Ethan’s Journey

 I wasn’t feeling the best today. That sucked a little. Nothing like Tylenol to get you through. I ended up taking a nap this afternoon to rest. That did help. My phone decided to quit working so after work, I had to go to a Verizon store to deal with that. Luckily, I got a new SIM card and my phone became happy again. Things like that really go to show you how dependent we become on our phones. Before I drove to get it fixed, I told Ethan that if he got a call from a random number, it was likely me, broken down. Luckily, that didn’t happen. I was bummed that I didn’t feel so hot because I was supposed to meet up with some of the girls from my sorority.  I loaded up on Tylenol and made the drive to the meeting place. It was a SUNY Canton Alumni event. Us ladies were the youngest ones attending. We had a room off to the side with snacks and we also got free drinks. I gave my free drink tokens away since I drove myself. It really was the responsible thing to do. It was so fun to...

 Today I had a couple strategic planning meetings at work. After work, my friend helped me take Penny and Ferguson to the vet for their annual vaccinations. They were treated like rockstars as always. After that we went to dinner and visited. It was nice to see her. We had a lot of laughs. After dinner, we came back to the house and was surprised by the presence of Avery Reese. I had told her earlier that Mema made us a rhubarb pie and that I was going to probably eat ALL of it. If she wanted some, she needed to get a piece very soon. She came home to say hi, get a piece of pie.  Mema’s rhubarb pie wins all the awards in our house. Yum! Penny is sad after her vaccines. She even got an NSAID to help because she was painful, crying and shaking from her vaccines as the evening went on. Poor girl. She got to come up to bed to snuggle with mom under the blankets. I hope she sleeps well. Ferguson and Jiminy are tanks. Little 5 pound tanks not caring about their vaccines. Penny is ge...

“You can’t control the wind but you CAN adjust your sails.” I watched a little kid in a video say this. I wish I knew this when I was 5. In the situations you can’t control, control what you can, your reactions. In my leadership group, they talk about the “pause”. There’s action and reaction. Insert a pause in there. Take a moment. It’s hard. I find it most hard when Paul says something that I deem “insensitive”. Especially when I help him back in the camper. That is an activity that brings many couples to the brink of divorce. We now often drive separate. If only I knew about the pause and exercised it during this activity. Ha! I walked around our yard today, taking a break from work. I walked upon a frog sunbathing. He saw me. He didn’t jump. He didn’t try to get away. I respected his space. I watched him as he sat there patiently for bugs to fly near him. Imagine if we had to catch our own food without using our hands? He had patience. When I see these types of things and actually n...

 I checked my email often today with anxious anticipation. Is the dog that I am interested in still available? Nothing. I went on their website and found an email address to follow up.  I was thankful that work wasn’t crazy. My emails are a bit out of control, but it is expected when you are carrying a requisition load for two people. I am not sure what would happen if I had a regular workload. I think I might get bored. Paul is convinced that a black cloud is following him. He has had a series of unfortunate events that has taken him down a path of frustration. He sucked a rock up in a jet ski motor, got a flat tire on the camper, the brakes aren’t working on the camper, both lawn mowers broke over the weekend. While I understand the frustration, secretly I am glad it isn’t worse. I don’t dare say it out loud and jinx him. I also don’t want to minimize his feelings as he has every right to be frustrated. I am looking forward to my Friday night outing with my sorority sisters....

 I woke up, and Heather was still asleep. She had decided last night that she wasn’t going to be present for breakfast. I met Melissa and her family for breakfast. The food at the casino was delicious.  Melissa and I became friends in 6 th grade. She is much smarter than me. She took all the hard classes in school. In 8 th grade she took advanced art. I so badly wanted to be in one of her classes that I begged and pleaded to somehow get into that class. Somehow, someone wanted me to shut up and allowed me in the class even though I didn’t have all the criteria met. I got to sit next to her and we had so much fun that year. We played volleyball for 6 years together, going to summer camps to improve our skills.  We spent summers riding bikes the 4 miles one way to one another’s house. We canoed, we swam, we talked endlessly on the phone…except at dinner. We would hang up to eat dinner and then call each other back. In 11 th grade I struggled with history. Who cares about th...

 This morning the weather was perfect! Warm, still and the lake was like glass. I took the dogs for a walk and noticed that Penny still isn’t feeling her best. Luckily my stethoscope was in my car. Lungs clear! Yay! She earned a day of rest after that. As I was walking, I thought about Phineas and how much we missed him. This was his favorite place on earth. I look at the sticks and think “Phineas would have loved that stick.” Are we ready for another pittbull? Maybe? I don’t know.  I drove from camp to Turning stone casino to meet up with my friends Heather and Melissa. We went to watch Chelsea Handler perform. We ate a delicious dinner at an Italian restaurant. Afterwards we walked to the show. It didn’t start for a while so we had a drink first. The people watching was epic. Our seat was pretty close to the stage which was awesome. We enjoyed the show and laughed a lot. The end of the evening was rounded out by visiting in a cozy setting and chatting. The theme, do the thin...

