5/13/25

 Jiminy was out of sorts this morning. Every morning when I come downstairs, Jiminy is snuggled up with Ethan as he eats breakfast. When I come down stairs and ask “who wants to go out?” Ferguson whines, I open his crate.  Penny stays quiet because she is snuggled up and sleepy, but I make her go out. Jiminy’s version of “going out” is going to the potty pad, so he comes off the couch so he can be like the big dogs. Moe wags his tail and I let him out of his crate. 

The 3 big dogs get their “business” done and Jiminy goes on his potty pad. But then Jiminy started doing laps. He seemed unsettled. He seemed stressed. He would do a lap and go to the potty pad and urinate a couple drops. Then he had 3 drops come out on his way to the potty pad.

“Oh no Jim, you have a urinary tract infection.” I gave him some medicine to help with any pain he was having due to the UTI and got some antibiotics…STAT!

Pair that with two coughing dogs, Ferguson, the old man is the only one holding steady.

Because of the such last minute notice of this disability meeting for Ethan, I had to get to his work early and work from the parking lot. I already had meetings that were set up that could not be rescheduled. 

I was not able to reschedule this meeting as I am told (after calling the number that says “if you can’t attend this meeting call this number to reschedule”) but when you call and wait 45 minutes to talk to a human, they only book the schedule out for 3 months, can’t accommodate a reschedule and if you don’t attend, you automatically lose benefits.

Ethan is on these benefits because he has to miss so much work for appointments and you need this benefit to be eligible for Medicare. If he loses disability, he loses his healthcare. So really, we have no choice but to do what the government wants, when they want.

Ethan gets less benefits because he works full time. With his anemia and loss of kidney function, he is often tired and fatigued. He makes sure to continue working even though he could just give up and sit home collecting more benefits. This is not how we operate.

The disability office has my number as Ethan can’t hear his phone while he is working and works 7:30-4 Monday -Friday.

The appointment time is clearly a mere suggestion. They never call when they say they will. Ethan has never had a call within 30 minutes of the time they say they will call. Ethan’s appointment was at 10:30. 10:45 came and went, 11:00 came and went. I am just sitting in a parking lot thankful Ethan and I can both continue working. The plan is, as soon as they call, I text Ethan to join me in the car.

As I am sitting, the phone rings…oh wow! They are only 35 minutes late. It was some guy telling me I qualify for student debt relief.

“I don’t have any student debt.” I said.

“Are you sure?” He asked - I thought…yeah my guy, I am certain of my finances. I wanted to be snarky but it isn’t his fault.

“I was last in college in 1997. My student debt has been paid. But if you would like to just give me money, I would happily take it without the promise of paying it back.”

Turns out…they don’t happily just give out money. I asked him to take my name off his list as I am a dead end.

11:15 came and went. I was getting nervous because I had a 12:00 meeting to attend. This is turning into a real nail biter.

11:30 came and went. Now I am stewing. What kind of operation is this? Is it setup for success? No! It is not! What a waste of my time. I am painfully sitting in my car, I had to cancel my physical therapy appointment for this as well as 2 other appointments. What kind of garbage is this?

11:45 came and went. Ethan’s next appointment is coming up, my meeting is approaching. Do I call the number on the paper knowing it will be at least a 45 minute hold time to talk to a live person or wait until later in the day? When I have less appointments to complete? Since there is no quick way to solve this, I may end up having to take a day off or at least a partial day off to try and reschedule.

If they don’t do their part, does Ethan just lose benefits? How does that work? 12:00 pm came and went and I had to call it. We had to drive to the next appointment and we were driving separately. 

We never got a call. What a waste of my time, gas, and damage to my back with all the sitting.

Ethan and I both received multiple appointment reminders for his hematology appointment. When we arrived, turns out, the appointment was for us to go to the lab, which we couldn’t do. Ethan has to get his rejection medication levels tested at a specific time. He was planning on doing it Saturday as that is the only day he is around at 8:00 am.

How annoying. More time wasted. More gas wasted. More sitting for my back. I was teetering on the edge of going postal. I could feel the tornado of fury building speed. 

“I am sorry you drove all the way here for nothing.” I said to him.

“It’s ok. At least it is nice out.” He said.

I paused. It was nice out. Ethan just looked on the bright side.

I was still very much pissy about how my day was ruined. As I drove away, I needed to stop the anger. I needed to stop feeling like the world was against us.

I started thinking about how my day wasn’t all that terrible. It was a series of unfortunate events. But they weren’t terrible things. 

When I got home, I ate a cup cake. It was really good. I enjoyed it. I earned it.

I got back to work and was able to get quite a bit accomplished. The more I thought about things that I was grateful for, the more the anger subsided to mild annoyance.

I called the office to see if we could reschedule since no one called. I had to leave a message and no one  ever called me back.

As the day went on, my Heather called. It was nice to hear her voice. We shared some good laughs. Another bright side.

I have been working a little bit every day to desensitize Moe to the doorbell ringing. I am training him to get in his crate when he hears the doorbell. That way I can lock him in if I need to.

Ugh! What a day.