Ethan’s Journey

 Ethan had a sore wrist and sore spot on his neck where they accesses his artery and vein respectively from yesterday. He said it wasn’t too uncomfortable and proceeded to work today. Tough kid! Paul and I worked remotely. Jiminy was my lazy coworker today. I worked a half day today and that was glorious. I need a couple days away. I am always more ambitious when I have been away. By the way, it wasn’t cold when this picture was taken. Jiminy really enjoys being very warm! This evening, we enjoyed a camp fire. There was a bit of a breeze, but it was a nice breeze. After dark, I really enjoyed the deafening bugs and breeze combine. It is so quiet, but so loud. Loud in an enjoyable way. The stars were bright and twinkly tonight. There wasn’t a lot of light around. It made all the sky’s stars sparkle even brighter. These are the gifts we sometimes miss or don’t appreciate, from Mother Nature. Gifts hand picked for us, but life distracts us from them. Watch the bee pollinating the flow...

This morning was long just waiting to leave. I immersed myself in work. That helped. I wasn’t as aware of each agonizing minute tick by…one by one. Ethan and I made our way to the hospital and it seemed like everyone else on the road was driving like a maniac. Cars were turning out in front of us, cutting us off, tailgating….it was kind of a survival of the fittest situation. There may or may not have been some choice words. For some reason, when I am driving, I feel like I am the best driver on the road. Which I know is ridiculous, but I know I am not the only one who thinks this way. We arrived and always take the stairs from the parking garage. We had to take the green elevators to the ground floor. We arrived at 12:30 and Ethan was taken to the back room. He got his IV and fluids to help support his kidney with the contrast they had to give him. He has to have his kidney function tested in a week or so to make sure it didn’t do any damage. This seems like an act first, ask for forg...

 Today was uneventful. I mailed in Moe’s Invisible Fence collar to be adjusted. How did it get to be the end of August already? Ethan and I went over the pre-appointment directions about when you can and cannot drink, eat etc. for tomorrows procedure. Ethan was pretty bummed that his procedure would be at 1:45 pm. It will be a long day for him. He was thinking out loud and said that he is frustrated because this is NEVER going to go away. Nope! It sure isn’t. Sure it is much better and we are so thankful for that. At least we don’t have to drive 6 hours for these appointments. That was difficult. Those were long and lonely days. We find out results next Wednesday afternoon. I am preparing to try and have fun this weekend “just in case” we get unpleasant news. I am going to try and keep my two cents to myself so that Ethan can really take the reins on his care.

I woke up so exhausted, that I was suffering from mental dullness and the inability to think. I am not sure what went wrong but my brain checked out last night. Once I had some coffee I was able to get it together and do some work.  At one point, I felt chilly from our air conditioner. I let the dogs out and gave them a scavenger hunt. I was in a meeting and when it ended, I only had three dogs instead of 4. Moe had vacated the property and was no where to be seen. He had his collar on with his tag, his invisible fence collar and his microchip. I looked around for a while but 45 minutes later, I had to jump on another call in a few minutes. I used those minutes to order an air tag for Moe’s collar so I can at least find him. My doorbell rang and to my surprise, it was my good friend and my dog! Of course she was going to find him.she is an animal magnet! She said he had traveled 3 doors down (probably at least a 1/4 mile) and was running in the road.  As soon as she asked him ...

 Back to reality today. I slept on the couch. Mostly to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep so Paul’s alarm wouldn’t wake me up. I heard Ethan and Jiminy come down the stairs. Ethan was very quiet. He was tip toeing around, didn’t turn on any lights and was as quiet as possible with doors and drawers. I let him know I was up. He said he was being extra careful so I could sleep and worried he was being too loud. I thanked him for being so thoughtful. Those were acts of kindness. I was so appreciative of him trying so hard. I told him the fact that he was trying so hard was evident. Even though it was such a small thing, it meant a LOT to me! My interviews started at 7:00 am. I had solid back to back interviews for the majority of the day. I had an hour of time in the afternoon where I could use the time as catch up.  I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. I decided to succumb to my body’s wishes and take a quick nap. All the dogs gathered around me and snuggled and I fel...

  We finished up at the conference today. Short and sweet. I think we did well with what we had to offer and the conversations we had. We had friendship bracelet making stations. I met a lady that was a female architect that was winning an award for her veterinary hospital design.  As she sat across from me, she talked proudly about the clinic that won this design award.  As she carefully placed bead by bead onto her friendship bracelet, she told me about all the efforts that happened to make this happen and she had never won a design award before. She was beaming. I thought about how awesome it was that this lady was trail blazing a path for women. I asked her when the ceremony was. It turned out that t was one floor down. She walked away and I was just so proud for her. As the time got near, I snuck down to where the ceremony was. I didn’t realize that it was a special lunch. I didn’t have a pass to get in. I suddenly became a photographer for the event. I found her, sa...

