Ethan’s Journey

I left for the airport around 6am. Jason was so nice to drop me off. He is such a great kid. I am proud of him. It took about an hour and 20 minutes to get through security. Ugh! Luckily I planned well and it was no problem.  I had some nice man help me by lifting my bag into the over head compartment. He also lifted it down for me. He was my angel today. His wife was super nice too. The flight was flawless and I made it to the hotel with plenty of time to do some interviews. I was able to check in my room early! YES! I scheduled an Uber to the place where my event took place. It was on a college campus. I met one of the Practice Managers that I hire for there.  The event I was participating in was “speed interviewing”. Basically we met with many vet tech students for a short amount of time .We had such a successful event. I was pleased with the turn out from the students. I love seeing theout growing their careers, talking to people and excited about it. Meanwhile at the Diiu...

Today was another beautiful day. Jason and I had our coffee watching the devastation happening just an hour west of us. It is absolutely horrific what damage has been done. Not only physical damage, I can only imagine what long lasting traumatic effects have been left on people. Any time it rains or there is a chance of a storm, I can’t imagine how scared they may feel. We went and met up with one of my sorority sisters for brunch. I had not seen her in at least 22 ish years. Funny thing was, we picked up like no time had passed. After a few hours at brunch, Jason and I headed over to check out a park. It is called Freedom Park. It was a cute little park. As we were walking up, I saw a green lizard darting across the pathway. I tried to catch it so that we could be friends. It ended up jumping on me. Awe…it wanted to be my friend too. It was a highlight. Not as cool as being bit by a camel, but close. We watched the ducks for a bit. They were cute. We saw a gimpy duck. She was a lady. ...

 Despite the fact I am in North Carolina, thankfully we are far enough east that we are out of the hurricane yuck! Today was warm and sunny. The sky was bright blue and it was cheerful out. Jason and I went out on his porch to have coffee. We were laughing and chatting. We got ourselves ready to go to breakfast. He took me to a cute  local farm restaurant known for their yummy chicken. When we arrived there with our hungry bellies, it was closed. They didn’t open for another hour.  Went to a mall that was close by and walked around there. Then Jason suggested this antique place at an old Mill close to the train tracks. YES! When we walked in, it smelled like an old building. The floors were wood. I could picture them a a rich tone back in the day. Since they were walked all over everyday, they had lost their shine. The were worn down by many feet scuffing on them over the years. There were cool antiques. There were also things that were “vintage” but couldn’t possibly be ...

 Jason worked today, as did I. He came home to visit at lunch. We chatted for a bit and back to work he went. The weather was questionable this morning. The trees were rocking back and forth pretty decently. The rain was assaulting the windows. The tornado warning went until noonish. After lunch, the weather cleared up. The rain stopped. The sun came out. It was beautiful out. I went out on Jason’s covered balcony and worked in the fresh air. It was delightful. After work, we went to dinner. We sat outside at a brewery called BJ’s brewery. I wanted to get a shirt but they didn’t sell them. I was not mature enough not to snicker. Jason drove me around and showed me where he works, the NASCAR complex, where all the racing companies are etc!  He showed me their version of the fanciest grocery store. To be fair, this store had flower boxes on their cart returns. We stopped at their version of Aldi which is called Lidl. We picked up some ice cream treats there.  We came back t...

Ethan had another monarch hatch out. He released it and we watched it flutter away into a tree and land on a leaf.  We have 2 more left that need to hatch out and then our monarch days will be done until next year.  It has been fun!   This hurricane has really caused a lot of  extra   planning. I was supposed to fly out tomorrow morning to get to Charlotte to see my nephew, Jason.   As I was looking at the weather, it looked like there would be rain today, with 10 mile an hour winds OR 12 hours later…..tomorrow, rain with lightening with 25 mile an hour winds. I made a call to Jason. I was able to quick change my flight to 12 hours sooner. I got my things together, finished up work and headed to the airport. The airport was a ghost town. There was hardly anyone there. I think they had two gates operating out of the 24 there. We were supposed to leave the airport at 8:38 pm, but the crew boogied and we were in the air by 8:25 pm. They had shortened our fligh...

I found a dog food puzzle at Goodwill. It was brand new, still in the box. You put food in it and the dogs have to move flaps and slide knobs in just the right combination to get the treat. Each dog had their own turn with the puzzle. Jiminy was the quickest to figure it out. Ferguson was a close second. Penny had a bit of a learning curve. She finally figured it out, mostly. Moe….well bless his heart, he did not understand what the puzzle was. He started just gnawing on the side of it, like a doofus. So I gave him a scavenger hunt with some of his food, throwing it in the yard and having him sniff it out. We all have things we excel at and things we don’t. I went to physical therapy today to learn all the exercises I need to do for the best case scenario to avoid another back surgery. My physical therapist was personable and remembered Ethan. She recognized the last name. He had not been there in 3 years. She remembered how thin he was and his story. After collecting a history, she th...

