Ethan’s Journey

​I talked to Avery today. She had me cracking up.  We talked about ridiculous things and laughed about them. Paul arrived this morning. The dogs were so happy to see him. He had to sit on the couch with them for a little bit just so they could all sit on his lap at the same time. Work seemed to snowball into a mess. It casted its web in my day. It is a good feeling to snap the computer shut on a Friday afternoon. Sarah and John arrived with their dogs. I took Moe, Jiminy and Penny for a walk up the road. Ferguson was sleeping. Penny was barking so much at Sarah’s dog that she earned herself a sedative snack. Moe and Jiminy walked nicely with Sarah’s two dogs. Everyone minded their business and got along well. Yay! Today was work frustrations sprinkled with communications from the transplant team and social services. Ethan’s blood pressure is creeping up which is a side effect of one of his medications. His team increased his dose of blood pressure medicine.  He also had a chan...

​ I think about all the hellish mornings spent trying to be the first one to the shower to reduce the amount of hair found in the drain at the hospital. Just wanting a clean-ish shower. Worrying that if I wasn’t the first person, the air could be contaminated as I removed my mask for 15 minutes a day to clean myself. Worrying I might bring Covid back to my healing kid. My morning now is so much better. I told Avery for years I wanted a remote job for my sanity. I feel like I have hit the jackpot. I enjoy work. I enjoy it even more with a beautiful and peaceful office. I am so grateful. Ethan made a YouTube video where he shared his feelings about how things have gone for him the past 6 years. His constant stress about his health, the constant worry he isn’t as far along as he would like to be…. While I don’t love his excessive use of the F  word, he expressed how he feels and the challenges he has faced from his perspective. https://youtu.be/hj4Usa_yxTk?is=1KPVGei12-we_tFs He recog...

​My friends are funny! This morning I had a friend reach out saying that she, like Moe yesterday, was airing out her crotch. She also works from home and said “Business from the neck up and party on the bottom.” This made me laugh. I appreciated the laugh and the cleverness! I do appreciate silly humor. Can you imagine if people acted like dogs? “Hey how are you doing? Can I smell your butt?” Ridiculous! But my immature humor laughs at the thought. Or can you imagine just dropping your butt and dragging it across someone’s floor? Mid conversation, dropping trousers and scooting? Ha! Gross! It was SO windy today. Poor Jiminy was not impressed with walking in the wind. It was 22 miles per hour and I am sure it felt like hurricanes strength to him. I had some light sprinkle off and on but not much. The wind was more problematic. The wind rearranged the brush pile I had stacked neatly. I had taken the branches I cut off and piled them neatly by the fire pit. Tomorrow I will have to re-stac...

​The geese were ballsy today. This is my current drama. I sent Penny out to chase them off of our property. She did a great job! Good girl Penny! No sheets or rape whistles needed ha ha! The weather was a little stormy today. I enjoyed the few rumbles of thunder we had but most weather seemed to go “up the river” and miss us. We had off and on rain but plenty of time for the dogs to walk up the road. I was finally able to look up the information Ethan’s heart team was looking for in my blog. They were seeing a spot of non-movement in his heart that was concerning but after discussing things with them, it appears to be residual from Ethan’s stroke and clots in his heart after transplant.  I can’t remember all the details and was thankful to my 2020 self for doing this. I made a large pot of spaghetti that I plan to nibble on over the next few days. Some of the meals went in the freezer. Moe had silliness in his bones today. He was sleeping soundly with his legs spread open. He was a...

​Paul set up my bird feeder that alerts me when birds are eating. The birds have all told their friends about it and I have been enjoying them feasting on the open buffet we provided for them. Mama killdeer was on the road I walk the dogs on, with her babies this morning. She began squawking at me as soon as we started up the road. I cut the walk short so that I wouldn’t stress her out. Paul was worried last night because he asked me if I locked the camper door. I was in bed and had forgotten to lock the door. “No” I said.  “What if someone tries to get in while you’re sleeping.” “I am not going to get up at this point! I assure you that Moe will not let that happen.”  If someone was dumb enough to try to break into the camper with 4 dogs, they deserve the dog attacks they would receive. Survival of the fittest!  Also, MY first line of defense is biting. It causes a nasty infection and then dental records can be used to match the wound up to my teeth. I will be able to fi...

​today was a much sunnier and pleasant day than yesterday. We started the day with coffee of course, and one by one people started to go home to get back to reality.  I feel quite lucky that I am able to stay up this week with the dogs. I embrace alone time. It helps me think and process things. I checked on the killdeer babies this morning. The three babies that hatched were gone as well as their eggs. Baby number 4 was still trying to hatch. I was concerned this little thing wasn’t going to make it as it had started to hatch the day before and was still in the process. I checked back a little later and this little fighter was hatched and sitting alone. Mom was not in sight. Mom had been quite involved with the babies so I thought this was a little weird.  It was making soft killdeer noises and they were so cute. As the day went on, I noticed mom was attending to the newest baby. She would periodically disappear then come back. At one point I went up the road and saw the mom ...