 Today we were greeted with a warm and friendly day full of sunshine and happy thoughts. The dogs got lots of walks off leash and actually tired them out. Poor Penny has developed a cough. It is either from her sensitive trachea or perhaps an allergy.  I suspect her sensitive treacherous is the main culprit. She has started coughing since I put on her seresto collar. The collar helps keep her safe from fleas and ticks. She also takes a pill for her heartworm protection, that also helps keep her safe from fleas and ticks. The thousand Islands is known for their prevalence of Lyme disease. 1 out of 3 dogs here tests positive for Lyme disease. I can’t have any of my dogs having ticks on them. What if? What if they have a tick on them and Ethan snuggles up to them. The last thing he needs is Lyme disease. This is why I go overboard with the flea and tick control. Today Penny wore her harness more and went for several walks where she pulled and had tension from the harness on her n...

 I am turning Ethan into a woman in her mid 40’s. This morning, he was watching the bird feeders. I was not. He noticed a baby rabbit zooming around and eating the fallen bird seed. We then saw the chipmunk drama. Chip and Dale really enjoy the bird feeder but are not good at sharing with one another. They stuff their cheeks and try to guard the feeders from the other. Then our Pileated woodpecker made an appearance. We have a tree stump that has an excellent for pecking and eating bugs. Ethan wanted to get video.  Ethan with all his leanness, went outside, in his boxer briefs, and started tip toeing through the backyard almost naked. He was trying to get video. I was chuckling to myself because he has always had a curiosity and love for nature and wild life. But all I could think was, someone is going to call the cops on him. He looks like a creeper. He then leaned down behind a mound of what is supposed to be flowers but is just weeks at this point. He looked very suspicious...

 Today was busy. Ethan had a therapy appointment and set himself up in a month to assess his anxiety with starting his apprenticeship. After that I went with him to pick out the steel toe boots that he needs for his apprenticeship. Luckily, he had a voucher for the boots. Ethan drove so I could work in the car while we were traveling to the location. We took his sporty little red Supra. On our way home, Ethan spotted a turtle in the middle of a busy road. He quickly turned his car around to make sure the turtle crossed the road safely. As he got back into the car, he handed me the turtle with the idea of putting it in our pond. It wasn’t a snapper, it was a painted turtle. Ethan made friends with the turtle as did Jiminy. We released it into our pond, away from the road, so it doesn’t get hit. We talked about Ethan’s old turtle, Emma, and how she was so crabby. She bullied the dogs and had them totally scared of her as she would clunk her shell at them, daring them to come closer s...

Avery called me this morning. She was upset because she was feeling the feelings of starting a full time real job. The lack of personal time, the feeling of regret when you have over committed. It really does take some getting used to. I find empathy is the best way to support her. She also had a glitch in the pharmacy and has been off of her mental health medication for 5 days. When I went to pick it up for her today, our insurance doesn’t support our small town local business pharmacy. Boo! They dictate what pharmacy we can use. So I decided to pay out of pocket until we can get that situated. We will have to transfer her scripts and my scripts to the larger pharmacy in town. I really LOVE our small town pharmacy. They do excellent work. They know your name when you walk in. They know your family tree. I know their voices on the phone. I know I have to accept this but I don’t have to like it. Ethan went and got his bloodwork this morning. It’s so much nicer to get lab work now that t...

It was so beautiful day today. I was thankful for the fact I was able to work outside. My two lazy coworkers were napping on the job. One of my coworkers was locked in a crate because she rolled in something and wouldn’t stop barking at the neighbors. Ethan had his hematology appointment. It was in the same office as oncology. This does happen because a lot of oncology patients also have abnormalities with their blood. I didn’t think to warn Ethan about this until I read it on the office door.  I assured him that there was nothing else going on. Really the only minor issue that sparked this appointment was his decreased number of platelets (the cells that help you clot) and he is on multiple medications that can cause that. He is not in a danger zone. I just wanted someone to follow it. They wanted to do lab work. We advocated for labs to be done tomorrow. We are going to the lab tomorrow anyway because we have to see how things are looking with his medication adjustments and kidne...

