Today our Phineas would have been 16 years old. We sure do miss him. We now he is still keeping us safe. Miss you Phin Dog!
I poured myself a generous cup of coffee. I talked to Avery for a bit as we are moving her into her dorm. I started feeling overwhelmingly guilty about not logging into work. It was 6:30 am and to be clear, I need to work 40 hours a week.
Yesterday I worked for 4 hours. I typically work 10 hour days logging far more than 40 hours a week. Not because I have to, because I do find this job fun. I like the hunt. I like helping the practices find the right person. It is a fun challenge. Why was I feeling so anxious about not starting right away?
If anyone came to me with this issue, I would think they were crazy. I would tell them “you don’t owe any more than 40 hours a week. Put those thoughts right out of your head.” Why can’t I take my own advice? This is nonsense
As I was thinking about it, I asked myself why I felt I didn’t deserve to sit and enjoy my coffee. I had no answer.
I tried to ignore the feeling but it was so nagging! Not sure why I feel the need to torture myself.
I decided to show my anxiety twirling around this issue who was boss. Shut your filthy mouth, brain. I will start working when I am showered and will enjoy my coffee.
After I finally logged into work, I did get some wonderful feedback from one of my coworkers. It really made my day! It’s the little things like that, that make all the difference in the world.
I have this spider in between my window and screen I have been watching. He has built the coolest web and has been there a few weeks. He isn’t in the house so he doesn’t qualify as a pest. Pests are brutally murdered in my house.
He has been growing. His web has been growing and has become quite intricate. He has collected beads of water that look like little jewels. I am impressed and in awe of how spiders are so artistic. To be clear, I still kill them in the house. I don’t want them crawling up my nose and laying eggs in my sinus cavity, which is all I can think of when I see one in my house.
Everyone talks about their kids “first”. When your kid first goes to school, loses their first tooth, and it comes with a level of excitement. Somehow there is a shift as they finish up school and make that transition into adulthood.
Then it comes with a level of sadness. This is the last band concert, last award ceremony, last time riding the bus. This is the last day of high school!
As our kids grow I am trying to focus more on their firsts than their lasts. Their firsts still exist. Today was the first suite Avery has ever moved into at college. Last year it was her first dorm room. This year is her first suite.
She survived her first college research project and even kept the first silica packet she found in her first lab coat. She was so proud of it. She makes me laugh.
She was able to move out of her town home and into the dorms. College doesn’t start for another couple weeks so she had the luxury of moving in on a day that no one else was around. This was an introverts dream.
Her day was horrible. She shared she moved the majority of her things from the town home to the new suite. She is sharing the suite with 5 of her friends and is super excited about it.
The power was out at the new dorm, so the elevator was not working. She hiked her things up 6 flights of stairs multiple times. She was hot, tired, annoyed and hungry in the state I found her.
Together we moved the rest of her things. It was not much. We then began to unpack her stuff. Due to the amount of set up she wanted to do, we rescheduled our dinner to alleviate that anxiety for her. No big deal.
She wanted her bed lifted and we tried, but we needed help. At that point I was hungry, annoyed, tired and sweaty. Paul swooped in like a hero and fixed it all. He popped by on his way home from work.
While he was traveling there, I grabbed subs from Wegmans. Yum! We were so hungry that we inhaled the subs.
Paul worked his magic and went off to help some friends of ours.
As we were setting things up, I noticed a cute shelf Avery had. “That is such a cute shelf” I said. She responded with “isn’t it cute? I saw it at the thrift store and knew it would be perfect for my wet specimens”. I laughed. “Nerd!” I said. Who was “wet specimens”?
We finished up about 5 hours later. Clothes are folded. Bed is made. Things are mostly orderly. Bathroom is decorated. Things seem settled which will help ease her mind over the next couple weeks.
Tomorrow she starts work back in the farm. She missed her farm family. She plans to work on the farm on weekends. She also got her first teaching assistant job starting this fall.
While life is full of last moments, it is also full of firsts. I am working on choosing to celebrate the good feels and embrace the change that will continually happen. At least for today…..ha ha. I reserve my right to flip a switch and cry about last moments at any given time. Ha ha
Here are some move in pictures:
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