Ethan’s Journey

 I found it difficult to concentrate today. I have all these ideas, thoughts and worries. I am worried I am missing something. I don’t trust this nephrologist completely. I am feeling like there is something I am missing and am unsettled. There is just so much to juggle with Ethan. We have an appointment next week with the seizure/stroke neurologist and Ethan’s therapist. I do feel the need to research different rejection medications, however the heart team is rock solid and I trust their recommendations. I did ask about switching nephrologists, which we still may consider. I don’t love doing that in the middle of testing as it will delay EVERYTHING!  I feel angry that I have to take on learning all this extra stuff because I shouldn’t have to. I have an overwhelming sense of responsibility to steer this kid in the best direction. I know Ethan’s food preferences, so I tried to come up with flavor blends that he may enjoy, but don’t have a lot of the bad stuff. Rice is going to...

 This is what my stress management looks like. I am controlling what I can control. I woke up thinking about today’s appointments. Immediately I needed to deep clean the couch. I needed to vacuum the cushions, shampoo them, vacuum under them and set up a drying system with a series of fans. I must be efficient! I felt the need to do it quickly and efficiently even though that really doesn’t matter. I wanted to make sure I timed the laundry appropriately so there was no dead time in between loads. Even though it didn’t matter. This is how my anxiety rears its ugly head. The first appointment was hilarious. Ethan used the kiosk to check himself in. We had already checked in on the app. It was asking him about his pain level, ability to do things, exercise, mood etc. The annoyance remarks he was making were top notch, professional level! There was heavy sighing, lots of under the breath swearing and it took him about 10 minutes. I told him to answer the questions the best he could. On...

 I brushed up on my chronic kidney disease reading. I jotted down ideas and questions I would like to discuss at Ethan’s appointment tomorrow. I will pick Ethan up at his job tomorrow and take him to his appointments. Paul failed well today. He said he had very minimal pain from his cavities. Yay! Today I had to call National Grid. I wanted to add Paul to the bill because he gets the notifications about our service (I don’t) but can’t talk to anyone about our service. I had to go through several people before getting to the correct department. It took about a half hour. I had to state my name and account number multiple times. It felt like I was trying to get to top clearance security information for the government. Nope, just National Grid! If the was the worst of my day, I did well!

 Back to the grind. I had a busy day after being away for a few days.  Back to back meetings all day long. My brain was scrambled. Paul had THREE cavities filled today. Ouch! He failed to let me know about the appointment. When he casually mentioned it, I asked what his plan was to pay for it. I scrambled to get him added to our care credit account. Ugh! Poor planning! I don’t love that! I tried to convince Paul that his cavities are due to drinking wine. I teased him that his dentist was going to tell him to stop drinking wine, to which he responded “I am not going to do that!”  It was worth trying to mess with him! My little shadow, Jiminy, clung to my side. He followed me any time I moved. He was so tired this evening from his activity. But not too tired to be cute!

 Happy Birthday Nana! We celebrate Nana’s birthday this Wednesday at the steakhouse. I was exhausted this morning. I woke up after 8:00 am. This is almost unheard of for me. Avery left her wallet at home and asked if I could bring it to her. Of course I said yes. The delivery will include hugs and smiles. Paul and I went out to breakfast with some friends. It was a nice breakfast with great company. I cleared my entire plate it was so good. 🐷🐽 Paul then left to go snowmobiling with his buddy for the rest of the day. Ethan had a friend over. He and the friend took turns riding the other snowmobile around the field and towing each other on the sled. They were acting like teenage boys. After breakfast, I took Avery her wallet. I parked illegally so I could just run in and give her the wallet and a quick hug. Avery has been quite busy at school. I text her here and there just to let her know she is on my mind. I like to get a feel for how she is juggling things and her anxiety. ...

  I must have been tired. I woke up at 5:00 but didn’t want to stay awake. I ended up closing my eyes “just for a minute” and woke up at 7:30.     I needed that! I did some work and got myself ready for the last day of the conference. My coworker called in a panic. Her mom went into the hospital and she felt torn. She wanted to be with her mom, but felt horrible for leaving me alone. I am very capable of handling things by myself and strongly urged her to leave. She felt so guilty. It really was not a big deal.  I ran into a girl that works at a clinic my friend, Patti, works at. (I told her to say “hi” to you Patti). Such a small world. I met some veterinary technician teachers that were interested in me presenting to their class about how to build their resume. I enjoy doing that presentation to students specifically. I like to show them terrible résumé’s. The worst of the worst. I try and make it funny, but informational. I packed up our booth and headed to the ai...

 This morning we made it to the convention center with plenty of time to spare. I even ran into a few people I used to work with and chatted with them for a bit. Small world. The exhibit hall was quite chilly again today. The bathrooms were basically kept at tundra type temperatures. I did not dilly dally in there. We had some good chats sharing what we can offer and getting information to help support our fellow vet people in their different stages of their career. I did offer my dogs up for research on a dental product that is being developed by a chemist. I offered free feedback on client perspective of ease of use, palatability and reporting back results seen. We will see how that goes. He was working on a product that incorporates hyaluronic acid into a water additive to help heal things like gingivitis For dinner my coworker and I went to a tavern. The food was yummy and priced well. It was quite loud. I felt like an old lady complaining about the volume of the music. It did ...