 Happy Birthday Jason LaShomb!  I got home around 6:30 this morning. I stripped at the door (because who knows what I am bringing him) and went straight to bed. My alarm was set for 9:40 am. That would give me time to brush my teeth, heat up coffee and be ready for my 5 meetings. I had very vivid dreams. I woke up a few times but went right back to sleep this morning. I would fall right back into the dream. The fan was in the window, blowing perfectly temped air into the room. Ahhhhhh. Great sleeping conditions. Meetings went well but those 12 hour shifts hurt my body.  I am not getting any younger. I made sure my day was easy today.  Avery shared how her first day went. She said she had 4 hours of reading about how this project is going to unfold. She said something about nano particles…blah blah blah….she also said she enjoyed her reading material and it was reinforcement she has chosen the correct field of study. She has now met all of her room mates. She says tha...

 What a beautiful Sunday! I planted some vegetables and herbs. Hoping that I get a small crop. Last year I was able to freeze a bunch of tomato’s and use it throughout the winter to make chili. Yum! I enjoyed most of the day by exercising the dogs and rabbit outside and taking myself for a walk. I walked around our mushy field. I stumbled across a dead baby deer. Awe poor little baby. Our yard is overflowing with fragrance. The peonies are in bloom, the lilacs are finishing up and smell divine, and our hibiscus bush has large, pink flowers front and center. I napped in the afternoon to prepare for the night shift at the ER. I actually slept so that was nice. The window was open and the fan was blowing fresh air in. It was the perfect environment for napping. I went into work. It is always an adventure. The patients were really good to work with. That makes things so much better. We did have an animal that presented in a way to indicate it could have ingested illegal drugs. We did a...

Today started rough. We are sleeping with the windows open and my allergies are going crazy. Sleeping with the window open outweighs dealing with the headaches and congestion. But I had to wait until the allergy pill kicked in before I could be productive. Avery moved into her town home. We rolled into Brockport a half hour early so she could get her town house assignment. She stood in line while we waited patiently. I was more patient than Paul. The room was moist and I started to smell the oily skin of people and had to walk outside. I have a super nose and the smells are sometimes overwhelming. Avery got her assignment and we began to move her in. It is pretty neat. When you walk in, there is a kitchen and living-room that open to one another. There is a breakfast bar with 4 stool chairs, a couch, a chair or two and then a kitchen table with 6 chairs. If you walked straight, it would lead you to two separate bedrooms set up for one person, with a full bathroom. If in the living room...

 I was thinking this morning about all the things I was thankful for. I really enjoyed having my windows open and feeling the cool breeze coming in to air out the winter funk. I am thankful the excited whisper “Mom come here….look at the blue jay.” Just having an excited reaction to a shared interest. This afternoon Ethan and I walked around the yard and used my bird app to identify the different calls. Silly, but I liked it. We did have a wood pecker near by, but I think it left because I haven’t heard the jack hammering of his beak the last day or two. How do their brains survive? It is nice to have Avery home. She made lunch today, sausage tortellini with meatballs and a tomato basil sauce.  It was pretty yummy. I played catch up today. I am getting ready for next week. I tried to be as kind to myself as possible. I work my night shift on Sunday, Monday will be me recovering from the lack of sleep. Tuesday we meet with a hematologist tor Ethan. Wednesday is labs, Thursday i...

 I am glad tomorrow is Friday. This week has been long. Today I had one of my leadership meetings. The topic was “difficult discussions” it was quite useful with a non-accusatory approach to talking about things that suck. It has been one of the most useful things we have learned yet. I am thankful that we moved Avery home today. She will be here until Saturday. Then she moves back into the dorms to start her summer research project. Yup! Stupid they didn’t let her stay. We moved her back after work this evening and it was a family affair.  Even her friend was there helping too. When we got home, Avery and I worked on grooming the rabbit as he had a fecal catastrophic event and needed to be shaved. His ding dong (that is a scientific word) glands were crusty and needed a good cleaning as well. He is a messy boy.  Then Paul came in and told me that there was a chipmunk that fell out of the tree and broke its back and was flailing around in the back yard. I wish I hadn’t kn...

 Avery called me last night. This is finals week for her. She gets the swirly twirly’s in her stomach and has some pretty bullying self talk. Today was her physics 2 final. I asked her what the worst thing was that could happen. “I do really bad, everyone hates me, and I start bleeding from my eyeballs.”  Boy, I hate when that happens. I started poking holes in her anxieties/fears. We used humor to laugh at the fear. “I have heard that anxiety/fear causes excessive bleeding through the eyeballs…I hope you don’t have a clotting disorder” - I said. “Or else….sure death!” I told her about a conversation I had with her Aunt Julie SEVERAL summers ago. She had read something or listened to a podcast that suggested personifying fear into a person that is trying to control you. You should talk to your fear tell your fear what you think of it. I remember during that conversation laughing at how ridiculous this was. We joked about what we would say to fear. However, I also shared with A...

