Ethan’s Journey

 I got another bill from the hospital. It was for a service done on 2/27/2021. It was some sort of exam. $480. How is this just popping up now?  Was this exam different from the other exams that were done day in and day out from 11/18/20 -3/31/21? But we only have to pay this one exam? Sigh. Another phone call. Another explanation of me telling them to submit under the old insurance and not the current insurance.  My insurance liaison isn’t returning my calls or emails at this point. Maybe she died? I have no idea. I do know I don’t have hours each week to try and communicate with the hospital, insurance company or the collections agency. Hours! No one will talk to me without Ethan’s consent so I have to make sure he is home from work to make these calls. This system sets people up for failure! It’s so annoying and I have found that sometimes my coping mechanism is to ignore it until I have the proper energy to deal with it mentally. How did it get to be the last day of S...

 Our lab plan did work to a degree. Sort of.  Ethan checked in with the QR code at 8:00 while we were in route to the lab. We tried to do so earlier, but the lab wasn’t open so it wouldn’t allow us to check in. There were 4 people ahead of him. When we arrived, we walked in and his name was called within 5 minutes or less. Very promising. We gave the lady his 3 pages of blood tests. Then we waited. We waited and waited and waited. Ethan was tolerant. Finally they called Ethan’s name. Other phlebotomists were calling their 4 th or 5 th person in. We finally were called and I asked the lab, what their process was. The thing that takes the longest, is that they have to manually enter in ALL 3 pages of tests, one by one. What a time suck.  NYC lab orders don’t mesh with Rochester labs. We were there for a solid 40 minutes before we were called back. So we did save a little time. Good to know! We will see what the results are.

 We are going to try and “beat the system” tomorrow. Ethan needs his bloodwork done. He won’t go by himself because he never knows what the ladies are talking about. The last time I had to stay in the car because I had a meeting for work. He came out to the car with like a two gallon jug to collect his urine. What? The fact he is going without a fight is a win.the last time we were there, we waited for about an hour. With the drive there and back home and the time spent getting the sample, the simple blood draw takes about 2 hours. I wish I could just do it at home. We have a picture of the QR code. We are going to gamble and check in to have the labs drawn, from our driveway to cut down on our wait time. Hopefully by the time we get there, they will be ready for us. We will see if it works or not.  I am glad it is Friday tomorrow. This week has been long and hectic. Down right chaotic really. I have been putting in long hours this week trying to train our new team members. Wi...

  Today is Nicole’s birthday. Nicole is Ethan’s heart donor. We were able to connect with her family on Facebook and  I saw that her family was celebrating her day. When I saw her beautiful face beaming in the pictures I just lost it. A flood of emotion washed over me as I can only imagine how terribly her family misses her. I can only imagine that they want one more of her hugs. One more of her smiles. One more time listening to her voice or her laugh. I am thankful she chose to sign up to be an organ donor. Her choice for organ donation not only saved Ethan’s life, but others as well. It is a testament to the kindness her family describes she had. I would like to celebrate Nicole today. My heart goes out to her family.  I am sure today and every other birthday her family celebrates without her, just seems empty. Happy Birthday Nicole! Or as her mom lovingly refers to her as “Colie” or “Colie Bear”

 I hurt my neck sleeping last night. I went to bed feeling fine, woke up with a sore neck. The majority of my adult injuries have been while resting. I worked a bit late today and was exhausted. I didn’t even take the dogs for a walk today. Poor dogs. However, they didn’t seem to mind. Lazy pups. I continued with my basement organization for a little bit. I just want to throw everything away or donate it. We don’t or haven’t used most of it in years. Why keep it? Avery got the results of her calculus test back. The class average was a 61. Ouch. Last week Avery was bummed that she had to miss two of her club meetings because she had to study for her calculus test. She looks forward to these meetings. She finally got her test back today and was pleasantly surprised that her hard work paid off. She got an 88. way to go kid!  She seems to be thriving at college.  Ethan worked in the garage the majority of the day. It is his happy place. I was also thankful for the nice weathe...

 Today was weird. I was super busy with back to back meetings for almost 8 hours straight.  One of the people I interviewed lost her husband suddenly and has a small child. Ugh. She is getting help and picking up the pieces of her broken life and her child’s broken life. I hope she gets hired.  I spoke with someone else who recently lost their fiancé to suicide. We talked about mental health and how important it was to talk about feelings openly.  Ethan worked all day today, when he got home, he mowed the back lawn. He seemed down today. I gave him a big plate of food. I find I shove food at people when they seem sad to me. I am not sure why.  I have a few projects I am working on. One is to clear the “stuff” from our basement. It is an unpleasant chore. I will be thankful when it is over. It was a beautiful day. My windows were open, the breeze was floating in. The sun was out. Not bad for a Monday.

