I slept well and past the time my pain meds were due. Don’t get me wrong, I am still pretty sore. My skin feels tight, like it is going to rip open. It is swollen and bruised. It feels heavy. On my back, on my left side (the kidney they removed) there are no incisions. I feel deep soreness. With that being said, I am still doing my breathing exercises, drinking my couple liters of water, walking and progressing. Everyday I can do a little more. Today I was able to bend down and grab something off the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.
Ethan is struggling a bit mentally. He is upset because everyone is on his case to drink more. They are on his case because the more he drinks and flushes that gorgeous kidney he has, the more chance for it to remain healthy.
We are now entering the phase of transitioning from the kid that is “critically ill” to the kid “formally known as critically ill” (like Prince) . His body wouldn’t allow him to feel the way a medically unchallenged person feels. He is now crossing the line from end stage disease, to normal function.
Ethan terms it as PTSD and he just wants to leave. They are ready to send him home medicinally, with the caveat that he is drinking 2-3 liters a day. He doesn’t want to (because he is stubborn) do what everyone is telling him to do, so now he has built a wall of anger and no complying. What is this? The twilight zone?
He is the ticket to his freedom and he isn’t choosing it and is mad with his decision. What? I want to shake him and say “get your head out of your butt”. With refusing to talk to a psychologist and threats of getting himself discharged against medical advice, we had quite the exchange this evening, all appropriate though.
He doesn’t feel in control. Hell is present and lurking around. We chatted for a while about his expectations and things bothering him. I told him he needs to “kick hell in the balls”. He is literally his own ticket out the hospital. He has all the control.
I never would have thought we would have this kind of emotional turmoil. I am NOT a professional either. With his refusal of talking to someone that is actually educated in this area, it falls a lot on me. Oh boy….don’t screw it up. You get what you pay for in this case.
Tomorrow is my first time going to see him at the hospital since I was released last Wednesday. I have done very well flushing my Solitary kidney and really resting. I had great help with me. Paul departed today and made it home safely.
I will likely feel tired tomorrow, but will get through it. I wonder if his new kidney will recognize me.
You are doing the best you can, and you are doing awesome! It's not surprising that Ethan feels PTSD. This sounds like a very frustrating situation for both of you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he would like drinking water more if there is something in it, like a little lemon or fruit or some other flavor.
I'm sorry this is hard. We love you all!
💛❤💛❤💛❤💛
Or vodka. Ha ha kidding.
Deletemaybe Ethan will relate to the kidney in car terms - it's like a new engine or engine part and needs plenty of good, lubricating oil to keep it going and moving. and I like Jenny's fruit idea. I love plain old ice water but I know some people prefer a little flavor. perhaps try to bribe him like a toddler learning to try new foods - offer Ethan a treat for drinking his entire water bottle (extra screen time, etc.??) - I am so sorry he still has trauma and is being stubborn over talking it out with a professional. It's a heavy load to take on for him, and for you to help him. But you are all so strong and have proved that over the last year. It's going to take a bit and be an adjustment, but you got this! sending lots of hugs!❤❤
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie. ❤️❤️
Delete"Not all scars are visible." That is an incredible saying. So very true for so many things! Arrrrggg... you are showing me a preview of life with a young stubborn adult. I've got one of those stubborn kids too. Yikes.... it sounds so emotionally intense. Be kind to yourself. Although you are not professional trained, you certainly sound like it! So very wise.... Trust your gut. Still got that in your body, right? Too soon for organ jokes? Ha! Cheers to a good day ahead. xoxo
ReplyDeleteAlways love a good organ joke
DeleteI’m glad to hear you are getting around a little better. Hopefully sleeping positions will get easier.
ReplyDeleteOh Ethan, you have come so far to throw your hands up and say I’ve had enough. Some really good suggestions above. He’s had a taste of being home and doing things he enjoyed too. Stubborn young adult who now has all the answers, ugh. I hope he realizes you are not feeling up to par right now and goes easy on you❤️.
He figured it out today.
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