Today we met with the psychologist again. It has been agreed that Ethan fits the criteria for a selective norepinephrine uptake inhibitor. This is likely due to the traumatic brain injury sustained by the stroke causing Ethan’s brain to have difficulty focusing on tasks.  The more she was talking, the more things fell into place regarding things Ethan has been doing that have been different than pre-transplant. Certain behaviors, losing things, lack of organization, and of course difficulty concentrating. Because of Ethan’s complex medical issues and his renal function declining, a meeting has to be had regarding the benefits and risks of Ethan being treated for this imbalance. We will meet again in a couple weeks. I did share my frustration with our nephrologist’s seemingly lack of interest in hearing Ethan and his concerns, as well as my own. I will not apologize for asking questions in a polite, collaborative way. Even if the doctor is dismissive and acts like our questions are ...

I started work early so that I could finish early. I wanted to meal prep for the time that I will be away. Work went well. I have a few unexpected pleasantries to reward me for it being Monday. I was able to prepare 18 meals. Meat loaf, rice and chicken as well as the chicken mixture for lettuce wraps (the PF Chang recipe) YUM! Tomorrow is the psychiatrist. I will meet Ethan at lunch to see how things stand with his questionnaires.  It was kind of yucky out. There were no walks today. The dogs didn’t seem to mind. Penny acted like today was the equivalent weather to the arctic. She was shivering and very dramatically chilly. I had to wrap her up in a fluffy blanket. We received the cutest dog bed from my dogs fairy god mother! This fairy god mother sends little presents to the dogs here and there. They love it. It is the cutest little dog bed. They each took turns laying on it.  Moe was confused at first and was carrying it around in his mouth. Silly boy. Moe decided to take t...

 I slept in today. Paul is up at camp and not around to snore me awake.  I met my brother and sister in law and my mom and Gene for breakfast. It was a buffet at an Italian place in Brockport. I thought it was yummy! I hadn’t participated in a chocolate fountain in a while.  Brian and Kristen stopped by Avery’s work to surprise her with a visit. I think she liked that. I fed the donkey’s and goats. I bought some famous Zarpentine apple fritters bites. Ethan spent the day at a car event with a buddy of his. When he cane home he was resting on the couch with Jiminy. He loves that little dog so much. Jiminy just snuggled right in with his Ethan. Jiminy was not a planned dog. He was a gift of healing that we didn’t understand at the time, but man, we are so thankful he is ours. I did a lot of back resting and walking in the field with the dogs today. I have noticed that I am not quite as painful as I was. Yay! Penny suckered me into letting her sleep in the bed because she wa...

I learned a new hilarious term this morning. Did you know we all have a flagina on our bodies? A flagina is the awkward piece of skin between your thumb and pointer finger. You better believe I am going to educate anyone I can about this new piece of trivia. I have been planning on how to work this into my conversations. Now you can too! Don’t believe me? Google it. No joke! Ethan woke up as a curmudgeon this morning. He barely spoke and just was miserable. He went outside and started working on his car. He was pissed when he got home last night. He went to look at a car with his buddy, his buddy wanted to buy it. He came home grumpy! The only glimmer of joy I saw from him is when Jiminy followed me upstairs and wanted to go in Ethan’s room. I placed Jiminy on Ethan’s bed. His face lit up and he cutsie talked Jiminy and let him snuggle. After talking to him today, he had wished there was more communication on where his buddy was looking at the car ahead of time. Not knowing caused him ...

I am glad it is Friday. It has been a long week. I ended up postponing Ethan’s neurology appointment. Mostly because he needs an MRI to see if that mass in his head has grown or changed. I suspect it has not. We were running out of time to get that scheduled before the appointment. Ethan had more pressing medical needs this summer. He is 2/3rds of his way through his apprenticeship. Once that is completed, he is hoping to get hired on with the actual company as he is currently a contract worker/student. I am hoping he will have more flexibility at that point. I realized today that I still need to finish the parent forms for Ethan’s ADHD questionnaire. Our next appointment is on Tuesday.  My goal is to get it done tomorrow. I started it, but never finished it. I think my back is getting a little bit better. I am not experiencing the sharp and crippling pain when I make certain movements like I did before. I still have slight sciatic pain but it is nothing like my flat Patti days. I ...