 Today was a work day. But Ethan really wanted to get some fall yum yums. We went to the local apple farm and bought the “to die for” apple fritters and some glazed donuts. We didn’t forget the cider. We then went to Blodgett’s Farms to get our pumpkins. They are the best. The money you spend goes to local charities.  I am in an organization mood. I think that because I am getting help with my territory at work, I need to feel in control of something. I need everything clean. I need to donate things. I have a food shelf box. I have some clothes for the local clothing closet. I have some items to donate to the vet. The rest will go to goodwill. My territory at work is being split up into 3. I have been doing the work of three people since the beginning of the year. I am a bit nervous that I will get a normal work load and be bored (hence the cleaning). I know it will work out how it is supposed to. It will be a new lesson for me. Avery ventured back off to college this afternoo...

 I have been tired the last couple days as I have blogged and was falling asleep.  Today was great! I took Rachel and Avery to Hidden Valley Animal Adventure. If you like touching animals and feeling them, this place is great! The petting zoo is fun because it has goats, donkeys, llama’s, horses, ponies, and more. The goats are fun because they are a little naughty sometimes. Some of their voices sound like Mongolian throat singers. (Look it up…it really does!) The scenery is beautiful. The leaves are just starting to change. There were hints of red, yellow and orange spread through the backdrop of the rolling hills covered with trees. We got on the safari. There are all sorts of animals that come over to eat. Water Buffalo, elk, llamas, zebras cows, ostrich, emu and more. They don’t mind if you touch them. I would give a nose rub or head Pat along with the food I offered. I loved every second of it. We finished up there and I took the girls to our house. Avery was tired and n...

 Mom came home from the hospital today. She is sore and acclimating to life after surgery. Things we take for granted like sitting down or putting socks on are a chore right now for her. She will start to feel better in a few days. Today was a beautiful day. The breeze was warm. I could hear the trees leaves blowing behind me as I walked the dogs. I love that.

 Mom didn’t come home today. Boo! They wanted to keep her overnight and have PT come in for a visit tomorrow. I feel like they are trying to set her up for success. She is in good spirits and had some feral lady on her floor being a terribly difficult patient. The lady was screaming and yelling at the nurses. Unbelievable! I met Sarah for breakfast this morning. Of course I enjoyed every second. I will see her again in two days which is exciting. I ordered my groceries on Instacart and went to pick them up. When I pulled into the parking lot, I rolled my window down so I was ready to talk to whomever brought the groceries out.  A nice lady came out and loaded everything up. When she walked away, I went to put my window up and it made a terrible clunk. Then my window would now go up. I couldn’t even see the window. I had to drive home with the window open. I know that I have noise aversion and certain noise bothers me more than others. A window down is NOT a noise I enjoy. I wa...

My mom had back surgery today. It was almost the same surgery as I had in January. My role was to be the driver. I don’t want to brag, but I got her there safely. Gene went in and stayed with her until they took her to the operating room. She had to arrive for surgery at 2:15 pm. Nothing to eat after midnight….they wanted her nice and hangry. I sat in the main lobby waiting room. Wow! The people watching was epic. Human behavior is interesting. There was one guy blasting his rap music on his phone, because apparently he has never heard of ear buds. Why does one assume that everyone enjoys their music? The lack of awareness is amazing. Another guy was on the phone with someone and was yelling out his credit card number. One poor lady fell on her way out of the hospital and they came and took her back in. I felt bad for her. That had to be scary as it was quite chaotic. One man was loudly discussing his wife’s infection and her bowel movements girth, texture and viscosity. He had a sligh...

 Turd Ferguson is a character on Saturday Night Live from the 90’s. It is one the the many skits that gives me a good chuckle. I liked it enough to name our chihuahua Ferguson. We sometimes lovingly call him Turd Ferguson. He does have an insatiable love for stool. He rolls in it, eats it, prances around with it in his mouth etc.this causes the loving way we call his name, to a NOT loving way, very fast. Today he and penny found a nice pile of scat to roll in. It caught me off guard as I smelled it before I saw it. Wow! The smell was offensive. I tossed him into the sink and was not pleased with his choices. He seemed sad he got caught but not sad that he rolled in poop. I often sing to him the song “Scat Man…but change the words to scat dog. After his bath I could still smell the choking haze. Penny had rolled in it too. Ugh!  The good news is that the dogs are squeaky clean now. Damn dogs!