 This is the quote I read today. “The worst I ever wish on people is that they meet themselves as someone else.” I don’t generally wish ill on anyone…except maybe pedophiles, elder abusers and animal abusers. This quote does capture how I feel about people though.  For the most part, I wouldn’t mind running into someone that acted like me. I mean I have my days when I annoy myself or am crotchety and I wouldn’t want to meet that person acting like me on those days.  I think back to certain instances in my life where I may not have acted my best self. Ewww…would I want to run into that version of myself? No way.  Are there rules to this quote? What if your poor actions are in response to someone being a dumbass, or rude, or worse? There has to be exceptions right? Either way, the message is solid. It’s kind of like saying “Have the day you deserve.”  My camel bite is healing nicely. It looks like a watercolor gone wrong with its swirls of purple-y and yellow....

Back to the grind! Boo! I actually feel quite refreshed after a week off. I was ready to tackle today. I did a little bit of work while on vacation to make sure I was not overwhelmed today. It worked and I was thankful I chose to do that. It was a beautiful day out when it wasn’t pouring rain. ☔️  I helped Ethan complete the I9 form for his apprenticeship. I had to be the “document verifier” to make sure he is a real citizen. Avery needed help with getting her direct deposit form for her research job this summer. She was able to obtain everything remotely. I set up an appointment for next week to have my new glasses fitted.  Tomorrow we meet with the NYC nephrologist for a follow up. They want to make sure that everything is going well with the new doctors. Ethan’s doctor is so thoughtful and caring towards him, even when he is unlikable.  Ethan will need his blood drawn again soon. We will see how things look on his bloodwork. One day at a time.

 Mother’s Day should be extended for a WEEK! I would lobby for that. I don’t lobby for anything, but I would lobby for that! Today was spent cleaning and unpacking. Ethan had the house in great shape when we got back. He has made such a huge improvement since our last trip! The dogs needed their baths, nail trims and beds changed. We got that done, no problem. Next on the list, remove the camper cover, dust it off and get the winter smell out of it. Freshen the linens, towels, and rugs. Wipe out all the drawers and surfaces. Go through all the things, add all the medications and bandages so that “just in case” something happens, we are prepared. I brought up my paints and paint brushes from storage in the basement, for some epic rock painting. I have enough paints for the next 10 summers. My Mom was wonderful enough to host Mother’s Day even though it was physically taxing for her. We all stepped in to help. She made such a yummy meal! It was great to see Nana and Papa too! What a ...

 We had to sadly leave this paradise called Aruba. Some day we want to get back to it. So many wonderful things to explore. Lots of sunshine and warm weather. Now we have to go back to reality and work hard so we can afford the next trip. Our flights went well. We saw some interesting travel outfits. I liked being able to watch tv on our 5 hour jaunt. I was also able to log into work and start sorting through emails and preparing for my meetings on Monday. I also liked that our Jet Blu flight was actually on time. Other vacations we have not been so lucky. With so many people going so many places it really brings awareness to how small we are compared to this big world we live in. We need to make our time here stand out for us. Do the things we can look back on and think, “I am so glad I had that experience”. This trip was one of our growing catalogue that I can say this about. Also, I am still pretty pumped about my favorite souvenir. I was sad I had to put a coat on in NYC becaus...

 Today we had a leisurely last day. We finished up our leftovers, we sat by the pool and we decided to go to the beach. The beach near our rental is nice, so we went there again.  We were able to get a cabana again. It wasn’t crowded. Perfect! It was low tide so we looked at rocks, shells and critters in shells. I enjoy walking around and exploring the beach. I am not sure if it is because I like to see all the stuff or because I like wearing just my bathing suit on a hot day. We finished up at the beach a few hours later and came home for a bit. Andy napped, Diane read some, Paul was planning out his next project and I was in the pool. We decided we wanted to go to the lottery near this iconic bar. This lottery had a funny name. We saw it on our bus tour and have been laughing ever since. It is legitimate. The joke was “so….what do I win?” Paul bought a ticket and actually won a small amount. We ventured on to the iconic Charlie’s Bar. This bar had lots of chotchkies all over...

 Today was an exciting adventure. Paul and I wanted to check out Arikok National Park. Andy and Diane sunned themselves at the pool back at the Airbnb. The first place we went was the Natural Pool.  This pool was formed by a volcanic eruption. It has a water collection from the waves crashing over the volcanic rock that forms the barrier around this exquisite find. You can only get to it by a 4x4 vehicle. We found out why on the 25 minute drive at 10 mph or less. We were tossed around the inside of the jeep like rag dolls. There were large gaping holes in the road, large boulders and narrow super bumpy paths to get to the destination. The climb up the hill and down again that we had to do was done at a snails pace as it was so rugged. My shoulder had a raw spot from the seatbelt rubbing on us. BUT…the views were amazing. We finally arrived. I was surprised at how far away it was from the parking lot. We had to walk down 91 steps to get down to the bottom. We basically had to s...