 I had this really powerful conversation today about what people say vs. what their actions say. I was telling this person that the way someone treats people is far more powerful than what they say. Actions speak louder than words. I feel very strongly that you can judge someone’s character effectively in this way.  It was a nice reminder to be thoughtful of my own actions and how I want to represent my character. There is always room for improvement. We had another successful day at our conference. I spent time with several different people and was given great ideas that I am excited to share with our group that I am hoping can continue to improve our system and make a difference. I had two margaritas at two different facilities and enjoyed each one for different reasons. Yum! These are like my dessert. Yum! When I got back to my room, I got sucked into a show that was just ON the tv when I walked in, about cellular memory for organ transplant recipients. It is such an intere...

 Today was a successful day. I connected with someone that was struggling in vet med. They broke down in tears as they described their volatile working situation. It is a situation that I remember being in at some point in my career. She was contemplating leaving the profession all together. It really isn’t sustainable for them. After sharing my story with her, we shared a hug. Myself and another coworker pledged to her we would do our best to place her in a better situation. She walked away with hope. It was the best feeling ever. I really enjoy doing this job. It makes my soul happy overall. My team is pretty awesome and so different. I also picked up some goodies for the dogs and maybe one thing that screamed “Avery”. There was a happy hour that we participated in. We went to a yummy BBQ place for dinner. We sat outside and the locust were screaming. The constant high pitched buzz was one step below deafening. We came back and had drinks at the hotel. It was really good team bon...

 I sit down at the airport and see this sign. Is there an overabundance of fungal infections being spread at the airport? Damn it! I should have brought Ethan’s left over fluconazole! My flights were pretty standard and boring, which is what I prefer. I arrived to Kansas City and went to the exhibit hall to clean and set up. Once we got the business out of the way, it was time for the play time. We went to dinner at this cool bar/dogpark. It was a dog park with a bar/eatery attached. There was a double gated system that you can bring you dog to, to play with multiple other dogs, play with endless supplies of tennis balls, got into water. Areas, jump on ledges and hopped around chasing one another. Occasionally there was a scuffle, but for the most part, the dogs got along. There were at least 30 of them. It was impressive! We chatted the evening away. It is a bizarre concept to work with people but never see them in person. We had a fun evening talking about non work items. That ba...

 I am off to the airport tomorrow. Paul gets anxious when he travels. I travel well but have “inside my brain” anxiety. I try to hide it so no one knows.  I asked Paul what made him anxious about traveling. He said it was the hurry up and wait process. The process of getting through security, standing in lines, finding the right location to be, dealing with cancellations. I think I am abnormal, my anxiety comes from the people. Not the number of people, because I do enjoy quietly lurking and watching them. My anxiety comes from what they are doing. I think about all the butts that have been on the seats I am sitting in. How many farts have happened there. How much bacteria is on them. Anytime someone coughs, I envision tiny droplets of their toxic plague migrating to my lungs.and turning me into a vehicle to transport a cesspool of illness. Each cough heard makes my eye twitch as it rings in my ears. I typically hold my breath as long as I can so I don’t breath it in. This isn...

Ooofffffff! I will be glad once this election is over. I am so annoyed with the people that feel it is their duty to name call, shame, and talk down to others on social media and in public, for sharing their political views. I long for a world that if people want to kindly share who they are voting for and why, that’s fine.  We can all agree that we each have opinions. You likely are not going to change my opinion (my family says I am stubborn but I don’t see it). I likely won’t change yours. Let’s just not even go down that road of negativity.  Here is a fun concept I wish the world would adopt. IF you read or hear someone’s opinion that you may not agree with, just be kind. “Thank you for sharing that.” Or sometimes that means not saying anything at all. Thank you for attending my soap box speech. My body was hurting today. All of it. Aging sucks. I did some exercising and stretching this evening. That didn’t off the relief I was hoping for. Moe went crazy this evening. He w...

 Paul worked from home with me today. I bet he won’t make that mistake again. I spent the day trying to annoy him and succeeded. Whether it was moving his coffee cup so he couldn’t find it….or mimicking his voice in an unfavorable way or even asking him questions that were so dumb. Paul “This guys last name is Tester” Me: “What would you make his nickname if he were in your high school?” Paul “I would call him testicle.” Me: “That is what I was thinking too…..Do you think that is why we stayed married so long?” We just had silly conversation throughout the day. I also made him watch a few funny reels. Ethan got home from work. He was quiet and gave short one word answers which signals me to stop conversation.  I made dinner and asked him if he wanted some. He came down and gave himself a heaping plate. After that he seemed to be more talkative and even was playing with the dogs. He was laughing at them too. Dogs…they are just great therapy. Avery is still tent camping and I am...