My sciatic nerve on my non-surgical side was flared up today. It sucked. It’s sore and I did a multitude of different exercises and stretches. Zero stars for the annoying pain in my leg. I spoke to a friend going through cancer treatment. I suddenly felt far less sorry for myself. After hearing about the crippling nausea and painful treatments, suddenly my pain in the leg is not that bad. Perspective. Today was the Monday-est Monday that I have had in quite a while. 

 We woke up this morning and left our little lake rental. Such a pretty morning. We went out to breakfast and actually had fairly tame conversations for a group like us. We did discuss nudist colonies and if we would and wouldn’t go visit. We discussed nudist colony etiquette and the rule of always sitting on a towel you bring.  I don’t really have a desire to visit a place like this. I am too much of a germaphobe. I also likely would stare and just be considered rude by the locals. Avery came home this afternoon to visit after she was done working. I cut her hair for her. She is enjoying school. She also enjoys being introverted and finding peace with solidarity.  2/3rds of the dogs got a bath. Ferguson didn’t need one because he is such a fastidious groomer.  I did my exercising this afternoon. I was about 5 times around our field. Nice! I was in my bed before 8:00pm.

 This morning I woke up with an overwhelming sense of gratitude in my heart. It was a nice feeling and I am not sure where it came from. It really washed over me as I sat quietly in the living room. Everyone was asleep because I am an early bird. I logged in to my work computer as I do have some things I needed to prepare. We have new team members starting in a week. I needed to get my notes cleaned up and ready to hand over.  I am proud to say that they hired two new people to divide up my territory. For the last SEVERAL months I have been doing the work of 3 people. I thought about asking for 3 salaries ha ha. As I typed away and enjoyed the quiet (all but a cricket some place in the house and the humming of fans). My view was spectacular. I am so thankful I can take this job with me. I really do enjoy it. I also enjoy the strategic planning and troubleshooting that goes into it. Maybe this is life rewarding me for surviving the past few years? The water was sparkling and th...

I got the opportunity to help a vet clinic locally with going paperless. I am super excited about it. I have a meeting on Monday to find out more information. I did have to share it with my current boss to make sure I wouldn’t be violating any sort of policy.  We also have a meeting set up to make sure that we set clear expectations and deadlines. Paul and I headed out of town with to spend the weekend with friends. We rented a house in Seneca Falls that overlooked Cayuga Lake. It is really pretty. There are decks overlooking Cayuga Lake. The background noise from the bugs, birds and waves  lapping on the shore. We spent the evening sharing stories, reminiscing and laughing. I have noticed a shift in our conversations. We discussed how our teenagers act. We discussed our medical ailments and we discussed financial opportunities for the future. This is a total shift from 25 years ago. 

 Avery aged out of her previous health care coverage and we had to get her a new plan. I spent about 2 hours on the phone with the New York State Department of Health to see what she qualified for. I do have an online account and could have done everything through that, but somehow I ended up with two accounts and I wasn’t able to access either one. This forced me to call. I had to verify and revering my information, over and over again. Once we figured out what she qualifies for, I had some homework to do picking out a plan. Ugh! I hate insurance and all things that go with it. Her coverage ends in 2 weeks so I had to be an adult and just deal with it. (Zero thumbs up for that!) There is a kid, that looks to be about 10 years old, by our house that rides his bike to the corner about daily. He tries to get cars to honk at him. I panicked every day when I hear the first honking. I assume that my dogs have run into the road and are going to be hit. It is terrifying. I also got pissed...

 Yes! Ethan’s hair is out of control! Ha ha.  We headed out to the neuro-surgeon today. He was going over Ethan’s MRI results from a few weeks ago. Good news! Ethan has had no change in the Pituitary Adenoma that he has. That is a fancy way of saying tumor on the pituitary gland, that is not cancerous. This adenoma could have been there since birth. It could have developed 5 years ago, we just don’t know. With there being no change in the past year, I consider that a good sign. The doctor recommended us coming back in a year to get it checked. I posed the question “if he is not having any problems, there has been no change in size of the adenoma and things seem stable, can we push this appointment out for 2 years?” The thought of having to drag Ethan to an appointment that he doesn’t want to go to is torture. Ethan liked the idea of the plan. The doctor agreed to it. We agreed that if any symptoms arise that we will get checked sooner. Symptoms would be headache, change of vis...