​The weather was unfortunate for a weekend at the lake. However, a little bad weather isn’t going to get us down. Through the different showers we had, we were still able to enjoy the outside even if it was under an awning. The dogs got a couple walks in between the rain events. We listened to music, chatted and laughed remembering things from childhood or early adulthood. I checked on the Killdeer eggs. Two of them had hatched….OMG! It’s happening!!!! I had to get photos and share the news with the neighbor whose yard they were in. They were kind enough to protect this little family with cones, so no one ran over the nest. They are born with all their feathers and with the ability to forage for food on day 1. I kept peaking in on them. The babies are doing well so far! I will feel better when they are out of their road. What a crap day to be born! Nature is fun to watch! The afternoon was full of music, sitting and chatting and snacks! Just the kind of Saturday Paul and I needed. We w...

​I had to get the heck out of Dodge today. This week has been a lot! I left for camp about 5:15 am. The dogs were pumped. Moe was my co-pilot and made sure everyone was safe the entire ride. Anyone we passed walking on a side walk or crossing the street, he gave them his best hairy eyeball stare! Dario is doing great! However, he is navigating the world of what is considered a fatty food! He is gambling with his diet and will learn quickly what will cause catastrophic diarrhea (seat gripping diarrhea) and what doesn’t. He is on a low fat/ high fiber diet. Fruits and veggies as well as lean meats. I did a grocery order for them and Paul picked it up this morning. Ethan asked Paul for direction on how he can help prepare the barn for a concrete floor. Paul gave him direction and is delighted for Ethan’s help.  Paul also had a rough week. He was present to help his dad and step mom through this medical ordeal. He realizes they need help but they aren’t ready to accept that yet. I arri...

​wow! I woke up extra dumb today. It’s a “lack of sleep” hangover. I made it through yesterday but today….I needed coffee stat and hoped like hell I could become somewhat functional. I followed Ethan to work to park his car there. The plan was to condense vehicles and pay hospital parking for one vehicle.  On our way to drop off Ethan’s car, Ethan tried to straddle a dead, gross and bloated raccoon with his car. There was a car in the other lane so he couldn’t swerve. His tailpipe hit the raccoon and sent it swirling and twirling behind him. I think I barfed in my mouth. Ugh! Gross! Luckily it didn’t explode. 🤮 As I was following him, some guy waiting to pull out, honked at Ethan and gave him a thumbs up for his super Supra. He said he gets a lot of people appreciating his vintage ride. We got to the hospital on time. Parking at Strong Hospital is a bit of a disaster. We got the farthest away parking spot ever. I told Ethan walking to the hospital counted as his exercise today. We...

​my father in law was finally seen by a doctor. He was in pain for hours. The doctor came in after midnight. It turns out he has gall stones and needs to have surgery to remove his gall bladder. They started him on antibiotics. It then was after 1:00 am and they weren’t sure if he would have a room by morning. I took Joanne back to her house around 2 am. I told her that if she wanted to have a sleep over, there was a better way to go about it than this. It made her laugh. She is very anxious and I tried to lighten the mood. I explained that in the grand scheme of things, a gall bladder removal is a pretty good ailment to have. It can be treated. Once treated, he will never get another gallstone. It wasn’t cancer. It wasn’t a bowel blockage that would require risky bowel surgery. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, this one is best case scenario! I got a quick 2-3 hours of rest before getting up and heading back to the hospital. I dropped Joanne off with instructions to grab b...

​Ethan took a beating with the heat today. I had the house nice and cool for him when he got home. He was pretty bummed about having to pay the $12,000 back. He is quite stressed about it. I tried calling to set up a payment plan for him. Even though I am listed as an advocate, they still need to talk to him directly! Annoying! He is also upset about the Medicaid and how he is supposed to pay for his medications as well as testing. He will now cut corners. I know it! My father-in-law wasn’t feeling well. I drove to their house and gave him options of what he could do. He had already gone to the ER earlier that day but left after a 3 hour wait. We went to a different emergency room. We have been here since 8:30 pm. I am the driver. It is 11:30 now and he has been taken back, gotten his blood drawn and an xray. He still has not been seen by a doctor. I have a tooth that needs a filling removed and replaced at 8 am. Tomorrow is going to be a long day with back to back meetings with a numb...

