2/5 8:20 pm

 As Ethan’s birthday came and went, I realized I was the one that received the ultimate gift of the day. I got to be with Ethan and was able to talk to him. I also got to talk to family today which was so good for both Ethan and I.

Ethan slept off and on last night. At around 2:00 am he started clanking on the side of the bed to get me up. “He asked me if he had any ticks on his head?” What the hell kind of question is that? I must have heard him incorrectly. He then said he had a dream that I told him he had ticks on his head. He was making sure it was just a dream. We chatted for a bit and I had to go back to bed.

I woke up to clanking again a little after 6:00 am. He wanted to ask me if he could have an apple. His feeds were turned off at 4:00 am in preparation for him to go down and have his dialysis access evaluated. Yesterday he had a steady oozing and they think the 12 gauge is too small and they need to replace it with a larger size. This means the tube inserted into his vein needs to be replaced with a larger tube to stop the oozing so he stops losing small amounts of blood. This is something he needs to be heavily sedated for as well as will be painful afterward. The words “uncomfortable” were used but I switched that to pain because I want to be honest with him. That way when it is painful he won’t think something went wrong.  

His site was evaluated by another team and they wanted to hold off replacing it. This caused a bit of a stir amongst the staff. They will be watching it.

He wanted me to read some more of my blog to him so he can find out what happened to himself. We are at the point where he was about 24 hours post surgery, with his chest wide open, hulking through so much sedative and trying to get out of bed.  He responded “That’s how I roll!”  I cracked up. Indeed kid....that is how you roll.

His group of night time nurses got together and all signed a birthday card for him. We got it this morning. He tried to hold and read the card himself but his hand tremor was so bad, he asked me to read it to him.

I started reading message after message of these beautifully poetic written words of encouragement, inspiration and love. Ethan started crying and so did I. There we sat with tears going down our faces. How freaking nice. Ethan requested to have the card framed so he could hang it on the wall in his room when he gets out. 

We talked about again, how kindness, in a time of need especially, can be so powerful and impact the person so profoundly on the receiving end of it. It humbled him to have such a wonderful card.  He was so thankful for the events yesterday and today. He was humbled to tears that everyone was so kind and loving toward him. He did say he had a really nice day despite being in the ICU. 

OT came today and got Ethan up and out of bed. He was moved to the wheel chair. He then was evaluated by the so speech and swallow lady. (😳 that name).

We told her about his craving for an apple. She had me cut up some apple into small pieces. One by one he chewed and swallowed a piece of apple. No choking at all. He has been graduated to fruit with the caution to stay away from juicy fruit because it has a higher choking hazard because of the juice.  We have some banana to try next.

We moved Ethan back to bed. He has been napping like Phineas, our 11 year old Super Dog. Phineas has an early morning nap, mid morning nap, and late morning nap.  That prepares him for his early afternoon, mid afternoon and late afternoon naps. Then he takes an early evening nap, and is ready for bed from his exhausting day of napping. Ethan and Phineas seriously look like napping twins.

During Ethan’s nap I asked my favorite ladies if there was any way to get a rocking chair. I even told them I would fake a seizure if they needed a distraction so they could steal one from another room. Luckily, I didn’t need to do that and they were able to find someone that had two in their room. The second was being used for a coat rack. Sweet! I am so thankful. It is so much more comfortable and I can sit right near Ethan.

Ethan napped the afternoon away. He woke up and did his breathing exercises, more physical therapy and watched a bit of TV. 

When the speech and swallow lady was visiting she said Ethan could have 15-20 bites of soft food at a time. 

She was going to put in a request for soft foods to come at meal time. Holy crap! Wow! When dinner came, he got macaroni and cheese, applesauce, a granola bar (soft one), soup and broccoli.  His belly has not seen any food in 10 + weeks and doesn’t know what to do with it. Ethan worked on holding his silverware and delivered his food airplane into his mouth with a turbulent landing. His hands tremor so much. He rolled the pasta around in his mouth and chewed and chewed. He was careful to make sure he didn’t choke. He swallowed his food in several bites but didn’t cough. “That was good”. He said.

He had bites of every food. Wow! He said what he craves most is ice water. He wants me to buy those silicone ice trays that make huge ice cubes for his new insulated cup his nurses got him for his birthday. So funny.

He still does feel nauseous after eating. His medications are being controlled a little bit better. 

He also wanted to try out his new headband with speakers his nurses got for him. He loved it. He played Linkin Park and fell asleep for his early evening nap. He had such a busy day yesterday he was so tired today.

I can’t believe he is now eating and will be getting meals. That is so awesome! We have some good chats. I hope he remembers them. 

My bright spot today was the whole day. While Ethan sitting on the bed today I was able to give him a full body hug. I held him close so thankful that he is healing. I kissed him on the head and he let me. He is my bright spot.