😩 1/12 7:10 pm

Life is about adapting. As adults, we try to find a way to communicate with one another that is cordial and effective. You adapt your communication style to your audience no matter how big or small it may be.

One thing I have found so beautiful, yet so frustrating is the nurses. Most are walking superhero’s, that cheer you along as they go. These are walking angels that nursing is not just their career, it is their way of life.

Occasionally you get one that you communicate your needs  to in a cordial and what you think is effective manner and you are not heard. This is so frustrating. 

I have that nurse. Yesterday I silence an alarm after it went off 5 times. I immediately walked into the hall where she was sitting and told her I had silenced the alarm and also what it was for.  She asked me not to do that anymore and that she would silence the alarm. I then told her that it was important to me to shut the alarms off because it was driving me absolutely crazy. She said she would do it herself. Ok. I can respect that.  

Another alarm went off. She did not silence it in what I would consider a timely fashion.  I gave her a solid 2 minutes.  She was sitting outside my room. I shut off the alarm and told her it was driving me crazy so I shut it off. Again she asked me not to.

I invited her to share her opinion of the alarms with me. She admitted they do drive her crazy sometimes too. I asked if she ever heard the alarms after she left here.  She did say that she sometimes hears them in her sleep and she wakes up with a jolt.

I then said “imagine if you had to listen to them for the last 7 weeks around the clock.” She then said “I can’t imagine that.” I told her that it is awful and that is why I am having trouble listening to the alarms.

I turned around and went back in the room.  Within 5 minutes, the alarm started going off. It was an alarm that she had a remote sitting next to her to silence. I gave it 2 minutes. I set my stop watch. Nothing.  I started to get hot which is never good. I then came up with the ridiculous idea that every time the alarm went off I would just do a quick, throaty scream. As loud as I could, for a quick moment. Every. Time. The. Alarm. Would. Ding. Would that get her attention?

I got up and walked into the hall where she was sitting. “Can you PLEASE shut off the alarm?” I asked not very calmly I will admit. In fact it was snippy.

“Yes but I have to do (insert activity here) first.” (Are you kidding me? Push the damn button and quit making excuses.)

This woman has the personality that nothing is ever her fault, someone didn’t write this or that down, and I just can’t respect someone who can’t say “I am sorry.” Or at least acknowledge that she didn’t do the only thing I had asked of her today day.

I then looked at her and said “You know what? (Ask Paul, this is not a good way for me to start off...) if you can’t handle shutting off the alarms, either let me shut them off or change the parameters within the monitor. I can show you how if you want. I haven’t asked for a lot while I have been here, but if these alarms keep going on for minutes on end, you may as well get me a bed in the Psych ward.” She just stared at me shocked. “It’s been a damn 7 plus weeks with ding....ding....ding....(I made my voice very loud and annoying with each ding and really pronounce my G) and I have had enough.” She silenced the alarm with the remote.

She then started to tell me again why she couldn’t have shut off the alarm. “Enough!” I said. “Just make it happen.”

I walked back in the room. My face was hot. I was so pissed. Pissed that I had to lose my temper. All because she wouldn’t let me help her. This was the straw that broke the camels back for me today. I had witnessed a bit of what I would consider laziness as a “nurse” (animal, but still) myself.

I then skipped over charge nurse and went to the head of the management team for the nurses. That was with the help of one of my favorite nurses that I was sad I didn’t get. I met with that lady and shared my grievances. I also presented her a list of nurses that were familiar (and that I worked well with) with Ethan. This would allow continuity of care for Ethan and myself. 

She then asked me if there was anything she could do for me since I had been here so long. I told her:

“The biggest gift you could give me right now is to make this list happen for us starting tomorrow if possible.” Which I felt was a reasonable request.

After two days with nurse excuses, shockingly Ethan’s  pressure sores have gotten worse. I have been trying to make sure she was putting the correct pressure pads under him. I have tried to stay on top of it. When the skin care nurse came today I told her that he wasn’t being turned as frequently for the past two days (the two days she has been Ethan’s nurse). Of course she replied with “no one told me to put a jelly under his butt”. Lie. I did and had done it. Even though she was there the day previous when the wound care doctor was visiting and discussing it with me. I had also been asking her every two hours to turn him and she had excuses why she couldn’t just then. She also would absolutely not let me help, which delayed her even more because help was at a premium.

Ethan had a day with little progress due to delirium. I asked for a consult with the psych team which was granted without any friction. They adjusted his medications trying to find something that would help.  They determined he was going through withdrawal with some of the weans he was going through. The only way he seemed to be settled was holding his hand.

His fever went up. Janice crashed AGAIN and he had to get another transfusion because of it. This meant another iv placement. Which he was a champ for.

They did another ultrasound of Ethan’s abdomen to look for the “missing kidney”. It still is missing. They even were looking for it in different spots. This kid is a hot mess. 

They also did an ultrasound on his vessels in his legs in preparation for his heart cath/biopsy.  The biopsy was supposed to be Friday. Yesterday I mentioned to them they should schedule it and then do the covid test so he didn’t have to go through extra covid testing, just in case he didn’t get the Friday slot.  Everyone assured me it was fine and he got the covid test.

Today they said they weren’t able to get the Friday appointment. “Are you kidding me?” They, in fact, we’re not kidding. 

I looked at the cardiologist and said “if you can find a way to make his biopsy happen this week, I will by you a free coffee from the 9 central community coffee machine. How can you refuse such a generous offer?” So he is going to see what he can do.  I believe him because I signed all the paperwork today in preparation for it.

When they did the biopsy vessel ultrasound to find the best vein to access the heart and lungs, the discovered a second clot in the left jugular. This is in addition to the right jugular clot discovered last week. More heparin therapy. 

Ethan has been restless all day, except when he was given 2 different sedatives at the same time. Then he slept for an hour. That’s it today. Poor kid.

I was able to do 9 floors today, when nurse excuses was on lunch and one of the other nurses was watching over him. 

After what I would consider a frustrating day, I asked myself what the bright side was. At first nothing came to mind. I slightly shamed myself and then tried again.

When I held Ethan’s hand, he calmed down. Somehow I was able to offer him comfort during his delirious state. I held his hand for hours today. That is my bright side.

My next bright side....it is shift change. The nurse that has Ethan tonight is a delight.