 The rain last night was fierce. It let up this morning for me to walk the dogs, grab my coffee and walk over to Lois and Craig’s for coffee. Then it was back raining again. While walking the dogs, I saw a lone goose floating in the lake. I quickly came up with a story the she was separated from her gaggle because she is introverted and needed alone time. Now they forgot to do a head count when they took off without her. So she floats alone, peacefully,  not overly upset with the situation. I became annoyed with the rain and rushed Paul to get on the road for our 3 hour trek back home. Once we got on the road, the weather was cooperative until we got home. We then had off and on torrential down pour throughout the day. Paul and I puttered around the house getting things ready for the week. I pulled up my suitcase to pack for my trip to Kansas City.  I kept busy to keep my mind from worry about the up coming tests for Ethan. I am glad Kansas City will keep me distracted. I...

 We had an EXTREME downpour at night last night. It was so LOUD. We were at the grey dot below. Our for asr was supposed to be rainy and overcast. Once again, the weather there is a curve ball with weather that was sunny, pleasant with a little bit of lake wind. But NO rain. I took the dogs for a walk this morning. We did a little over a mile. Penny and Moe were running ahead and I would call them back, just for the exercise.  There really was NO shade and as we were finishing our walk,I was very aware of how humid and sticky it was out. I threw on a bathing suit and jumped in the lake. I took a lake bath. I think it was best for all  involved. My lake bath was a welcomed break from the heat. Paul was like a tornado blowing from one project to another. He enjoys this. We sat outside enjoying the sunshine. There was a bit of a breeze, but it was warm out and the breeze was not a big deal. Craig made us Manhattens for happy hour. I learned a rule the hard way, never say yes...

 The water was SO CALM TODAY!  Paul and I hurried up to finish work early so we could get out on the water.  Lois and Craig took me and the dogs to Wilson bay. Paul road the jet ski. The water was mint. No waves, smooth, warm and excellent conditions for swimming and hanging out.   We had a few drinks and all the dogs except Jiminy went swimming. Moe accidentally popped my tube. No worries though, we will patch it.  The dogs LOVE going “out on the boat”. I made them all swim. Penny and Ferg both got a lake bath. Jiminy had his hat on to keep the sun out of his eye as well as his life jacket. When we returned, we cooked dinner. We sat outside over looking the serene lake while we ate. After dinner, Paul and I went out of the jet ski’s for a cruise. We were able to maintain a steady speed of 45. We were able to go faster too. My jetski was cruising at about 75 mph at one point. I love to accelerate quickly. It feels like you are on a roller coaster. The bugs whip ...

 Today was beautiful and sunny. I worked outside the majority of the day. It was wonderful. We had a nice breeze so it felt comfortable all day long. Jiminy was micromanaging me while I was working. His little camp chair was set up right near my computer and he was napping while I worked. He’s such a delightful little guy. I had my leadership group meet today. One of the things we talked about was giving out praise/ showing appreciation. Who doesn’t love that?  How often do I express my appreciation to someone? Could I do more? Certainly! It was a good reminder to be thankful, and to be verbal about it. I try to verbalize when I appreciate things, but there is always room for improvement. After work, Paul and I took the jet ski’s out for a ride. The lake was fairly calm. We took off and decided to go to Wilson bay. As we came around the islands, the waves kept growing. We were almost there. The waves then transitioned into 3-4 foot waves.  We were SOAKED but the water was...

 I slept horribly. My sciatic nerve was pissed off at me, I had a terrible headache and was nauseous too. This all started around 2:30 am and I was up for the day. Paul and I got on the road about 5:15 am to drive to camp. Today we had a big tree taken down. It was a staple tree but had to go due to its size and condition. Our landscape looks completely different.  It was a little bitter sweet. I have pictures of the kids in that tree. That tree has been in my pictures, offered shade and I have trimmed the new growth on that tree. I remember it as a kid how pretty the sun sets were. I remember looking through the branches at the sun setting behind what we called the “W” tree. It was fun to watch the methodical way this gigantic tree was taken down limb by limb. Once it was done, this company cleaned up so well you couldn’t even tell they were there. It was impressive. Avery packed for her camping half week she is spending with a friend and their family.  Today I found ano...

