Ethan’s Journey

 Paul came home from work tonight as I was pulling out of the driveway. I am not sure what happened because it happened so quick.  I was finished with work and sitting on the couch to clear my mind, scrolling on Facebook. This beautiful pittbull appeared along side of a desperate plea for someone to adopt this dog. He was the perfect combination of meatball and cinderblock. I asked the person about him and she asked if I could come meet him right now? So there I was, no time to think. I jumped in the car. I drove to the address given, radio off. What am I doing? Am I ready to do this? I don’t really think I am ready. Sometimes I have to just trust life. Paul and I have both talked about how much we miss Phineas. But we also enjoy the equilibrium of the house. 95% of the animal duties I take care of, so I know this will be rightfully my project, my hobby. I pull up to the house and knock on the door. I was met with a hearty low and scary bark, just the way I like it. He had the...

Paul and I slept in today. It was much needed. My nose wouldn’t stop getting plugged and causing me to have over the top sneezes like my dad used to do. They would echo through the neighborhood.  Avery and I did chores together. She was a big help. This afternoon I did pretty much nothing. I sat on the couch, alone with my thoughts, recuperating from last week.  Ethan, his buddy and Paul did more man things in the garage. It was a productive day but also a lazy one as well. I had good intentions of checking my work email, but I didn’t. I am not sorry about it either. I listened to a podcast on emotional intelligence and acknowledging/validating feelings. It is for the leadership program I am involved in over the next year. It basically went into how to recognize, understand and express your acceptance of another person’s feelings. This can help create a space for them to process their emotions without the worry of being judged.   We all hide our feelings. Every day. How m...

 Avery came home this morning before she had to go to work. Paul and I slept in, so I didn’t get to see her for very long. I told her she can wake me up the next time. I typically don’t wake up well and swing at people…so I told her to stay down by my feet. Ethan had some of the guys over today. They worked on their go carts and rode them around the field. They are fine tuning them for next weekends big go cart event near our house. Ethan is pretty excited for it. I was glad Ethan had a fun day. He deserved it after the week he has had. I still felt off and tired today. It seemed to improve as the day went on.I just feel lethargic and unmotivated. I still have a runny nose and am certain this is viral. I got another week to go before it should run it’s course. Paul also felt tired and sluggish. We still accomplished a lot of “get ready for the cold weather” chores. This evening there was a short time where all 4 of us were in the living room together. It was nice. Then Paul got gro...

 NO REJECTION!!!!!! Great news for Ethan! We got our Indian Summer. The past few days have been so beautiful. The weather is warm. The sun is out. The leaves are colorful. Fall is amazing. Theo enjoyed his day outside. I was so thankful that we didn’t have any appointments to go to today. One day in a row. The appointments take so much out of me. The worry, the dread, the screaming, the smells reminiscent of ICU days and don’t forget the alarms. The alarms push me over the edge. They just hit a nerve in the wrong way and induce a weird form of a cross between rage and anxiety. I am so thankful it is over for the next few months. Phew! Today I learned that I might have to go back to NYC. Not because of Ethan, but there is a veterinary event that my company would like me to be present for. I am still learning the details but it is in a week and a half. Yikes. I was having trouble focusing today. I think I am just tired. I ended up after work in the back yard by our stick pile. I was ...

 Is it too late to put Ethan up for adoption? He has been a lot of work this week. Today we went back to the eye doctor. They confirmed that there is rust in Ethan’s eye and they prescribed a steroid. We have to go back in 2 weeks.  At the appointment Ethan inquired if this steroid medication was going to interfere with his other medications! That is a GREAT question for him to ask and to be thinking about. I praised him for the forward thinking on his part. Ethan didn’t complain once about his entry sites on his neck and wrist from where they inserted the wires into his heart. What a beast! These trips to NYC really tire me out. I was recovering from a non-alcoholic, NYC hangover…just feeling exhausted from the emotional fatigue of the trip.  I am thankful tomorrow is Friday.

 We were up bright and early to get to the hospital by 7:00 am. We are a well oiled machine. Uber was scheduled last night. We know the drill. We got to the hospital and we were delightfully surprised with one of Ethan’s old 9Tower nurses as his nurse today. He was the nurse that had a calm and soothing voice. He was kind and gentle when he was Ethan’s nurse in 9 Tower. He was a gift today. They came in and got Ethan all ready for his procedure. His doctor came in and let him know the drill. They took Ethan and I ran over to the donor center for my blood draw. That went well and I found my little tucked away nook that I escape to. There is a bathroom there, a one person bathroom that some guy went in, he blessed me with a symphony of bowel distress noises. While he was in there another guy showed up and was asking me if I was in line. NO WAY! I wouldn’t use that bathroom after whatever massacre was going on in there. I politely said “no” and this man happily waited for the bathroom...

 Off to NYC we went. Ethan drove the first 2 1/2 hours while I worked. Our departure was uneventful. He did well until we were switching highways in Syracuse and we got a call. It was from NYC saying that we had to be to the hospital early because Ethan needed an iv and fluids prior to the procedure. This is something we were never told. Anyone who knows Ethan, knows that he does NOT like surprises. He immediately went to anger. Ugh! Not a little anger, ALOT of anger. He and I discussed his options. I know the right thing to do is to have him get fluids ahead of time, but it is also important that his voice is heard and respected regarding his body and treatment. We decided that we would ask his doctor to see if he could skip the iv catheter with fluids.  His doctor wrote back and said that he could skip the iv and the fluids. He considered this a win and was happy that he was listened to. This same doctor sent Ethan a questionnaire to see how he was feeling about switching ov...