 I keep learning about my coping skills. When I get overwhelmed, it is best for me to simplify. I had 200 work emails in my inbox. I always try to have my emails dealt with by the end of each day. Some of the emails I had, were just notifications that someone changed their resume online. It gives me a link to their updated resume. Of the 200 emails, about 160 of them were these notifications.  I decided to delete them all and start over new tomorrow. It is not the most ideal solution, but I felt like I was digging a grave by hand,  in a concrete block. It was so weird, as I saw the number of unread emails go down, suddenly reading all the emails was far more achievable.  It’s so odd how minds work. It was such a simple solution. I only got behind because, as my boss said, “you are doing the work of 3 people”. That is not a lie. Two recruiters were hired to help me with my territory. My one territory will be split into 3 sections.  after work, I had a friend come...

 Work was so busy. I couldn’t finish anything.  I had to shut my computer off after working 3 hours longer than I should have.  I do have things to do that are not work related.  I did some errands after work. Paul is still working on landscaping the front steps. The weather is perfect right now. We enjoyed sleeping with the window open. I got my familiar call from the collection agency. Ugh! Ethan was at work, so I didn’t answer. They call me, but won’t talk to me without his permission. Each time I ask them to make a permanent note saying it’s ok. Ethan gives them verbal permission that it is ok to talk to me…yet EVERY.SINGLE.TIME… they want to talk to Ethan for verbal verification. I try very hard not to complain about these calls in front of Ethan. I don’t want him to feel bad/guilty about them.  Ethan heard a screech owl tonight. That was our entertainment.  We tried to play YouTube screech owl calls back to it. At one point, I think the real owl was c...

 This morning we leisurely took our time to get ready to leave and come home. Seeing these people makes time stop. It rewinds back to the college days.  We may require menu’s with bigger fonts, longer arms to read things and cheater glasses, but still, we know how to have fun. These are people we have grown up with for the past 25 years or more. we grabbed breakfast and drove home. Ethan and Avery were both home. Ethan had waited for us to release his (now four of them) monarch butterflies. It was cool to see how pretty they were. There were two males and two females. All of them fluttered away. One of the butterflies went up towards our tree. This pissed off a hummingbird which charged the newly hatched butterfly. Oh no! Luckily the butterfly hid and the hummingbird flew away. Oh the drama! Avery made dinner and I made dessert. She went on her way back to school. She is enjoying her classes and is looking forward to her clubs starting. I was looking at my calendar and Ethan h...

 We slept in this morning a little bit. We overlooked the river. I watched freighters go up the river and down the river. Paul woke up in slightly rough shape. He joined the balcony with his shirt off and shorts on backwards. “What kind of night did you have? What happened?” I asked. We sat around and giggled about silly things done or said from the evening before. Heather and I did some shopping, but we didn’t buy anything. It was fun to look though. We talked about how we accumulate so much “stuff” over the years and really you don’t need any of it. This afternoon, we spent on a dock right on the river. So pretty. Paul had fraternity things he had to manage. This was a fund raiser that he and the other people on the board had been planning for months. It turned out to be successful and they made several thousand dollars. Still wish we could have gone camping. Heather and I tried to photo bomb as many pictures as possible with questionable posing in the back ground. We hope that w...

Todays was a rushing around kind of day. I had to take Paul to work. I had a doctors appointment (routine) and then back to back meetings all day.  Ethan discovered his caterpillars hatched and he had a couple monarch butterflies. We had fun looking at them up close. He has been researching how to take care of them for the first 24 hours. He is going to let them go tomorrow. They were on Jiminy’s head. We ended up going to Alexandria bay. We were supposed to go camping with my cousin. Paul cancelled on them last minute. I didn’t agree with it and was upset. This is not how I do things, but we have to move on right? We worked through that and I ended up going to Alex bay with Paul. We ended up sharing a room with friends. We spent the evening seeing people we haven’t seen in several years.  I had some good conversations and look forward to tomorrow. 

 Ferguson was feeling a little bit better today. At one point he was limping on his left front leg. He was more mobile than yesterday. We visited Dr. Jackie and I gave him some laser therapy. Ferguson enjoys that. It seems to help him feel better. He was all spry and running around afterwards. I was following him, panicking that he was going to re-injure himself. The weather was kind of gross out. Muggy and rainy part of the day. I had planned on donating plasma this summer. I am not pleased that the summer got away from me. I need to revisit that. Plasma is the liquid portion of the blood. It can be used to help with burn victims, shock victims, immunosuppressed patients etc. Ethan received plasma while he was hospitalized. I want to pay it forward. My issue is making the time for it. I need to just plan it and go. They open early. I can even bring my computer and do some work. It takes a bit of time. Supposedly it takes 90 minutes. Plus the drive to the center and back we are loo...