 Today I submerged myself in work. I enjoyed digging in and doing my thing. My day started with back to back calls at 7am sharp! Luckily I had my coffee and was ready to go! Avery is picking up hours at the farm. She did 2 hours of raking and built up her farm girl muscles. She came home and promptly took a long nap. Ethan got home from work and said his day was “good”. He has gone from 5 people in his program down to 2. So he is doing pretty well! I had the dogs with me. Moe seems to be doing his dog job of keeping the house safe. He has a loud and commanding voice. He barked at the neighbors lawn mower when it hit a stick and made a noise. He thought that was very threatening. My power nose can smell dog in our house. I deducted it was Moe. Time for a bath. Moe has not cared for baths in the past. He didn’t like lake baths, hose baths and so I tried a bath in the shower…maybe warmer water was better? He flipped out and started choking himself. As we were working through the situa...

Today our Phineas would have been 16 years old. We sure do miss him. We now he is still keeping us safe. Miss you Phin Dog!  I poured myself a generous cup of coffee. I talked to Avery for a bit as we are moving her into her dorm. I started feeling overwhelmingly guilty about not logging into work. It was 6:30 am and to be clear, I need to work 40 hours a week. Yesterday I worked for 4 hours. I typically work 10 hour days logging far more than 40 hours a week. Not because I have to, because I do find this job fun. I like the hunt. I like helping the practices find the right person. It is a fun challenge. Why was I feeling so anxious about not starting right away? If anyone came to me with this issue, I would think they were crazy. I would tell them “you don’t owe any more than 40 hours a week. Put those thoughts right out of your head.”  Why can’t I take my own advice? This is nonsense As I was thinking about it, I asked myself why I felt I didn’t deserve to sit and enjoy my c...

 Paul and I came home for a quick visit. Our drive was mostly fine except when the sky opened up and was not only raining cats and dogs….but cows and horses too! It was so noisy driving that Paul and I couldn’t really talk….until we drove under a bridge. Then we would have 1 second to shout something out. Unbelievable. We walked into a clean house that smelled like candied walnuts. Avery must have lit a candle I thought. Avery was baking a cake for her friend. She made the cake, the frosting and with the leftover batter, she made cup cakes. Yum! It smelled amazing! What a cute little baker she is! Her friend is lucky! I am lucky too! She cleaned everything up when she was finished. She is really becoming a wonderful and thoughtful human. She drove it to her friend’s house and visited with them for a little bit. Ethan was excited to see Jiminy. He snatched Jim up and they hung out for the rest of the evening. Ethan was on a video call with his buddy.  My sciatic nerve was screa...

 Today the men worked on a project to wire electricity to the boat house as well as a hook up for our camper. Woo hoo! We haven’t been without power, we just will now have our OWN power. We are making progress on this little slice of heaven. It was quite windy! I was able to sneak in a few walks with the dogs. I had Penny running back and forth multiple times. I was trying to wear her out. Ethan went to multiple car events and Avery went to an art show. It is really cool to see them operating as adults amongst society. They are finding their joy in the things that make them happy. Yay! As I took the dogs for their final walk, I came across a caterpillar. It was a monarch caterpillar. I am bringing to Ethan to take care of.  He had another butterfly hatch a few days ago. We had a wonderful dinner and the dessert of home made ice dream. Yum! We moved our campfire out of the wind. (We used the portable campfire). We enjoyed that for a bit but then went inside and watched tv. The ...

Today we got spanked with remnants of hurricane Debbie. Rain, rain and more rain. Rain at camp sucks…unless you are working! I was able to walk the dogs in periods of sunshine. I ushered them outside quickly for a potty break. All the rain was done around 5 pm which was Happy Hour and I participated. Yay! We ate dinner and I took the dogs for a lengthy walk. Moe decided he loves running through the field. He likes the soft massage of tall grasses and wild flowers.  All I could think of was all the ticks he was going to pick up. Luckily he has an oral chew and collar to prevent ticks. So fingers crossed, he will not get ticks or Lyme Disease. Moe has graduated to off leash most of the time. I have been training him on invisible collar as well as the zap collar. He is doing quite well. We had a fire and sat around chit chatting. The wind started to pick up. I have all the windows open and am excited to sleep in the cool windy breeze.  

The alarm went off at 4:30 am. Ride and shine…even when you feel dull. Paul and I got ourselves and the animals ready to travel the three hours and change to camp. Most of the truck was packed last night. We put the last minute items in the truck and away we went. We arrived at camp before 10 am. Jiminy was excited to go to camp! It was sunny for our drive but we knew the rain was coming. We both had meetings to attend so we didn’t care much. The awnings were out providing Mossimo with a nice dry place to spend. When the rain and the meetings let up, we went for a long walk. All pups were running amok. Yay! They were tired when they got back to camp. I was able to work while Paul drove. This is ideal for me as it passes the time AND allows me to focus on the things I need to focus on. After the rain let up, Paul and I sat in rocking chairs overlooking the lake. Ahhhhh…this is why we work so hard. Work hard, play hard! Moe sat with us quietly, off leash. Tomorrow is a 1/2 day…yay!