​Today was the start of our multiple transitions at work. I spent very little time on my own new stuff and more time helping my team mate that is taking over a couple of my territories. The next few weeks will be full of over helping and training. There is just so much to share. I can’t imagine walking into this job right now. I feel sorry for her and want her to not get overwhelmed. I like her.  By 7:30 Moe was begging to outside AGAIN! He wants to lay in the sun. He was driving me a little nuts with his requests to go out so frequently.  Avery called me this morning.  “Mom, is now a good time to talk?” She said  “Yes it’s a great time!” I answered.  She shared she was feeling an overwhelming amount of anxiety at her new position. She feels like she doesn’t belong. She feels like everyone else seems to effortlessly do their work. She second guessed herself even though she knows the work she is doing is solid. Her advisor has praised and encouraged her from the ...

​Sunday is departing day. I decided to enjoy the day and stay longer.  The lake is warm. I don’t say things like this. But it is true! We went out on the boat. Sarah and I also took the paddle boards out. The lake was smooth! Sarah found a duck that I hid in her camper last year. He he! Speaking of ducks, my nephew is moving out of his apartment and found a duck I hid there almost 2 years ago. He texted me about it today and it made me laugh! We swam around in the lake for a while. I like to get a tube and just kick around. It’s great non-weight bearing exercise. Craig took the boys out fishing. John didn’t catch anything yesterday. Today he caught a small fish. Sarah felt sorry for him and used AI to make his fish much bigger. What a good wife. I finally left a little after 3. It is a little over 3 hour drive. Apparently, spending the day in the sun makes me tired. When I got home, I unpacked. I headed to bed around 8:00. 

​Another beautiful day on the lake. Sarah arrived. We sat in the double tube and chatted for part of the afternoon. We went on a couple walks. For dinner we had wings done to perfection on the grill, pizza, garlic knots, grilled veggies and salad. Yum! After dinner, we took a jet ski ride around Fox island. We parked at a cute little cove and had a beverage. We got the fire started and watched another beautiful sunset. There are so many monarch butterflies around. I might have to look for the caterpillars and try to bring one to Ethan. He has always enjoyed watching them go through the process and change into a butterfly. There is a killdeer nest on the road. Killdeer are cool birds. They are kind of dumb in that they build their nests in gravel where people and vehicles could accidentally smash them.  But so smart that when you go near their nest, they run away and fake a broken wing, to lure you away from the nest. Earlier in the day, Paul took a beer out of the fridge and set it...

​today was my day off. Yay! It started to shape into a nice morning. I watched the geese and their geese children swimming happily. Their little butts were wagging back and forth.  There is this poor single mom duck with at least 20 babies. You can tell she is tired, but being the best Mom she can be. She was diving, showing the babies how to do dive for their food. She also was running on water. Those babies would run on water right behind her. It made a slapping sound. I find the noise of 20 baby ducks running on water….delightdul. Paul and I took the jet-ski’s. We went to a beach that we have dubbed “Walmart Beach”. We hung out with some neighbors. In the water and had some beverages in the sun. We call it “Walmart Beach” because a lot of the people look like the people of Walmart. We then took the jetski’s up the river almost to Clayton. It was a wonderful temperature and the river and lake were so calm. When we got back we went out on the paddle boards, went swimming and I bat...

Look at this goofball laying in the sun!  Is it just people from New York that refer to Pennsylvania as “PA”? This seems to be the only state we do this with. We don’t “I am driving through VA” for Virginia. So weird the stuff we do. I woke up tired this morning. Coffee was barely a help. I plugged through the day longing for a solid nap, but no nap came my way. Boo! After work, we visited on the neighbor’s deck. It was overcast with some grumbling in the sky. It sprinkled for about 5 minutes or less. This week’s weather has been exceptionally great! I was talking all day long with my trainee. I really like her. Her training wheels come off Monday. I set up a few meetings throughout the day on Monday with her to walk through any questions she may have. On Monday, I am walking away from Hospital Managers I have worked with for 4 years. Bitter sweet. After work, I visited with the neighbors. We shared stories that were funny. We realized it was WAY past dinner, so Paul and I took a m...

​I made it through another day at work. Looking forward to this weekend and a visit with Sarah. Phil left today. Ethan plans to leave tomorrow. He wanted to go on the antique boat. After work, we headed over to Clayton, NY to the Antique Boat Museum. We got a special invite to ride on the Zipper. This boat started being built in the 1940’s and took about 30 years to finish. It had a smooth mahogany body and was 41 feet long. There was an interior part to the boat. The bathroom and extra seating was there. We went around grindstone Island, went up, passed over to the Canadian side, went under the thousand Island bridge, looped around and came back to Clayton hugging Wellesley Island. The sights were amazing. It was a 360 degree view of awe and nature’s beauty. There were such big a beautiful houses. People with more money that I will ever make in a lifetime. Afterward we had a late dinner at a local restaurant. We were all quite tired when we got home (a little after 10:00….way past my ...