 Ferguson got to visit Dr. Jackie today. He continued to cry at the slightest movement. So off to see Jackie we went. She fixed him up good. She did a chiropractic adjustment, acupuncture and laser therapy. She suspects he has a pinched nerve as well.  We have him on a good drug regimen and he gets a heated corn bag and neck massages often. We are going back to get more laser therapy tomorrow. I also raised his feeding bowls so he didn’t have to bend down. Ferguson was a tough guy at the vet. He always is. He was not going to admit pain to the doctor. He sat quietly, not squawking at all when she moved him around. Very stoic.  Ferguson turns 12 next month. My old crotchety man. Perfectly imperfect. I feel sorry for him. I have had that pain and it is no fun. Avery met me out to grocery shop together today. Her dorm doesn’t have air conditioning and she has been sweating her butt off. She welcomed an air conditioned store. I talked her into coming back to the house and eat...

 My poor crotchety little Ferguson has a sore neck. He is crying out in pain when he moves. I have to lift him carefully and carry him outside.  He has had a cocktail of pain medications and forced rest. I spent the day applying heated corn bags to his neck area and massaging his neck. Both he tolerates well. Penny is distressed at her hate/love pal is not well. Anytime Ferguson squawks, Penny rushes to his side and checks him all over. I caught Penny just walking along side of him and laying down next to him while he “went potty”. Ethan worked today.  Avery is in a non-air conditioned dorm. It is blasted hot. I guess it is a reminder to her to make good choices or she will live out eternity in this kind of weather. Ha ha Avery received the note I wrote her. She noticed I put a fake name for the return address. A name that when said aloud, was funny and inappropriate. She liked it. As long as I can make someone laugh, my day is complete.

 Happy Labor Day! Celebrate your fellow workers!  We brought our camper home today. Another great camping season in the books. One more trip to go. (We were supposed to have two trips, but Paul cancelled one). We are still quite busy this month with weekend activities.  We had one last ride on the jet ski’s. The waves were decent but still minimal splashing. Ethan had a friend over when I got home. He and his buddy were doing boy things in the garage. His friend purchased a side by side go-cart type machine.  Avery was not feeling her best today. She thinks she has the back to school creeping crud. She was feeling nauseous and had a sore throat. She was feeling like she had a cold. She did manage to help me shave the rabbits private parts. Theo’s bikini area was unkept. We got him bikini ready as well as gave him a thorough brushing. There was rabbit hair everywhere. I am glad it is a shorter week this week. 

I took the dogs for the longest walk today. I tried to tire them out which I think I did. We walked almost 3 miles.  Paul and I took the jet ski’s out this morning. We had a great ride. It was a little bit wavy but not too bad. We parked on the non-windy side of the island and chatted about life for like 20-30 minutes.  We reported the lovely conditions on the north side of the island and we took the boat out to enjoy the sunshine. We had great music and the ability to swim around while enjoying a beverage. I miss these days in the winter. The warmth of the sun, the fresh smell of the lake.  When we arrived back from our boat ride, all 3 dogs had a lake bath. I then took them for a walk in the sunshine to warm them up.  After dinner, we went out of the jet ski’s again. We again parked and chatted for a bit, enjoyed the quiet and the scenery. We had started the camp fire earlier. We were able to enjoy the fire for several hours. That was the best.

 I took the dogs on a walk this morning. As I was walking I stopped and aren’t a in the hospitals with their kids.closed my eyes. I could hear nothing but the lake, the wind ruffling through the leaves, the bugs looking for their mates singing away and nothing else. I felt the sun on my skin and the warm breeze through my hair. I could smell the fresh cut field as it is drying and preparing to become feed for animals. I like taking moments like these to sort of freeze time and be present in the moment. I thought about people that don’t have that opportunity. Parents in the hospital with their kids round the clock. We had a leisurely day. I spent time walking and caring for the dogs. We did walks. They each got time to sunbathe. We had some excitement as a raccoon was running around. We tried to follow it for a bit. He finally was able to shake us. We had an excellent dinner. We didn’t think we were going to be able to have a fire. It was a bit windy. We found a still spot and set u...

 I talked to Avery briefly today. She is excited for Club Craze next week. Club Craze is where you learn about and potentially join a club or clubs that you are interested in. She already has a few clubs in mind. Her room mate brought her support dog to school. Avery really likes the dog. Ethan helped a friend with a car for a bit. He then spent the majority of his day working on his own car. Paul and I went camping with some family. We had a campfire over looking the lake. It was so bright as the moon was glowing away. Not a bad day.