 Paul did great today. He was a little nervous because he has never had a sedated procedure or anesthesia before. I played some relaxing music on the way to hopefully help his nerves. Grateful Dead -Knocking on Heaven’s Door came on. To lighten the mood, I changed the chorus to “Knock, knock, knocking on Paul’s back door.” Paul was not impressed by my musical genius. Of course, in the waiting room he ran into someone he knew from college, a fraternity brother in fact. Of all the places…. After the procedure I was baby sitting groggy Paul. The doctor came in and I asked him if he found Paul’s head while he was in there. He said “no” and groggy Paul said “well apparently it’s still up there then.” He has no memory of this. The nurse gave him a choice of cheese crackers or peanut butter crackers. After much thinking he said “yes, I will have crackers.” I asked her for the peanut butter ones. He LOVED them! I had pizza waiting in the car for him when he was done. He chowed down and sai...

I haven’t been sleeping the greatest. I woke up early and agitated at everything. I feel like the wind is out of my sails a little bit. I realized that I am feeling like there isn’t much in my control right now. I had the immense desire to clean the house, because that is the only control I have. I asked Avery for help. She came to the rescue and did the dishes, cleaned in the den and helped settle those nerves that were making my eye twitch. We went to lunch with my mom and had a really yummy meal. Avery came too. It was a nice lunch. When we got home, I called Ethan’s doctor’s office. I am feeling uneasy about the test results from last week and want to make sure it is ok to wait on the testing until the end of the month. I am feeling very unsettled and I can’t shake it. Our lady was out of the office so I am hoping that she will call tomorrow. I am hoping to convey to her that I don’t need pussyfooting, I need blunt statements about what they think is going on. Paul started his prep...

 Theo, our rabbit passed away last night. Avery woke me up aroun 11:30 pm. She found him peacefully in his cage. This was a cool little being. He was soft and cute. He ALWAYS found a reason to get into the pile of hay you just swept up, or sneak out the door.  He was almost 11. While it is sad, we are so grateful for the laughs he gave us over the past several years. He was so chill. We assume Phineas is sharing his bed with him again. He was always drawn to Phineas. I have been noticing that I have become quite forgetful it the past little bit. Today I set my phone down. While I was looking for my phone I must have set my purse down. Then I was looking for both. Ahhhh. I feel like my plate is full and don’t want any more responsibility right now. I wouldn’t say overwhelmed but fully whelmed at the moment. I am thankful that summer is so busy and it keeps me distracted from Ethan’s issues. Our friend group was sharing many poop jokes in support of Paul’s colonoscopy. Paul is g...

 We finished up cousins weekend and it was sad to say goodbye to everyone. Paul and I stayed behind to help clean up and put everything back so that the in-laws had minimal lifting and work to do. I imagine this weekend tires them out! We came home and started preparing for our driveway to be redone starting tomorrow. We are set to get our driveway busted up and replaced. We are getting crushed stone for a few weeks and then will have it asphalted after that.  Ethan’s two chrysalises were hanging from the top of our butterfly cage. It’s an old laundry hamper from GoodWill, but a butterfly cage just sounds better. The one chrysalis had turned clear. You could see the monarch coloring. A little while later it hatched. Ethan will let it go when the time is ready. They typically need 24 hours to get their bearings with their new body. I broke the news to Ethan this evening that he did have some abnormalities on his heart test that didn’t make sense to the doctor so they want him t...

 We started our day with a walk to Dunkin’ Donuts. This is a traditional walk. There are usually some dogs, Aunt Julie, Avery, My self and son straggles like Ethan or my nephew that join. Today was 3 days and 3 people. The boys declined. Jiminy stayed back because that was a lot of steps for a little guy like him. We grabbed a quick breakfast and beverage. All the dogs did well, especially Moe. He saw a surprise man at the park, a man walking his husky on the sidewalk and lots of cars and people. It was great practice for him to “dog” with manners. We have been working really hard with manners. This afternoon, we set up for a large group of people. We had orchestrated the ordering of the pizza, had the tables and chairs set up. We had a few sprinkles but the weather cooperated quite well. A family friend had a fabulous shirt on that he had made that showcased a picture of himself , sitting in a line with the other neighborhood kids eating an ice cream. A few years back, the neighbo...