I tried to listen to a pod cast while I worked today. Nope! I get so distracted, lose my train of thought, unable to focus and get frustrated. I was reading the same sentence 6 and 7 times and still not able to retain it. I even was reading it out loud so I could hear it too. This has followed me my whole life. I am not sure why I thought today would be different.  We humans are weird with our quirks. I am not sure if we develop more as we age OR we just become more aware of them. I am enjoying the pet tracking device on Moe. Thanks Cheryl. It is a fun toy. Basically it shows me where Moe is all the time and also keeps track of his fitness like a Fitbit. It is called Tractive. It measures his speed, he tops out at 17 mph. I want to put it on Penny because she is fast too.  But the areas of red he was running! He went hog wild. This was on our walk around the field. It has gotten me off my butt and moving too. Since I am not sitting, I can walk to pass time. The dogs love that ...

 I made my physical therapy appointment tment for next week. Yay. I was set up with my follow up appointment. I have been super careful with bending, twisting and lifting.  I ordered groceries online, picked them up and the boys brought them in. I am doing things that I can do while just standing or laying. Luckily walking is not bothering me. So I continue to walk the dogs. They love it so much. I actually have fun watching them have fun. Other than that, today was pretty straightforward.

 I drove to my appointment today. There was a lady telling me her whole life story in the waiting room. It wasn’t a very good life as addiction paved the way for her for several years. She started crying. She was 4 years sober. As they called me back, she wouldn’t stop talking. I basically had to walk away as she was mid sentence. I felt bad, but then told myself she was not picking up the social cues that it was time to stop talking. My appointment with the surgeon went well. Basically no lifting, bending or twisting for 6 weeks (I have been avoiding this already). I have to start physical therapy and already called for an appointment but the office was closed by 3 pm. I am being sent for an MRI which I am thankful for. It is nice to have a picture of what is going on. If things have not improved over the next 4 weeks, they likely won’t without surgical intervention. It’s basically a crap shoot. So I will continue to stand or lay and avoid sitting. I will continue sleeping with my...

 I called the neurosurgeon’s office today. The first available appointment in Rochester, was in February. Yikes. 😳  I asked if they had any appointments at their Canadaigua office. They had an appointment in January, so I took that. I was disappointed and came to terms that I would have to hobble along until then, but have done this in the past so I am just going to suck it up. I don’t like when they ask me to rate my pain. I feel funny comparing back pain to multiple broken bones. How do I say my pain is at a high level, when the person with multiple broken bones is clearly suffering more. I work standing up. By the end of the day my legs and feet are tired so I lay down.  I did only one loop around the field today. But that is more than no loops around. I sent a message through MyChart, just to see if there was any way to be seen sooner. I know it is a long shot, but if I don’t ask, it’s a 100% NO. A little while later I got a call. It was the lady from the neurosurgeo...

 I woke up kind of early. No one was up, so I decided to take the dogs on a lengthy walk to tire them out for the car ride.  We went back to the spot that they mowed trails in the field where the warblers were nesting. They thought it was great the run through the trails full speed. Even Jiminy was running.  It proved to be a successful activity. They were all quiet in the car. I arrived home mid-day. Both kids were home and did all the lifting, unloading and moving all the things out of my car for me, to save my back. I did some light house work and then prepared for my work day tomorrow.  Avery was getting ready to leave for work. I gave her a hug and she was on her way to make the big bucks! Tomorrow morning we have the people coming to start paving our driveway. Yay! We will be parking in the lawn for a number of days. Ethan didn’t really chat much today. That’s fine. I take the conversation when I can get it. He did release the one monarch over the weekend. We h...

What a beautiful day! The sky was blue. The sun was cheerful. The company was great. Paul and I took three of the dogs for a walk. Jiminy stayed back, napping with his friend Ashley. We walked up a hill to a pond. The pond was smooth and you could see the reflection of the scenery crystal clear. We walked around the pond and entered into the trails in the woods. The trail weaved and turned. The dogs thought it was an exciting adventure. I friend great joy in watching this. We then walked to this spot that had a great viewpoint. A few of the trees showcased their vibrant rainbow of colors. With the goldenrod in bloom, the scene had a healthy dose of yellow scattered across our view. It was a decent walk. We let Moe off leash. He runs like a dope, but seems so happy doing it. We had a steak, potato and corn dinner. Yum! We chased that down with peanut butter pie. We listened to each others stories about different embarrassing or weird situations, sharing laughter.  Laughter has power...

