6/24/24

We got to Ethan’s appointment on time this morning. He did the fasting and drinking several ounces for water for his prep.

He didn’t have any contrast, which is really good for his body. They sent the images off to a certified radiologist analyzing his images. We will learn about it on Wednesday morning.

 Lead by example. I have always tried to teach my kids this. To teach it, you have to live it and practice it.  Our elderly neighbor is a quiet and perfect neighbor. He doesn’t complain, he keeps to himself and whenever we see him, he waves and is friendly.

We suspect he is widowed. We don’t really see him often. He mows the lawn and stays inside otherwise. 

Today I was working and heard him go outside. He mows the lawn around 1:00 in the afternoon. It always has been 1:00. I remember when Avery was a baby, I would put her in for a nap and he would start up his lawn mower. Like clockwork.

I heard him just mowing away and then it was quite obvious that he hit something. The mower stopped. I then heard nothing. I rushed to the window to see if he was ok. He was. Just as I got to the window he was starting the lawn mower again.

Ethan walked in the house from the garage. I told him about the trouble our neighbor was having. He is well into his 80’s. I told Ethan that we had to go and see if we can help.

He paused “Do I need to put a shirt on?” He was working on his car shirtless. He didn’t want to be rude. I told him “no”, we are going to help in a casual way.

I have been frustrated with Ethan in the past for not being thoughtful. His question was thoughtful. We occasionally talk about how terrible he used to be. How miserable he was. How hurtful he was. He has no memory of it. Isn’t that weird? He has always been pretty truthful and I have no reason to not believe him.

Anyway, our neighbor was really stuck. We told him we were there to help. Ethan and I tried pushing the mower from behind. We tried pushing it from the front. Ethan and I had to work together to get the mower rocking hard enough and we got it unstuck. Yay! Our neighbor shook my hand with a tearful thank you. We talked about the neighbors that used to live in our house. He thinks Paul does a wonderful job with our yard (he really does). 

He was talking to Ethan and Ethan was talking back, not just grunting. Yay! 

As Ethan and I walked back to the house, I was telling him about how terrible it would have been for that man if we hadn’t helped. There was NO way he would have gotten that lawn mower unstuck on his own. He would have had to call someone, wait until they could come and help all while waiting to mow his lawn.

One thing I do enjoy, is working from home allows me to think and mull things over. Ethan has made HUGE progress in the past year with his attitude, his thoughts of others and his gratefulness.

I started doing reading and digging. I have maintained that Ethan’s stroke left him altered. He has displayed immaturity in the past, which he was at a pivotal age when the medical clouds blew in and rained medical disasters all over him. Was it normal aging? Was it his medication? He was such a jerk!

The more I was reading, the frustration we felt as he was being hurtful over the years, or unsocial, not saying hello to people when they said it to him, not being thankful and sometimes being quite rude and extreme self centered behavior started to make more and more sense. 

We wanted our kid back. We wanted him to be the same and it simply couldn’t ever be that way due to circumstance.

People that suffer from a traumatic brain injury (stroke) have behavioral dysregulation, depression, anxiety, mood swings, and have trouble remembering. It has taken Ethan a few years to work through it. Once I read this, I felt silly for the frustration and anger I had towards him over the past few years. Of course he was healing. I just wanted it to be immediate.

I am happy with the progress he has made. I wish I had been more patient. 

We got confirmation to pick up the new dog on Wednesday afternoon. We got some paperwork on him. There is an age discrepancy saying he was younger than they told us. We don’t really care though. Originally they told us he was 4 years old. Today I got a paper that said 2 years old. Either way, he will be loved.