:00 am. I was thirsty. So thirsty. I am not sure maybe I didn’t hydrate well enough yesterday but I downed a large glass of water. THEN, I laid in bed eyes open thinking about working at the ER tonight as well as the things I need to do today to prepare for my weekly Monday meetings as well as organize myself for the week. Wait, did I take my anxiety meds? I find if I wake up in the night thinking like this, I forgot to take my anxiety medication.  I love that there is modern medicine that quiets down those inner thoughts available at our finger tips. I am the dummy who forgets to take them sometimes. Now I am mad at my yesterday self. I could have prepared for these meetings on Friday, but I focused my time in other areas within my scope of work. It really boils down to I made a decision not to work on it Friday and here I am. I made this bed for myself, without my anxiety medication on board. Yes, I (and my family) can tell if I miss a dose. Can you say chemic...

 I was having an emotional morning with nerves and anxiety questioning our decision to add to our pack/family. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. It is easy to add a smaller dog when Phineas was the big dog. But now we aren’t adding a small one, we are adding a bull dozer. It has to be the right bull dozer. My gut was twisting with the “is this the one?” Question echoing in my brain like a broken record. I finally decided that this decision was going to be made with facts and intuition but not on cuteness or desire to fill the void. Those were the boundaries I put in place for myself.  Yes this is a family pet BUT really everyone knows that I am making the decision. That is just how it goes as a family member of a Leo. PLUS….it is my area of expertise. If something goes wrong (like my biggest fear, Jiminy gets hurt) I have to carry that horror with me on my shoulders alone. That is a big responsibility that I don’t want anyone else to have. “Are we doing the right thing?” “Is no...

 We had a spectacular thunder storm today. There was hail. There was a monsoon down pour, there was thunder and lightening! Ethan had gone into one of his jobs today and wasn’t home. He was PISSED! He wasn’t seeing the storm where he was. I sent him a few videos of the forceful rain and the hail balls bouncing all over. I was so excited for a thunderstorm. I had to stop working  and watch the show Mother Nature was providing.  The storm passed and I went back to work but it was a good one. Storms like that are not as much fun while camping. But today it was so fun. I was so thankful it was Friday. I am looking forward to my day off tomorrow. I have an appointment to meet a dog that resides in South Carolina currently. This is a 4 year old dog.  He is friendly but I was told today that “he failed his cat test.” I have no idea what that means. This afternoon he was having a chihuahua test. We will see what the results are. We were so spoiled with Phineas. It will be in...

I did a lot of work today that required thinking and I am exhausted. I hit a brick wall around 8 pm and suffered through it for a half hour. Why? No idea. In my leadership group we are discussing financials. I find it so interesting, but I always have. I like collaborating with lots of smart people on what is working and what isn’t. I can’t really apply it as I am not running a hospital, but I can share with others that are.  Sharing knowledge is important. We need to help those around us grow.  Avery came home this evening. We went into Hilton to run a few errands. It was nice to pal around with her for a little bit. She likes her job. Her professor complimented her on how well she was doing. Avery is figuring things out like how to change an automatic payment for her credit card and budgeting, which she is doing quite well at. Yay! She’s a pretty cool kid! Gotta go shift shaft to sleep. Nope, not getting old yet.

 I worked outside today. I was out for at least 6 hours before it started to thunder. My lazy coworkers were at my side. Theo, the rabbit was snuggled under a bush close by after eating my mums. He was fat and happy. My per diem work got cancelled for next week. That’s ok. It frees up how I will spend my weekend 😊, always a bright side. Why is Jiminy so cute? He is perfectly imperfect! He enjoyed being outside today. Ethan found a baby red winged black bird. It was learning how to fly. It kept hopping around Ethan. The parents were chirping at the baby warning it how dangerous Ethan was.  Paul came home and was telling me about a micro learning he is doing for his work about “shift shafts”. I made him say it again. Seriously? Who named this part in the car? I find the names of car parts hilarious and sometimes inappropriate. Dump valve, crank shaft, black box, bleed nipple…I mean really? We laughed about the ridiculousness of the shift shaft’s name. Maybe it was just me laugh...

Today was fairly leisurely as I had steady work but was not overwhelmed. Most of the rest of my couch cushion covers arrived, exciting! That is where the excitement is these days. I placed them on and so far, they look fairly decent considering. I am hoping this helps save me some time in the future. I took the dogs for a walk Twice around the loop of the field. I am enjoying the sweet smell from the wildflowers that dances in the air as I walk. It is so fragrant and pleasant. Paul had a frustrating day. Then he got home. He ordered another part for his broken jet ski. He had it overnighted and it did show up, however, it has the wrong part. There was a lot of unpleasant words coming out of his mouth about it. I did what any good wife would and suggested we got to Abbott’s and we both have ice cream to make HIM feel better. I would eat the ice cream as well in hopes that could help him in some way. Not a selfish suggestion, only purely to help him. Did I mention he is lactose intoleran...

 Happy Monday. My Monday was jam packed like it always is. I had my 3 hours of meetings. I had a hair appointment to color the old out of my roots. Avery came home for a surprise visit. We did a quick lap around the field with the dogs. They love it. We chatted away. Who am I kidding? I loved it. She is moving along nicely in her research project. She did some “grocery shopping” in our cupboards. I was excited because half of my couch cushion covers arrived. I started to put them on. They are soft and cozy. They seem to stay put for now. What a thing to get excited about.  I saw a video of the kid, Jacob, who had a heart transplant and a stroke so bad that he lost use of the left side of his body. It was the most favorite part of my day. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. He just received a portion of his skull back about 10 days ago. Today he was walking out of the hospital. He had a can and a significant limp but he was WALKING! It made my day....

 I am embarrassed to admit that my house has really taken the back seat to life. I mean we have our roomba that vacuums 3 times a week, but I have not been mopping as much as I should or dusting…forget it. We just live with it.  Our house had a smell this morning. I have a power nose but could tell the smell was filth. It wasn’t necessarily my plan to clean all day, but that is what happened.  Ethan and Liam buddied up this morning and went outside. Their other friend came over shortly. I threw the dogs outside along with the rabbit. Everyone was out and I started to deep clean the living room. Everything was washed. The couch was steam cleaned, throw pillows outside to air out while I washed their cases. Laundry was done all day long. Are we really ever “caught up” though? We are actively dirtying clothes every day. I let my sheets hang outside for a few hours to pick up the scent of the great outdoors. Dog bedding, blankets, towels, sheets everything! Even the dogs. The...

 Still nothing from the dog rescue. The dog we would like is still on the website though. Annoying! Today was a leisurely day. Paul was away, Ethan was away and I had the house to myself with my little pups and bunny. They all had outside time. Penny is still a bit sore from her vaccines. I have given her NSAIDS around the clock. Poor little lady. It seems to be worse when she’s tired. If she is busy, she forgets all about being sore. I needed more yoga pants for my bottom half work attire. No one sees them if I am on camera, so I might as well be comfortable! I headed over to Goodwill. I found some and was delighted that I was recycling. It’s the little stupid things like that where I feel I am doing my part. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I had to drop something off to Avery so I gave her a quick hug. I couldn’t stay though. I had frozen food in the car. I did more meal prep to use up ingredients in my fridge that were going to go bad. I did some light cleaning and sp...