I officially put in my resignation at the Emergency Service. It was the nicest phone call. Their leader is such a nice and caring person. He did offer me alternative positions that would be less labor intensive which I thought was kind. I declined as I am going to focus on healing right now. We headed camping this weekend to Naples with some good friends. It is pretty. The campground is small, only one loop. Not a lot of people are around, which I like. The dogs enjoyed walking around and they will get to explore more tomorrow. This is Moe’s first trip to a campground. He did pretty good. We enjoyed an evening around the fire sharing laughs and commenting on how old we have become. We made notes on things that have changed since we have aged. We did manage to stay up past midnight….which is impressive. I am looking forward to exploring the area tomorrow.

 Today was an exciting day. I had some good progress at work. My back has not gotten worse. And the weather was so nice. I was able to do my walking (the only exercise I am approved for and encouraged to do). My first exciting piece of news was that we found the missing caterpillar that escaped from the monarch enclosure. It had turned into a butterfly. Ethan found the butterfly in the kitchen fluttering about when he got home from work. We shared a laugh as this was something we joked about was going to happen. Look at his smile! We wondered where the chrysalis was.  Where has it been hiding the past 2 weeks? After looking all over, we found that it had been hiding in plain site. It was on the ceiling in our kitchen. Who knew? We have a chrysalis that is in progress right now, another caterpillar getting ready to go into chrysalis and then on small caterpillar that has a ways to grow. Ethan also showed me how to sex the monarch.  My second exciting piece of news, with fa...

 I decided that I was traveling down the same road that I did when I needed back surgery. I scheduled an appointment at my GP. They are referring me back to the neuro surgeon, and they sent me for an x-ray. Nothing showed up on x-ray (which it typically doesn’t) except my normal degenerative facet changes, moderate narrowing of the disc space…which can all be a problem with inflammation. I am going back to my neurosurgeon to see how to proceed. I don’t have an appointment yet. For now I need to avoid things that make my back hurt. But also make sure to walk and do things that I can comfortably do. I am avoiding lifting, bending, twisting, and stairs as much as possible.  The bottom of my foot is hot and it feels like there is a lump in the middle of my foot. Nerves are wild!  I was prescribed a medicine to “help” with pain but it really helps me sleep and then I don’t notice the pain. Win /win! I had today off and spent the day doing things I wanted to do…except go to the...

 Today we had a meeting with a psychiatric nurse practitioner. It was a little over an hour. She collected Ethan’s history. He was telling her that he now has trouble concentrating and has very vivid movies in his brain that are distracting.  These movies aren’t scary, just vivid and distracting idea/scenarios that keep him from concentrating. He has to overcompensate to eliminate mistakes at work. We were given homework and the psychiatric NP also had some homework to do. We will meet up in 2 weeks and go from there. As we were talking to her, I had an overwhelming sense of pride for what Ethan has been able to overcome. He was really depressed and angry at one point. He has been hopeless, anxious, and withdrawn. He has come through it  and grown from it. He is thriving with this job. He has his friend group that is genuinely nice and thoughtful, but immature and silly young men. Perfect and age appropriate. While the appointments seem to be endless, I do feel like we ar...

 Happy Monday. It wasn’t a bad Monday! I worked a little late because I found the groove I needed to get lots of things done.  Tomorrow Ethan has an appointment with his psychiatrist to discuss how his brain is processing information. He is feeling like his learning is a bit different after his transplant than what it was before. It really came to light when he started this new job/schooling for the machine shop. He has trouble focusing, especially with all the math involved. We are going to check it out as it is something that has become troubling enough for Ethan that he has shared his frustration about it multiple times. Plus I am feeling like it wouldn’t be normal if we went one week without an appointment. I didn’t push Ethan to get his blood drawn this past weekend. That will be a this coming Saturday thing (hopefully). Luckily, Ethan seems to like this new job. He is liking the people too. Bonus! Liam stopped by again tonight. He and Ethan are doing boy things like swap...

My back has graduated into only hurting when my hip gets tight. Solution….stretching the crap out of my hip. It also gets sore when sitting. So I have avoided sitting today. Ethan needs to report his wages to the social security disability office. We have already given access to the SSA office to view his paystubs to confirm his earning amounts TWICE! I keep receiving notice that he is going to receive more than he should and if the information is not correct (which it isn’t) we need to log into his account online and update his wages. Friday, I logged into his account, I got an error message that says I am not able to use the function on the website and that I have to call.  But wait! There was an option on the website to request a callback. Sweet! That seems logical, then they can call you and you don’t have to be on hold for HOURS. What a great idea! When I clicked on that, the service was “not available”. When I called, there was “unusually long wait times”. The automated messa...

