He has Gone Into the OR

 We spent the day watching funny videos and laughing. As the saying goes “Laughter is the best medicine.” I gave him the biggest dose possible. 

Ethan had to do multiple chlorhexadine wipes all over his body and then put on a gown.  Using a wheel chair Ethan’s nurse wheeled down to the OR floor. All the personnel from the floor came out and they were clapping and two of them had a bubble maker and showered him with congratulations on his new heart day. It definitely put a smile on both of our faces.

The doors opened on the elevator  and we walked in. We then weaved our way through long, dim halls used for the storage of beds, tables, cribs and chairs. It was quiet.

We got to the OR waiting room.  It was dark as the staff had gone home for the day. We waited patiently.  We were told about the hold up procuring his new heart.

They parked him and I in recovery room. Ethan had his fingers inter twined in one another tightly. We were both anxious.  I made him watch Tik Tok videos and we began laughing again.

They then updated us that the team had started to procure his new heart. I walked with him to the hall to the OR.  I gave him a long hug. “Are you ready?” I asked him.  “Uh huh” he answered in his teenage grumble. I told him I loved him and would see him soon. I made eye contact with the nurse and said “you better take good care of my boy!”. She promised she would.

I had a flash back to the day when Ethan was 9 months old and just handed him over to a stranger, the surgeon that would be the first one to do surgery on my baby’s heart. The helpless feeling of watching someone take my kid away and me relinquishing my duties to protect him in those moments and transferring those duties to someone else.

I went back to his room in 6Tower and packed all of our things on a cart and wheeled it to 9Tower, the cardiac ICU, as directed. They put me in Ethan’s new room. They told me I would be updated as soon as they could.  Until then, I will wait and trust that they are taking the best care of my boy.