12/23/25

 Ethan went to work today. He was amped up because he was worried it would be more “party” and less “work”.  

“I go to work to work.” He said

“Life is too short to have to do things you don’t want to do.” He said.

He was unsettled and worried as to how the day was going to go. Anxiety at it’s finest.

He got to work and it was a relaxed environment. The machines weren’t running today which kind of forced him to socialize. 

He said that he views it as more of a “wasting time” situation. We all have a limited amount of time and he doesn’t like to waste his.

I do think he has become more of a loner since his medical ordeal. I think his stroke caused trauma to the relationship center of his brain. He prefers being alone. He can be sometimes social…but mostly he is quiet.

Around 9 am a few of his co-workers started to have adult beverages. Ethan is not opposed to people drinking and having a good time. To Ethan, alcohol is a drug. Caffeine is a drug. Drugs can be addictive beyond your control. Ethan remembers the torturous effects of withdrawal and  is terrified to revisit that for even one second.

With it being so early, Ethan just didn’t understand why anyone would drink alcohol at 9:00 am on  Tuesday.

He wouldn’t drink a soda, coffee or beer. To him it equates to nausea, vomiting, headaches, being physically ill and hurting all over for months. 

You and I know that a drink here or there isn’t going to cause that. One Pepsi isn’t going to cause a caffeine addiction.

It’s where he draws the line in the sand and I respect that. 

I do think he has become more of a loner since his medical ordeal. I think his stroke caused trauma to the relationship center of his brain or something. He prefers being alone. He can be sometimes social…but mostly he is quiet and private.

Ethan somewhat socialized until 11:30 at work and then he left. He was terrified to eat any food provided, because he didn’t know he had touched it, coughed near it, who had touched the plates. One guy doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom. He didn’t want that guys “crotch hands” all over things and touching them. He has always been quite cautious kid.

He came home and vented about his frustration with the whole Christmas party at work thing.

As I was listening, I tried to point out that these types of events are made available so the employer can show appreciation to the employee for all the hard work that they do. A lot of planning goes into these events and it was thoughtful on the company’s part.

Ethan was getting more agitated as we talked. 

“My social battery is drained beyond empty.” He said.  I know what that feels like. I told him to go do something he felt was fun and recharge.  He went to his room and I didn’t see him until after dinner.

I found it quite interesting that an event that is meant to be a sign of appreciation could end up being terrifying for some.