 Today I rested my back but was also able to see Avery. I brought her a gift from my cousin. It was a nesting doll duck. Each little duck got smaller and smaller. She was delighted with each little duck and it was so fun to watch. Her laughter and delight with each smaller duck was so contagious. I was able to see her suite and meet one of her suite mates. I also took over some “business card” sized cards with cute pictures on them. On the backside I wrote down funny memories, funny words, little family sayings and then hid them all around her dorm room. I also brought some packing peanuts that I drew faces on and hid those as well. I did this last year and it was so fun.  She would find them and they would make her laugh. The best part…I forget what I wrote and she sends me a picture…then I laugh because apparently I find my own humor amusing. We didn’t visit for too long and I went back home to my heating pad and flat. Did some stretching but mostly resting. After a while, E...

 Yesterday in my leadership group, we focused on boundaries. I feel like I have a pretty decent grasp on setting boundaries for myself in preserving my energy. However, when I was listening to the leader talk about boundaries the homework assignment was to find ways to improve self-care. I have been trying to think of ways to improve myself care. I have been stressed because my back has been so sore. Then it dawned on me. I need to call in and not work on Sunday night. Normally, this is a foreign concept to me. I don’t call in sick to work. I power through my pain and I continue to work, but why? Why am I putting myself through this torture when I’m not feeling well? My advice to somebody in my position would be to stay home and rest and heal, so why do I hold myself to a different standard? After much deliberation, I decided to send the email into my boss at the ER, establish my self-care and set my boundary. One of the hardest things that we learned about setting boundaries is ho...

The return of Flat Patti is here. I am at the age where I hurt myself sitting yesterday. Seriously! I was flat for the majority of the day. I was on the heating pad, with occasional moments where I forced myself to walk around, stretch, do my exercises and then back to the couch. Riveting day! The bright side is that I have work to keep me occupied. I did my meetings, phone screens and everything laying down.  Ethan’s cold is holding steady. His nose alternates between runny and congested which is annoying. But no fevers! Yay! I did have a sense of relief today. Ethan’s heart is doing good. He picked up the medications he needs to support his kidney and heart. He can start that tonight. Fingers crossed that the back snaps itself out of this nonsense!

I woke up with a headache. It’s appointment day. I slept terrible and my back hurts. This is the point where…if Avery were talking I would ask her to point out something positive. My positive was that I had the day off. Of course Ethan’s “cold” has thrown my brain into overdrive. I spent the night planning for “what if’s”. My plans have plans. I make plans to control something I have no control over. I made a work plan, a dog plan, a house plan, a food plan all “just in case” Ethan has to be admitted.  I would insist on staying in the hospital with him. I understand that isn’t allowed…gotta make a plan for that. I came down stairs and asked Ethan how he was feeling. He said he was feeling ok, but his throat was sore. Ugh! I took his temperature with two different thermometers and had him check it too for a third time. All were normal. Yay! Triple sure.  He was eating normally and chatting up a storm so I believed him that he felt ok. He went to work and I kept myself occupied ...

Ethan woke up this morning, he had a husky voice and sounded congested. He officially has “a cold”. We have been warned about colds and how they can get out of hand quickly. If there is a fever, we are to call the transplant team. We are NOT to go to the emergency room as it is not a great place for the immunocompromised. Ethan went to work and when he got home he looked so tired. He reported he did not have a fever and he had been taking Tylenol, pretty much the only approved medication for him that isn’t prescribed. I walked the dogs around the field and found him on the couch, covered in a blanket, fast asleep. He was in the sitting position, but asleep. He was snoring a little bit too. Good! He needs his rest. He has flat out refused to let me call the doctor as he is worried they will want to admit him and he will lose his job. He is worried as he has missed a couple of days for his biopsies and had to leave early for his appointments. We talked through that this is serious. If he...

Paul and I came home from camp today. It was nice to have an extra day without work. Yay! We tackled our house, myself on the inside and Paul on the outside. Ethan was super helpful and was almost done mowing when we got home.  All the dogs got a bath, clean bedding and an extra walk. In between dog baths, there was LOTS of laundry.  I harvested my crop with some tomato’s. They are so cute! I cut them up and put them into a salad. They were pretty yummy. My bird feeders were low, I filled those. You know, dumb and boring adult work. My sciatic nerve became all angry with me. This evening, I was laying flat, trying to stretch things out. The good news is that it is brisk out, and great sleeping weather. I went up to bed before 9:00 pm. My bed helps to alleviate the pressure of my sciatic nerve. Usually once I rest for the night it feels a little better. I can’t overdue it too much. I have to work Sunday night. It is best if I go in feeling well. That shift is hard on the body. ...